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 Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 8:27 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2007 8:30 pm
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Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2007 6:54 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 8:47 pm
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2007 10:59 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 11:20 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 10:46 am
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 5:56 pm
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Seashore--Lefika--Adult--Self--12/17/07
Quote: Here she was again, on her own. It had been so long since she'd had time to herself to think. A few miles down the shore from the Kizingoo'Zaa Pridelands, Lefika sat perched on the very edge of a cliff. It was one of the loveliest places she'd seen in a while. The sand below and the ocean all sparkled. It was a quiet day and the water lazily lapped the shore. She was nestled in amongst some long, dry sea grasses, and when the breeze picked up they would rustle very slightly. For the moment, it all just sounded like pleasant white noise. This was nice...
Hadithi had told her she needed to go out and find her muse. The childlike king had been... somewhat vague in the details, but he had assured her that when she found her muse, she'd know about it. All she had to do was open her heart and listen and wait.
Well, her heart was already open. Lefika had been born with her heart open, or at least that's what she thought. She knew how to appreciate the beauty of the world, she was compassionate, she had loved, loved passionately, and she kept her son close to her as she traveled. That meant she was open-hearted, right?
A cloud drifted slowly across the sun, now dimming the world and hiding the glitter from her sight. Her silver eyes went blank for some time as she retreated from the world, into her head. Suddenly, she wasn't so sure. Yeah, she loved beauty and she loved kids and she had been in love once before. But what did it really mean, honestly? She still didn't care much for strangers, although she would speak with them if that was what they wanted from her. She didn't ever reach out for anybody, not even when she needed it, not even when she really wanted to. Desperately, she had always wanted to believe in her own self sufficiency. That was why she had avoided pridal life, that was why she had avoided friendship for so long. Why, the only reason she had opened her heart to Koda so readily was that he had been so persistent with her, and that quality had charmed her.
And Sepoko... darling Sepoko. He was so sad, so sad all the time... but she always kept quiet and left him his emotional distance so that he could figure things out on his own. She did this for him because that's how things had been for her, and she thought it would make him stronger if he sorted things out on his own... but Sepoko was different from her. Sepoko needed affection, craved it. And she... she had been cold to him. Her darling boy. A tear slowly leaked from the corner of her eye. When his father and his brother had left, they may as well have left him all alone, hadn't they?
Oh, and Ajabu. She had always wondered what had gone wrong with that boy. He had been so cruel, so selfish, so self-righteous, and he had tormented little Sepoko. And what had she, Lefika, done? Not much. She figured that it was their problem and that they would sort it out amongst themselves. She only intervened when Sepoko had gotten especially upset. Perhaps... perhaps if she had intervened more often, Sepoko wouldn't be so melancholy. Perhaps if she had been more affectionate, Ajabu would've been a better boy.
And perhaps if she weren't so cold and distant, she and Koda wouldn't have fallen apart.
Oh, Koda...
Even as the sun emerged once again, it would not pierce the darkness that now welled up in Lefika's heart. Usually so stoic, so serene, Lefika now threw back her head and let out an anguished roar. Why? Why? Why did things always have to fall apart on her!? Why did things have to be this way!? Why did she have to suddenly feel so needy now?
And now she paused, startled. She was startled because, even in the aching of her heart, she noticed for the first time that the whispering of the waves, the whistle of the wind, the rustling of the grass, and the distant singing of birds... why... altogether it sounded like a symphony. Like a song.
For a moment she paused, and she listened to it, gradually coming to nod to its beat and its melody. Suddenly she felt a desperate need to climb down, to be in the midst of the music, and not so high above it like she was. In fact, she swore she could hear a voice calling, "Come on! Come on down! Come meet the world!" Eagerly she bounded down the more gradual slope of the cliff and came down to the beach. There, she came to stand chest deep in the water, feeling its wash and watching the fish dance, and she sang, a little hesitantly at first... "A million creatues live here and I can plainly see... but it's only your face that gets through to me... I swim the sea of creatures that we're related to... it feels really strange to know not what they do..." She nodded her head to it a bit. Yes. This was the song she was hearing. "Yeah, it seems really strange to not know what to do."
Her tail began to lash a bit as she got the hang of it, splashing the water around her. Fish fled her motion, and she laughed aloud and followed through with her song: "Look at them running away from this and straight to that, imagine the suffering that goes with that!" She began to pace through the water to really feel it's motion, to feel the mud in her feet, to get to know it really well, and somehow she felt that the water was glad to have her there. "Living like a stranger's dream is surreal to me, like a fish without water stranded by the sea."
It was okay, wasn't it? It was okay that Koda had left. It wasn't the end of the world. He had played his role, he had brought her two beautiful sons... and now she could move on. Someone else would love her. "Want to see your eyes in mine in the morning light--it fills me with hope that the world is right, hope that you know you are my morning light."
It was okay. She could be open now, the world was asking her to be open. She could be affectionate and still be a strong, independant lioness. She could find herself a community and a home and not be tied down. The world was her oyster and she was just one of its many lovely pearls. Wherever she was, she could always be close to the great, open sky.
That's right... the sky! Wasn't that what she traveled for? Wasn't that why she favored the grasslands and the seashore to the deep jungles? Because she longed to see the great wide blues and ruffled greys and glittering blacks. She always needed to be close to the sky. Now she lifted up her head to see it, and her eyes sparkled like the ocean and the sand, and she sang up to it, "Look at them running away from this and straight to that--imagine the suffering that goes with that! I think it's scary to never think or feel a thing. Time is so short, so feel everything!"
And the breeze coiled triumphantly around her, and the sky called down to her, "That's right, my child. That's absolutely right."
"Thank you!" she called back up to her muse. Never since she had left her birthpride to roam had Lefika felt so fulfilled. She took a few more moments to bask in the water and the sun and hear the ocean and sky reassure her, then strolled back to her new family to share the good news and her song. She took her time.
No rush, right?
"That's right, dear," said the sky as the clouds rippled through her. "Go at your own pace."
((NOTE: Lyrics loosely taken from the song 'Feel Everything' by The High Water Marks)) |
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 4:11 pm
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Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 4:26 pm
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 10:46 am
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Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 5:58 pm
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Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:00 pm
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Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 3:47 pm
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Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 5:27 pm
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