1001 Things U DONT wanna hear over a Star Destroyer intercom

[Besuliik Deakin]

Officer: I'm on.... fireee, the one.... desiiiree.
Stormie: Is that...
Officer: Shut up.
Stormie: .....
Whole Star Destroyer laughs.  

[ElladanKenet]

Pilot: So.... can anyone actually fly this thing?  

[Black Baoz]

Darth Vader: I used to before losing my hands... crying  

[ElladanKenet]

Vader: Hey, lookie! I can stab myself! woo! *stabs*  

[Wind Spirit22]

Com: Attention, the rancors have escaped from the zoo on deck 7. That is all.  

[Black Baoz]

Emperor: Prepare to meet your doom Earthling filth!
Vader: I'm gonna sing the Doom song now... Doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom doom....  

[Sayla-girl]

Intercom: Try not to get sucked into the Vortex of Hell, men!  

[Darkened Angel]

Pilot: Captain, is the " Evacuate " button supposed to be blinking like that?  

[ElladanKenet]

Crewman: What does it mean when the atmosphere indicator reads 0?  

[Black Baoz]

Bender from Future-rama, "How the H*&^ I get here? Self Destruct? So long you imperal bas$%^&!  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: They blew up the Death Star and I'm still alive. I'll be building a new one and I'm still alive. These aren't the droids we're looking for and I'm still alive.  

[Sol Walker]

Intercom: Alright chums lets do this! LEEEEEERRROYYYYY JENKKKIIINNNSS!!!!!!!!!!!  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: Quick! Use SD Bombardment! TIE Support! TIE SUPPORT! AAAGH! Oh my God... Kriff it, Leroy!  

[ElladanKenet]

Intercom: This just in. Lord Vader has cut our Life Support Funding. I hope everyone remembered to bring their breather to work.  

[Darkened Angel]

Intercom: It puts the cybernetics on its skin, or else it gets the Force Choke again.