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Posted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 1:14 am
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Posted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 7:51 pm
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That's much like how I used to be. I was miserable. I didn't HATE myself, or anyone. I would cry, for no reason. It just HURT. I didn't want to kill myself, I just wanted it to end. I felt empty, cold, apathetic. I wanted to sleep and never wake up.
I would always put on a face for everyone, because there was no way I could explain how I felt. I wasn't angry or anything like that. There was no word for it.
I don't know what it was, but I DID get over it. Wicca helped, but that wasn't the only thing. I think it's just something that some of us have to go through, for whatever reason. I've been there, I understand that it's different from want to kill yourself, that it's different from depression. I KNOW. There's just that empty feeling in your heart. Helpless. Despair. Not even those words are right for it. I PROMISE you though, it WILL end.
I still get that feeling from time to time, but it gets better every day. I'm in love now though, with someone who has promised to take care of me, no matter what. You will stop feeling like this, and when you find a person that will promise you that, it will be even better.
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2007 6:33 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:41 am
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How old are you now? I was depressed long before I entered highschool, those were just the worst two years.
It sounds like your roomate isn't the best person to be around, maybe you NEED to find a different place to live. Try not to surround yourself with people like that. When you wake up, just think "Today WILL be a good day." Life is what we make of it and if we wake up thinking that the day will be horrible, it's GOING to be.
Take one day out of every week, or out of every month (depends on your schedule) to relax and do what YOU want to do.
You're constantly trying to please others. I know you might not realize it or believe it, but you can change that. YOU'RE the one that's choosing to do things that way. Just say "screw them all" and get it over with. It might seem like a bitchy, cold-hearted thing to do, but if this is driving you to depression, then it needs to be done. If they really love you, they'll understand. If not, well, it'll open you up to being able to find people who WILL care.
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:21 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:00 am
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Disapointment is part of life, you'll disapoint them even more when they DO find out and feel that you couldn't tell them. They'll get over it, YOU'LL get over it. It's nice that you're trying to help your brother, but maybe you should ask for help in that.
I know what it's like after you stop cutting. After I stopped I always felt like I had no way to let my feelings out. If you have the time, or make the time, join some type of physical activity. (karate is great for this!) It helps to releive stress and is good for depression. Rant on here all you want, people will listen!
As for your job. Find a new one. Even if it's working part-time. Hell, I'd say go and work at McDonalds, it might give you an ego boost when you meet some of the people who work there. (I know, that's wrong to say, but you never know!)
On a side note, your birthday is just three days after mine. wink I'm now 19
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 12:27 am
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 7:41 am
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:26 pm
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Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 3:05 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 12:31 pm
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Posted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 3:42 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007 8:43 pm
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Posted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 4:46 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 9:54 am
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