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 Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 6:10 pm
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~Nervous twitch~ Umm, ah, Hello to all, thanks for passing by my thread
Uh, it's my first ever fanfic, and I posted here for you guys to enjoy ~and to see if there's any errors regarding the current chapter as a whole~
The timeline of this story is set 30 years after Saya and Diva's last fight. I'll bringing back some canon characters from the anime as well as some of my Original characters. There maybe some OOC of some of the canon characters, errr... I guess I wanted to start the story fresh.
Anyway, I present you guys the first chapter of the New Dawn; Enjoy ^^
Chapter 1: Re Awakening
Koza, Okinawa:
“Thirty years… It was thirty years since the RED SHIELD initiated their counter attack against Cinq Flèches Group … Thirty years since the legendary Chiropteran queen Saya Otanashi killed her twin sister Diva… Ironically… for thirty years, the secret war between Human and Chiropterans has escalated to a degree to where the Chiropterans hunt in groups, causing mass hysteria in almost all parts of the globe. It seemed that the plan of one Amshel Goldsmith had succeeded, as most human beings infected with the delta 67 had mutated into these gruesome creatures that mindlessly slaughter human beings…”
With a sigh, he closed his Personal Digital Assistant, frowning at the short context that came from Joel’s Diary… The young man looked at the evening sky, noting the crescent moon clearly shining in the heavens above. With a sigh, he stretched his limbs from as he sat up from his position in the branches of the cherry tree that he was hiding from. Tonight was his shift to guard the shrine, knowing fully well that the 30 years of sleep of the Chiropteran queen Saya was over. The only question was, on what day she will wake up.
The young man looked up in the sky, the moon rimmed with an ominous red glow. All was silent, except for the whispering cherry blossoms which were being blown by a gentle wind… For some reason, he was feeling uneasy; this was supposed to be a normal guard duty for him, almost the most boring job assigned to him. But a feeling of unsettledness kept coming back to him, like a warning that something was about to happen.
“Tip, tap. Tip, tap”
Ears twitching, the young man scanned the crypt stairs, wondering who would be coming at the crypt this late at night.
“Tip, tap. Tip, tap”
Soon the person causing the sound came into view. A man in his 20’s was climbing the stairwell up to the shrine. Hair tied in a in a pony tail, a bandage right arm… The only confirmation he needed was the cello case the man was carrying was enough to convince him that today was the day… The red queen would finally awaken again.
Entrance to the Miyagusuko Crypt
Haji stared at the entrance of the crypt… It had been thirty years he had seen her… thirty years since they had admitted their feelings to each other… He had felt guilt on the day all the people close to Saya celebrate at the opening of the Omoro pub… He had seen her eyes filled with longing, betraying her mask of happiness as she talked to the members of Red Shield. It’d pained him to see her like that, cursing himself not being there beside her till she slowly sank to her eternal slumber, needing to hibernate for 30 years…
Sighing at the memories flooding back to him, he slowly opened his cello case and took out his valuable musical instrument. A thought suddenly crossed into his mind; the memory of the young chevalier Riku trying to learn how to play it. The kid was the only one he was closest to next to Saya, the gentle warmth of the kid was the thing that attracted Haji to him… Sadly, the poor kid had died in the arms of the chiropteran queen Diva, who’ve manage to spill some of her blood into Riku, thus resulting in turning the kid into a crystal statue.
Although the kid was lost, at least a part of Riku lived in the form of his daughters. The youngest of the twin seemed to have gotten her father’s gentle warmth, which resulted in her being a soft spoken yet popular young lady.
Unknowingly smiling at the memory, he started playing the melancholy Saya taught him a long time ago. His hands flowing on the on the instrument, he played with all his passion, the world turning to a stop to the music, as the floating melancholy echoing throughout the area; piercing the inner sanctum of the crypt…
Miyagusuko Crypt
She was dreaming…
She was staring at an endless field of roses, a slight wind blowing over the flowers, causing a swirl of red and blue petals that showered upon her… With the petals sticking out on her hair, her companion couldn’t help but giggle at the girl’s predicament.
“Mou, stop laughing already, it isn’t that funny…” Saya said as she pouted at her companion, trying to rake of the petals from her long hair. “Just help me out here already…” Saya muttered as she unsuccessfully removed the fragrant blooms from her hair.
Saya’s companion just continued to giggle as she stood up from the cherry tree she was leaning and walked towards her. She lovingly gazed at Saya as she slowly pulled out the remaining petals from her hair. “Your really easy to tease you know that? The petals really suit your black hair” The girl continued as Saya whirled around, giving her an evil glare. “Stay still or I won’t be able to get all the petals out.” The girl continued, seemingly unaffected by the girl’s red eyed glare. Slowly Saya went back to her original position and the girl continued to pluck the petals out of her hair in silence…
“You know…” The girl suddenly spoke, “That it’s nearly time for you to wake up right?” The girl softly asked as she brushed Saya’s hair.
Saya just gazed at the blooming roses, wondering if she wanted to wake up… “Yeah… it’s that time already… But I don’t want to wake up… I’m content in here, together with you…There’s nothing else waiting for me in the outside world” Saya replied to the girl, not wanting to leave the girl all alone again…
The girl simply sighed and faced Saya, a small smile in her face. “Ah, but there are people waiting you; your brother Kai, you’re Chevalier Haji,” Saya winced at that name, memories going through her head, “And of course… Don’t you want to meet your nieces? I’m sure my daughters would love to meet you.” Diva said to her twin sister, her glowing blue eyes staring at Saya’s red ones.
“What if they knew I killed you? What if they’ll hate me? Because of me, you brought them in the world without even them knowing who their mother is…” Saya suddenly shouted, tears streaming down her face… “Why couldn’t I have at least been killed with you? At least, I’ll be able to keep you company for all of eternity” Saya sobbed as she hung her head down, remembering the horror when their swords pierced into each other’s body… Only for her to see her beloved twin sister the only one being turned to crystal.
“Hush now Saya dear… You only did the thing that you thought was right. You have atoned for the sins I have made in the past. I’ve already forgiven you a long time ago…” Diva quietly spoke as she wrapped her arms around Saya, hugging her elder twin sister, trying to comfort her. “It isn’t really your fault… none of this is your fault…” Diva whispered in her sister’s ear, trying to sooth and calms her down.
“But I… But I…” Saya stammered only to be interrupted by Diva.
“No buts sister.” Diva eyed her sister carefully, thinking carefully how to send her sister willingly back to the real world. “Listen Saya… If you really want to make it up for me… Then watch over my daughters… I want someone to guide them in their life and the only person I can think is you… Seriously though, I doubt if Nathan can keep on eye on those two.” Diva laughed at the thought and was glad to see a smile grace Saya’s face.
“I suppose Nathan couldn’t possibly those two. I mean, they do have some parts of your personality that can make even the most serious chevalier go nuts.” Saya replied between her tears as the twin sisters laughed at the poor guy’s predicament.
Suddenly, a soft melancholy began to envelope the whole area… Saya’s eyes widened as she recognized the music playing…
“It’s the song I taught Haji how to play… Hearing it now means…” Saya softly said to her sister as she gazed at Diva with sad eyes.
“Yes, it’s time to face reality again. Promise me you’ll take care of my angels?” Diva softly asked Saya, who was slowly fading away in the dreamscape.
“I promise you Diva, I’ll be with them no matter what… I hope we’ll see each other again…” Saya said as she embraced her sister tightly, trying not to spill her tears again.
“We’ll see each other again… For now, keep your promise… I’ll be seeing you again dear sister” Diva whispered as Saya faded out of existence.
“Do you think Saya will keep her promise?” A young man’s voice spoke from behind the tree, hiding a smile from her…
“Of course she will… You should know, you considered her your older sister, neh Riku?” Diva answered, the tears she tried to hide finally came streaming down.
“Ah of course, how silly of me… You should stop crying, it doesn’t really suit you.” Riku said to her as he brushed away her tears. “Can you sing that song again for me, Diva” Riku asked politely as a smile sprouted in Diva’s face.
“Of course, I’d be delighted to do it” Diva replied as she sat down beside Riku and started singing, as the wind started swirling the red and blue petals around the couple.
Entrance to the Miyagusuko Crypt
The sudden sound of the crypt entrance made Haji stop playing the music. He watched as the entrance slowly open, watching it as it fully opened. His eyes slightly widened as he beheld his angel, she left the crypt and catch her as she nearly fell down; exhausted from the effort of opening the entrance. Quickly, Haji undid the bandage on his right arm, taking a silver dagger from the cello case and slit his arm. The blood from the self inflicted wound suddenly came rushing out as Haji held his hand in front of Saya. Without a word, Saya started drinking the blood, new life rushing inside her body. She finally stopped, her mouth from Haji’s arm, as the memory of their last meeting came into view. Saya was about ready to start berating her chevalier when she felt lightheaded and slowly fainted, the exhaustion from her awakening draining her of her reserves.
Haji could only gaze at her as slowly started wrapping up his arm and placed the cello back to its case. A look of happiness appeared in his face, as he carried his queen in her arms, sprouting wings from his back as he flew in the night, glad that his angel was back again. He hadn’t noticed the person watching over him, who had a slight smile on his face.
*Ring, ring*
Holding up his phone, Morphuse waited impatiently for the phone to be picked up from the other line.
“You know it’s late, right Yukikaze?” A female’s irritated voice could be heard over the line.
“I know, I do apologize about it. But I have some news that might interest you, Winterfall” Morphuse answered to her as he looked at snapshot he just taken earlier.
“It’d be better worth it or I’ll personally smash a frying pan on your head.” The girl said in an overly sweet voice dripping with venom. The young man winced and hoped that she’d be glad to hear this news.
“I’m at the family crypt right now” Morphuse sounded serious as he explained the events that just happened. “The Red Queen has finally awakened” Morphuse whispered over the phone, noting the girl took the news seriously.
The line was silent for a moment until the girl responded back, apparently uneasy…
“So she’s awake already huh? Do you plan on making our mistress about this news?” Winterfall asked, anxious about the whole scenario.
Morphuse Yukikaze looked at the crescent moon as a grin appeared on his face. “We’ll let the princess find the about the news herself. It’s not everyday you see the shock look of our mistress face she hears that her Aunt has rises up from her grave…” Morphuse said as he chuckled at the silly picture in his mind. “Anyway, I’ve got to go; I’ve got to submit this report back at the RED SHIELD headquarters. I trust I’ll be seeing you there?” Morphuse asked, adopting his serious voice again as he tucked the snapshots into his backpack.
“Yeah, I’ll also be reporting back… Just stay safe… Out of the chevaliers of our mistress… You’re the only one who blatantly defies her Morphuse… Do take care… even if she considers you a dear friend… The others won’t be considerate to you if you keep this up.” Winterfall whispered softly as she hanged up on him.
Morphuse just stared at the phone, grateful someone was watching his back. Taking one last look at the crypt, his eyes glowing in a crimson hue as he walked back towards the city, slowly fading into the shadows…
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 8:41 pm
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Hmmm...Very interesting so far. I don't read many fics about "30 years later" But I liked this one, Especially the little RikuxDiva tidbit.
Okay first off, I don't have many complaints about this chapter.
Only that, in the part where Hagi was thinking of Riku and such, I found you used the word "Kid" too much, and to be honest, I don't see Hagi saying the word "Kid"
Maybe you can switch that with "Child" like this:
Sighing at the memories flooding back to him, he slowly opened his cello case and took out his valuable musical instrument. A sudden thought suddenly crossed into his mind; the memory of the young chevalier Riku trying to learn how to play it. The child was the only one he was closest to next to Saya, the gentle warmth that Riku portrayed, was the thing that attracted Haji to him… Sadly, the poor child had died in the arms of the chiropteran queen Diva, who’ve manage to spill some of her blood into Riku, thus resulting in turning him into a crystal statue.
Although Riku was lost, at least a part of him lived in the form of his daughters. The youngest of the twin seemed to have gotten her father’s gentle warmth, which resulted in her being a soft spoken yet popular young lady.
Other then that I really like it, I'm really interested about these OCs, especially since the Riku Paragraph, you only mentioned ONE of the twins.
Do I smell a chevalier story? hmmm
Anyway your doing great so far, can't wait to see more *thumbs up*
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 11:11 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 2:04 am
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 5:26 pm
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 10:47 pm
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Well I am enamored with the storyline. Good job.
Onto my corrections (I do them because I would want someone to do it for me if I still wrote) You don't have to take any of these if you don't want to.
Quote: With a sigh, he stretched his limbs from as he sat up from his position in the branches of the cherry tree that he was hiding from.
Quote: The only question was ; on what day she will wake up.
Quote: But a feeling of unease kept coming back to him, like a warning that something was about to happen.
Quote: Sadly, the poor kid had died in the arms of the chiropteran queen Diva, who’d managed to spill some of her blood into Riku, thus resulting in turning the kid into a crystal statue.
Quote: Unknowingly smiling at the memory, he started playing the melancholic song Saya taught him a long time ago. His hands flowing on the on the instrument, he played with all his passion . The world coming to a stop from the music, as the floating melancholy music echoed throughout the area and piercing the inner sanctum of the crypt…
Quote: “Mou, stop laughing already, it isn’t that funny…” Saya said as she pouted at her companion, trying to rake of f the petals from her long hair.
Quote: Saya’s companion just continued to giggle as she stood up from the cherry tree she was leaning on and walked towards her. She lovingly gazed at Saya as she slowly pulled out the remaining petals from her hair. “Your really easy to tease, you know that? The petals really suit your black hair”
Quote: The girl simply sighed and faced Saya, a small smile upon her face. “Ah, but there are people waiting for you; your brother Kai, your Chevalier Haji,”
Quote: Only for her to see that her beloved twin sister alone being turned to crystal.
Quote: “I suppose Nathan couldn’t possibly question those two.
Quote: Suddenly, the soft melancholic song began to envelop the whole area…
Quote: “Of course, I’d be delighted to do it” Diva replied as she sat down beside Riku and began singing, as the wind started swirling the red and blue petals around the couple.
Quote: The young man looked up in the sky, the moon rimmed with an ominous red glow. All was silent, except for the whispering cherry blossoms that were being blown by a gentle wind…
Quote: Although the kid was lost, at least a part of Riku lived in the form of his daughters. The youngest of the twin seemed to have gotten her father’s gentle warmth, which resulted in her being a soft-spoken yet popular young lady.
Quote: The sudden sound of the crypt entrance made Haji stop playing the music. He watched as the entrance slowly began to open, then watching it as it fully opened. His eyes slightly widened as he beheld his angel, she left the crypt and he caught her as she nearly fell down; exhausted from the effort of opening the entrance. Quickly, Haji undid the bandage on his right arm, taking a silver dagger from the cello case and slit his arm. The blood from the self-inflicted wound suddenly came rushing out as Haji held his hand in front of Saya.
Quote: Haji could only gaze at her as he slowly started wrapping up his arm and placed the cello back into its case. A look of happiness appeared in his face, as he carried his queen in his arms. Sprouting wings from his back as he flew in the night, glad that his angel was back again. He hadn’t noticed the person watching over him, who had a slight smile on his face.
Quote: Morphuse answered to her as he looked at a snapshot he just taken earlier.
Quote: Do you plan on making our mistress question about this news?”
Quote: It’s not everyday you see the shock ed look of our mistress ' face , when she hears that her Aunt has rises up from her grave…”
strike = leave out
bold = correction/add-ins
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Posted: Tue Dec 18, 2007 2:57 pm
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:14 am
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Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:01 pm
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Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 5:14 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 7:20 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 4:46 am
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Posted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 3:38 am
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Posted: Mon May 25, 2009 12:12 am
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:28 am
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