1001 Things U DONT wanna hear over a Star Destroyer intercom

[ElladanKenet]

Vader- Hey, has anyone seen where I put by JarJar doll?.... oh, there you are! Did baby miss daddy?! Oh yes he did! He did! HE DID!!!!!!!!!!..... oh god, who left that on?!  

[Shika_Dude101]

Intercom: Attention all personal we have a new comanding officer on the ship. Please welcome Grand Admiral Gir.

Gir:I'm gonna sing the doom song, doom doom doom do doom do doom

*Eject pods take off*

*Gun shots go off as people commit suicide*  

[Jaden_Ordo]

Cale Darksun

Intercom:"Good Morning, Dave."

((HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Omg, that is so fecking funny! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! *falls onto floor laughing*))  

[Necron_Friend]

Has anybody seen my Nexus they go by slashy and disemboweler thank you.  

[Pyrathas Dragonstar]

Attention all Imperial Personal, we regret to inform you lord vader does sleep walk with hi lightsaber on. please remain out of sight until he GWAAAAHHHHHH *Light saber hums followed by vader's snoring*

Attention all personel if you see a ten foot wampa beast in your sector do not engage. Instead call the bridge to inform us of yours location so we may seal it off. Thank you and have a pleasant day *CLICK*  

[Missing00]

Intercom: Helloooo Deathstar this is your DJ TK-1138 or as lord Palpatine calls me, "the punk in the box". Ha ha, well today we'll kick it off with a request from TK-1597 in sector 6 hope you enjoy and remember to always rock out. *Plays Highway to Hell by AC/DC*  

[elvisnake]

Tarkin: Evacuate now? In our moment of Triumph? Actually, that sounds like a good idea...  

[Darkened Angel]

Computer: The Death Star will now self destruct in 10... 9... 8... 6...
Vader: 6? What happened to 7?
Computer: Just kidding. 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... Have a nice day.
Vader and Palps: Thank you.

* boom *  

[Pyrathas Dragonstar]

Rebel Trooper: Um Hello anyone onboard?
Han: Hey keep it down. We don't need o alert the entire crew we're in the main engine rooms.
Rebel trooper: Uh commander Solo, what's this red light for and the red but here? I just pressed?
Han: The red light show the intercom is on the button... Oh SHIIITTTTT!!

Rebel pilot: Commander skywalker cann you hear me this is Rogue two.
Commander Solo can you here me this is roge two.
Imperial officer: Wrong frequence scumbag.
Admiral peyette: Don't say that! We can locate there base! Keep him on.
Rebel Pilot: Oh crap!
*Static*
Vader: what is the status on the rebel base Admiral?
Admiral Peyete: Well Lord Vader.... You see.. we uh... we los... *gags*
Vader: With this kind of a Navy the rebels will surely when. I must tell the Kaminoans not to clone the clones....  

[elvisnake]

Vader: IF I DON'T GET A CUP OF CAF IN TEN SECONDS, I'LL KILLEVERYBODY ABOARD THIS KRIFFING SHIP!!!  

[Des Voh]

(Thats more like Twitch)  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: Intruder detected on the bridge.
Vader: You idiotic computer, it's me, Lord Vader.
Intercom: Intruder Lord Vader detected on the bridge.
Vader: No! I'm Lord Vader, and this is MY ship.
Intercom: Intruder Lord Vader has stolen the Executor from the bridge.
Vader: What!? NO! I'm in the Empire, I'm one of you.
Intercom: Intruder Lord Vader has stolen the Executor, and is a spy impersonating an Imperial officer.
Vader: Gah! No! I'm the Lord of the Sith, you huttspawn machine!
Intercom: Intruder Lord Vader is a spy impersonating an Imperial officer and is suffering from delusions.
Vader: LOOK HERE, YOU STUPID MACHINE! I AM DARTH VADER, LORD OF THE SITH, AND I COMMAND YOU TO RECOGNIZE MY AUTHORITY ABOARD THIS SHIP!
Intercom: Intruder Lord Vader is a spy impersonating an Imperial officer, has stolen the Executor, and has gone hysterical. Security is advised to detain the intruder and administer psychiatric treatment.  

[Jaden_Ordo]

Officer: Attention all personnel.... we are out of toilet paper...  

[Darkened Angel]

Bridge officer: Red alert, all personnel to battle stations - OH MY GOD IT'S GONNA- * static *  

[Kit Tainess]

Palpy: Attention all troops, it has been proven that I have kriffing pooped myself in every sector, please be advised, also, we are having wampa claws for lunch today.

Vader: *walks in with his arm around a girl* So I says to the guy, Lucas, we should put more of Luke in the movie, and less of leia. *The girl pulls of her mask and turns out to be leia* You Kriffing SOB! -Blaster shots, leia gagging sounds-

Palpy:*craps himself again* O-M-TEH-G-NESS! YOU KILLED YOUR APPRENTICE!

Vader:Um, boss, the red light is on.

Palpy: Uh, hehe, that will be all -poot-.

Sounds of blaster shots go off as troops kill them selves.