Grammar Nazis Unite! Share your misspelling horror stories!

[Celestiara]

As a beta for several Internet authors, and a dedicated reader of works on fanfiction .net, as well as Portkey .org and other such websites, I've seen my share of blatant typos, as well as many demonstrations of grammatical and orthographic errors.

But what really bugs me is when books published by respected and well-known publishing companies don't catch obvious errors.

Care to share any that bugged you? Or quite possibly ruined a page/chapter/entire novel for you?

Go ahead. Rant all you like. I'll listen. I'll sympathize. I'll possibly one-up you with some of my own.

After all, when the people who know grammar refuse to defend it, it will surely die. Feel free to shudder at the very thought.  

[Minerva the Whore 4 Books]

In novels I mostly see typos rather than actual errors, for the majority of book editors are good because they're grammar-obsessed like us. Of course, I can often peruse a book and say, "A comma belongs here, here and here."

Internet authors and students on the other hand... gonk They constantly confuse verb tenses as well as they're/there/their and were/was. I didn't believe it was possible, though three times in the past fortnight I have seen people put "past" instead of "passed." It made me die a little on the inside. emo

Not to brag, but I am a fantastic editor. The problem is that I despise doing it with a burning passion. Proofreading my own work is fine, however - because I'm such a perfectionist - it takes me FOREVER to critique someone else's work, especially since most people cannot spell, have no idea where commas belong and should never attempt the semi-colon. I know from experience of being a fan fiction beta-reader (Just like you! razz ) and editing my creative writing class' short, but not short enough, stories that - even though I'm skilled at it - being an editor is NOT what I want to do.

More power to you, Celestiara, for sticking with being a beta! Do you enjoy it, or is it as tedious to you as it is to me?  

[Celestiara]

I've also seen many mixed up forms of homophones (they're actually the most common sort of typo I find) but my favorite recent one, by far, is where someone wrote 'hole heartily' when they obviously meant 'wholeheartedly'--I wonder if they knew it was one word? I've also seen the 'passed/past' error quite often--though for me, they use passed when they should have used past. I mean, I know homophones are tricky, but come on...

I occasionally copy some pages of fanfiction from the Internet (though I do not use them for personal gain) and go crazy with the Microsoft Word editor features whenever I get bored. I have whole files of edited fics that I wish I could send to the writers (anonymously, of course) with an offer to beta for them. Again, I do not use these as my own, they are merely for reference, and to help me stay in practice. Also, I enjoy the ability to read the 'clean' version of fics I like.

I also beta for my roommate (she does the same for me) and we enjoy tearing each other's fics apart before posting. Writing the original always takes less time than any one of the rounds of revisions.  

[NightIntent]

Gahhh, I hate when published books have typos and grammar errors! It's just not professional! This one book I read, Warprize by I-forget-who, had so many grammatical errors! I don't even remember most of them. One that I do was using the term breach (as in breach birth) instead of breech (as in breeching a wall, which was the sense it was supposed to be used). Or maybe it was the other way around. It's late and I'm tired. It was awful. And the story wasn't even good enough to make up for it. I was extremely annoyed. I can't even pick the book up again, because the thought of running into the grammatical errors make me cringe just that much.

It's understandable in non-professional online works, such as fan fiction. A lot of people don't get others to edit they're works--I know I don't/didn't. But really. Books. Pulished books. D: It's just not rite. Editors are highered because of their editing prowess and attention to detail. Wons that get stuff like that wrong should be fired.

Now, there are five grammar/spelling errors in that second paragraph (and yes, they're on purpose). Someone point 'em out! XD  

[emeralddarkness]

Mistakes: 'they're' instead of their, 'Pulished' instead of published, 'rite' instead of right, 'highered' instead of hired, 'Wons' instead of ones. Guh. Don't do that; even KNOWING that they're contrived they still make me shudder.

I'm not as big on spelling as some people (because, despite the fact that I devour books at a sometimes alarming rate, I somehow don't manage to soak up the spelling of words sometimes. Somehow. Don't as me how) but I am TOUGH about it being readable and pretty and things sounding right. DX Critiques by me are always kind of scary, actually, as I rip into EVER little tiny detail.

One time someone asked me to critique a character profile that was maybe a thousand words long or so, though I don't know even about that. Actually, I kind of doubt it. What I ended up writing for them was over eight thousand words long. Mind you, it NEEDED that level of detail. It was kind of terrifying. I'm generally not as tough on MYSELF as I am on others who ask for reviews/critiques, actually, because I don't usually go searching my own stuff for that level of detail because... you know... it's my stuff. Most of it makes sense to ME. D:

Homophones that people get wrong are actually a pet-peeve of mine, like the their/they're/there thingie that somehow people can't manage to keep STRAIGHT. I'm never quite sure how, that. Then/than, however, are pure evil. I couldn't keep them straight for the longest time and now that I've finally gotten things sorted out in my head I'm finding myself occasionally overcompensating and putting than instead of then, rather than the reverse. Also a pet peeve are people who won't bother with punctuation at ALL. I mean, you only find it in fanfics (BADFIC. BAAAAAADFIC.) I... erm... hope, but you'll occasionally be browsing one of the more popular archives and find something like

Quote:

hi kagome inuyahs said hi inuyasha kikoy said why r you triying to kill me inuyasha said i hate you and love kagome, get away kikoy screamed at them and threw magic at them but kagome summoned a shield that kaede had taut her and kikyo couldn't do anything so she ran away why did you like her kagome said inuyasha said i only like you shes stupid that madekagome laugh because she was happy and then they went to find her only she had joined with naraku just like she always would beause shes STUPID

I have literally found a fanfic like that. Only... more of it. It darn near made me scream and run away.

I don't CARE if it IS web-published, you should at least have the common sense to run it through a spell check first and make sure that it's READABLE in other ways. I'm willing to forgive some errors if the plot is REALLY well done, but it's such a turn-off for a story....

My one guilty habit is probably the overuse of commas, which I was basically cured of in 9th grade but which has been creeping back into my writing...

sad  

[Minerva the Whore 4 Books]

Ah, Celestiara, you actually enjoy the editing? Well, it's good that some people out there that are good at it like doing it. 3nodding I edit some of my favourite fan fics that I save to my computer so that I can reread them again whenever I want. When I reread them I can enjoy it without the mistakes, though my faves have very few errors anyway.

lol This reminds me of a fan fic I wrote entitled The Colossal Comedy of Cliches that I intentionally filled with common, "cliche" grammatical errors. Emerald, if u eva reed it ur sole will probly wither away too nothin mrgreen  

[Kahahana]

Just for the reading pleasure of all of you, let me show you a little something I found just two days ago in the Fanfiction section of my dear WF.

IN TO DEEP

I NEVA THOUGHT THIS HAPPEN IN REAL LYFE...I MEAN SURE IN MOVIES BUT, WTF. I KNO YOU PROBABLY WANT TO KNO WAT IM TALKIN BOUT..
IT ALL HAPPEN AT THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER...
ME AND MY HOME-GURLZ SHA,STAR,JAH,SHAWTII, AND MY TWIN ANGEL HEARD ABOUT THIS CONTEST ON THE RADIO. IT SAID IF U THINK U ARE FEARLESS, SPEND A NIGHT IN MY MANSION. WELL ME I THOUGHT IT WAS A BAD IDEA, BUT THE GURLS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AND I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE A LONELY SUMMER SO WENT ALONG WITH IT.
WE CALLED IN AND SURPRISINGLY WE WON,THEY ACTED LIKE WE WAS THE ONLY ONES WHO CALLED IN. I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE FISHY BUT NO LISTEN TO ME, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN WRONG IN THE PAST, BUT THIS TIME I REALLY FEEL RIGHT..*FLASHBACK*

I BLINKED MY EYES AND THEN I REMEMBER THAT I WAS RUNNING. I SPED UP AND FOUND A ROOM. I LOCKED THEN DOOR AND TRIED TO CATCH MY BREATH BUT HE WAS ABOUT TO BREAK DOWN THE DOOR. I WENT THROUGH THE SECRET PASSAGE WAY..



AUTHORZ NOTE:IF U DONT LIKE IT SAY I NEED TO IMPROVE DONT GO ALL OUT AND SAY MY s**t SUCK..LOL HOPE U LIKED THE FIRST PART


___________________________________________________


I WALKED THREW THE PASSAGE LOOKING BAKK EVERY FEW MINUTES.I FINALLY GOT TO THE OTHER ROOM. I STRUGGLED TO FIND A LIGHT, THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD A LIGHTER. I FLICKERED IT ON AND SAW A HORRIBLE SITE. THERE WERE MY FRIENDS, THEY LOOKED DEAD."THERE NOT DEAD, THEY'RE SIMPLELY IN A TRANS",A VOICE SAID FROM BEHIND. BEFORE I COULD TURN, I WAS TOO IN A TRANS.

[I in no way claim the above as my own work.]

NightIntent

It's understandable in non-professional online works, such as fan fiction. A lot of people don't get others to edit they're their works--I know I don't/didn't. But really. Books. Pulished Published books. D: It's just not rite right. Editors are highered hired because of their editing prowess and attention to detail. Wons Ones that get stuff like that wrong should be fired.

There you go, NI. I cringed before I read that it was on purpose.

ORBS!!!  

[NightIntent]

XDDD

Well, now if I ever want to scare/creep you all out/scare everyone away, I know exactly what to do: Edit all my major posts and new posts to have poor grammar.  

[Celestiara]

Sobs with relief. And I thought no-one would share my feelings on this. I'm so happy!
Okay. Moment over.

By the way, anyone else not a big fan of netspeak? Oh, I'm sorry: ntspk?
I'll listen to rants about that, too.
SAVE THE VOWELS!!!  

[NightIntent]

Heh. There's a semi-official rule in this guild about chatspeak. It's not allowed. XD

Unless I took that down in the last rule overhaul.... I don't think so, but.... *Runs to check*

Edit: Yep~
4.) Please at least try to use good grammar. Netspeak/chatspeak is frowned upon.
XD  

[GuardianDragonsSpirit]

Chatspeak/Netspeak/L337 are the banes of my existance!!!

I was helping to start a guild, and got so p***** off at the other two mods that I sent them corrected versions of their posts via pm AND profile comment. I then proptly vacated the account, which my cousin took over and proptly got herself banned on for botting...

The one was using BAD chatspeak ("good" chatspeak is at least easily comprehended!) while the other was using BAD chatspeak IN COMBINATION WITH L337!!!

It took forever, since they each had over 150 posts on the guild in two days...

But I did it...

And got LOADS of gold...

I transferred it when I vacated the account...

Anywho (sorry, bad habit, but I can't kick the "anywho"'s...) I am a bit of a grammar nazi, though not as bad as many. I am a staunch supporter of any "save the vowels", "save the commas", "save the grammar", and "save our eyes" groups. I am the one that everybody in my english class loves/hates. They hate it when I SHRED their papers, often lengthening them by at least half in the process of adding more/better words and phrases, and they have to do a lot of editing work. On the other hand, they love me when they get A's. XD

P.S. Though I am a stickler for grammar, I love emoticons!  

[Celestiara]

This post is to explain the vote topic, since I've gotten a few 'who is she?' votes.

Lynne Truss is the author of one of my favorite books, "Eats, Shoots, and Leaves"--basically it's a book about proper grammar, and contains rather humorous accounts of grammar horror stories, as well as a practical guide on how to use good grammar, and what happens when it's not practiced.

For instance:

Woman, without her man, is nothing.
Woman: without her, man is nothing.

You'll notice the punctuation is the only difference between the two, yet it changes the whole meaning.

I highly recommend the book to all self-proclaimed Grammar Nazis, and I guarantee you'll bust up laughing many times.

I actually meant to have "I carry 'this apostrophe is not necessary' stickers wherever I go" as an option for the vote, but oh well...

Oh, before I forget: Lynne Truss is a British author, so some of the rules mentioned in her book are not the same as American rules of grammar, but I still recommend it.

Seriously. Buy it. Read it. Embrace it. Share it with your friends. SPREAD GOOD GRAMMAR TO ALL THE WORLD!!!

And let me know if you decide to manufacture aforementioned
'apostrophe' stickers. I would SO buy some.  

[Kahahana]

Woman, without her man, is nothing.
Woman: without her, man is nothing.

This is a very predominantly female guild. And I love it.  

[NightIntent]

Kahahana

This is a very predominantly female guild. And I love it.

There used to be a few more guys. Maybe all the girls scared them away? XD  

[Kahahana]

NightIntent

Kahahana

This is a very predominantly female guild. And I love it.

There used to be a few more guys. Maybe all the girls scared them away? XD

This may be true.