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Naruto: Ultimate Roleplaying (NUR) [CLOSED]

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A long-lived guild, filled with memories of a time long-gone. RIP NUR. 

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Firu Shinra

6,100 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Conversationalist 100
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:01 pm
YEAH!!!!! SO SCREW OFF!!!! And Soj, same here.  
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:02 pm
little mintchan
-boobs dropkick right back a a assassin posion blade knife comes out- AH HA I FOUND IT AT LAST! thanks plushies^-^ -takes blade out and attacks fen- oh well...bed time x-x


*blade breaks on Fenrir's body* Don't you know who I am? I'M THE JUGGERNAUT b***h! *glomps mint's other boob*  

Fist of the Bro Star

Shirtless Seraph


Firu Shinra

6,100 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Conversationalist 100
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:10 pm
*pulls out handgun*

User Image  
PostPosted: Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:14 pm
HEY FEN!!!!!

User Image  

Firu Shinra

6,100 Points
  • Dressed Up 200
  • Person of Interest 200
  • Conversationalist 100

Gardeford Superior

Shirtless Lunatic

8,050 Points
  • Bunny Hunter 100
  • Bunny Spotter 50
  • Nudist Colony 200
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 12:19 am
User Image Join the conversation...  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:13 am
is anyone online? i could really use some help  

Sindenky


tinymini7

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:26 am
Is anyone still awake  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:26 am
I am~  

Unrelinquished Despair


Sindenky

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:36 am
thx loller ^^  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:57 am
Wow, you guy are still awake  

tinymini7


Unrelinquished Despair

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:36 am
HEY! Guys! Read this! It's my RP sample for a Nosferatu-ish Kekkai Genkai in Village Rebellion. Opinion please~ I'm still rusty with my RP'ing.

RP Sample:
(Going to use the cheesey history thing as my introduction. Oh yeah, don't think about the emo introduction. Also if you're squemish or something, don't read. xD )

Everyone's dead...

That was the only thought that raced through the girls mind at the time as she sat beside a tree. Her eyes were drifting around the dark, dreadful scene of the flickering fire, and the organs that were strewn across the area.

Brutality...

No one that she'd even known, or even knew of could do such a thing. Bodies, appendages, digits, heads, and other bodily things were torn, ripped to shreads and strewn across the place. Blood was everywhere, several faint moans, groans and screams could be heard as the dying slowly became abiotic like the rest of the crowd.

Rustles of movement could be heard, and the female immediately turned her head to the noise. With what her strained eyes could see, it was made out to be a person, hunched over and checking the gore with its hands. Whatever it was didn't matter to her at the time, and the idea that they could still be there didn't spark.

"H-H-ey!" She shouted. Her hand shot into the air with drained force, waving slightly as if something was restraining her. The figure turned itself to her form and let out a gutteral sound. Suddenly, fear washed over her stricken mind and adrenaline began pumping furiously, as she realized what she had just done. The thing she was calling to, it was one of them.

Interest sparked within the cannibalistic figure, it slowly stepped towards the girl, letting out more low sounds as it approached. Once her feminine figure became clear to its defying eyes, it let out a hungry sound and began laughing. Fear still held the girl as she stared blankly at the being, imminent death the only thing she could think of happening.

As it charged, something snapped within the organic compound of hers called the brain, and before it could lay a hand on her soft female flesh, she jumped to the left and allowed it to collide with the tree. In furious confusion the being struggled to get back up after a humiliating moment, and charged once more with its guttural growl. However, the second time movement was slowed due to her state, and the timing was a small bit late.

The disfigured human snatched her right hand before she could get away, and easily tossed her through the air, allowing her to slide into the ground. Nothing was in her mind at the time.

Nothing...

Something else snapped, and an intense berserk feeling renewed her limbs, allowing the female to once again step back up. With her young form, she stood infront of the mad figure, charging directly at her. Within seconds surprising events unraveled.

Right before the cannibalisitc being could lay a finger on her, she grasped its arm as she stepped to the left, using the momentum, and overwhelming strength gained from adrenaline, and pulled it off of its course, throwing it directly into the ground before her. Before it could recover, killer instinct arose and she picked up a rock, beginning to batter its ugly form with the solid surface of it.

Thud... thud... thud...

All she did was beat it furiously, anger, frustration, and primal instinct overtaking her. During the moments, blood was flying everywhere due to the force repeatedly smashing against its head. Somewhere along the line, several drops of blood found their way into her mouth, and allowed her the sweet taste of what the cannibals were after. The only thing that could've stopped her from turning the being into organic mush was the new feeling.

Extreme thrist for blood was all she felt now, replacing all the humane things that vigilantly tried to keep their place in her mind. Her eyes pulsated with the vision of the blood of her victim, saliva now overcoming her conscious mouth and dripping onto the near dead victim below. Slowly, with a small laugh unbefitting of one such as her, her head approached the being open flesh and attached its new teeth to the flesh. Relief flowed over her body as blood gradually drifted into her mouth, onto her tongue, and down her throat.

"HELP!"

The shouting of another soon to be victim tore her attention away from the now dead one, a devilish grin carving itself into her crimson red lips. Another fresh course for her new self, and even more to come. The feeling that was given to her young mind was similar to ecstasy, soft moans escaping her lips everytime the blood filled her small needs.

"Family...?" She whispered. The sudden image of love invading her eyes.

Nothing such as it was ever going to be needed again, all that was left was her personal need, and the death that would fall upon her enemies.
 
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 3:58 am
i really like it loller but this line:

The figure turned itself to her form and let out a gutteral sound.

could be changed in my mind, you make it to announced that shes a girl. The description is good but as i read it was kept thinking, "ok i get it already its a girl...  

Sindenky


Unrelinquished Despair

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:02 am
Well, I'm talking in third person so I don't really see how I can reword that. xD

That's one of my problems I think, I'm too into the character for third person to work as well.  
PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:08 am
The Mutilated humanoid figure slowly turned itself to face her. It parted its saliva dripping lips and let out a terrible gargling sound.


something like that would work better.

and replace girl with child, the points i get is she young, frail, and a girl. So dont mention young and frail 1-3 time each and girl 7-12 times.
split it up a bit  

Sindenky


Sindenky

PostPosted: Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:11 am
"Family...?" She whispered, the word feeling alien and out of place in her blood coated throat as a sudden image of love invaded her eyes.


and go into some deeper detail for something xD now im just amplifying everything, not saying use this but it hit me and i HAD to type it.  
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Naruto Ultimate Roleplaying

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