FRIENDS: Are they Toxic or True?

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What’s it for?

Friend ship advice. What’s a good friend, what’s a bad friend.  

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Let’s keep it healthy



A healthy friendship should really lift your mood, your self esteem, mental & physical health. They should support your career choice and improve your job performance. Healthy friends should support your relationship with others (ex: your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/ or child.  

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Best Buds





This friend(s) are the closest to you. These people (person) are VERY close to you. They accept you for who you are and they understand you. You feel that you can share you secrets with them and also rely on them. They have a mutual empathy, history, and they are easy to talk too. You see them/or talk to them often. They would almost do anything for you (depending on the situation).
Let’s say that one of you moved away. The both of you would try to keep in contact as much as possible.
Many People don’t have close friends like these. They usually have a circle of close friends.  

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It’s all Good

These friends are usually a group of selective friends. The degree of trust is less than best friends. Either because you haven’t shown/or earned the trust or they don’t show the appropriate judgment or understanding. They are someone you spend time with, hobbies, and actives. They are people you socialize with but you see them less than you see your best friend.  

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Keep it Casual

This kind of friendship are people who could be your neighbor, co-worker, or what ever. You share a specific interest with them. You wouldn’t invite them to your wedding or over for dinner.
Let’s say you get a different job, that friendship will end as soon as you end the job. You just share interests, actives, or etc.  

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The Playmate

These are friends who are single and share activities & leisure that you do. So with these friends you don’t feel lonely. Playmates also help structure your time and be company to the movies & etc. They also introduce you to activities, club, and classes that you wouldn’t known on your own.  

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Like em’ Feisty?

These feisty friends encourage you to get what your entitled to. These friends help you a lot with important problems in your life.  

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So Spiritual

These spiritual friends are really deep and also have something wise to say. They can be a great comfort. They’ve can help you to get God into your life (if your religious) and show you how God is working your life.  

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TOXIC IMPACT exclaim

These friends may stand by you but yet make adjustments to a separations or a divorce, either way it’s difficult. Some friends can be all these, some can only be one. This is how you can tell if they are TOXIC to you.


1. They are a downer.

People who keep saying “oh this is so awful” These people are chronically depressed. They are always hard on you. This doesn’t mean that you should drop all these friends, just be aware of this friend.


2. They are angry.

Feisty friends can have a downside. Someone who is mad at your lover during a hard time & who feels that your split is almost a violation to her. They can upset you unnecessarily. This one woman told the author of a book “ I occasionally think I’d better not call one friend because she’s going to go ballistic when she hears what my ex-husband wants to do. I don’t want to get the riled up”


3. They are bitter.

These bitter friends are negative influences because they’re stuck in resentment about what happened to them and for some reason can’t move on, and/or they avoid the processing it. They don’t learn how to “divorce” themselves” - who they really are & what their strengths are. They drag you down to their level.


4. They can be pushy.

They try to push you into a relationship or whatever the issue is. If they try to push you into a relationship they usually say “What will help you through this is to find somebody” or something like that. Since you self-esteem is low (or maybe not), you may feel that you have to prove yourself that you can still attract men/woman. The Best thing for self-esteem is a new relationship, but it isn’t a good idea to start one to soon. If you get into a relationship way to fast, you might repeat the same mistake. So take time to find out what happened and come to terms with your own part in the breakup.


5. They are projectors.

They project their issues on you, which can add to a break up. They always seem to come to you and sometimes you have your own issues to deal with and they just add to it and that causes stress and soon a break up of a friendship or a relationship.



6. They are always the victim.

They don’t help you solve your own issue & problems. They tell you what to do than drawing out your own plan or allowing you to have felling & express your feeling in a healthy manner. The way to stop being a victim is to find your own solutions and realize that you have the ability to survive your problem on your own.  

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Levels of Work-related Friendships

Level 1:

This is an intimate friendship that involves a personal confides. You trust the person. If you have problems at work - you can speak freely. You probably socialize outside of the work area & may welcome them to your family.


Level 2:

You socialize outside of the work area, but there is very little discussion. You feel comfortable with them & trust comes secondary. You share interests, like movies or you like each other, which holds you together.


Level 3:

The people are friendly during particular projects. A certain situation brings you together. You discover your compatible & grow to like each other.  

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Romance at work !?!?!?

( Random facts)

- 50% of women said they like to flirt with the opposite sex.

- 76% of men said they like to flirt with the opposite sex.

- 46% of women said that they become sexual partners.

- 66% of men said that they become sexual partners  

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QUIZ exclaim

Do you have a TOXIC friendship!?

1) In this friendship I find that

a. One of us does most of the giving and the other does most of the taking
b. One us somewhat more than the other.
c. Give & take is balanced over the long haul.

2) When I spend time with my friend I

a. Often come away feeling angry & depressed.
b. Sometimes I have a good time.
c. Usually have a good time.

3) My friend tends to

a. Try to change who I am.
b. Try to change certain things about me.
c. Accepts me for who I am.

4) If I had a life-threatening health problem; My friend would

a. Withdraw
b. Try to help minimally.
c. Provide the essential support.

5) When I get off the phone with my friend

a. Often feel insecure.
b. Sometimes doubt myself.
c. Usually feel affirmed & valued.

6) If I ask for advice on a romance or work problem, my friend is likely to

a. Berate me for getting into the situation in the first place.
b. Let her own feelings on the subject get in the way.
c. Give helpful, objective counsel.

7) My friend influences me to

a. Engage in behavior that can get me into trouble.
b. Staying in situations that I should no longer be in.
c. Stretch my potential.

8. I can candid (prank) with my friend
a. Rarely
b. Sometimes.
c. Usually.

9) If my friend & I feel differently about the merits of a play we've seen

a. One of us gets annoyed that the other doesn't endorse her/his view.
b. One of us changes the subject to avoid disagreement.
c. We hear each other out & accept that "Some people like vanilla, and
some like chocolate.

10) I feel mistreated by my friend.

a. Often.
b. Occasionally.
c. Rarely to never.

11) When I show my friend my new home, she/he is likely to

a. say "Ohhh......It's so small."
b. say "It's great, but why did you paint the walls green?"
c. Appear with a smile and a bottle of champagne to toast my new
home.

12) My friend resents it when I spend time with other pals.

a. Often - and even when if invited along.
b. Sometimes.
c. Rarely to never.

13. If I ask my friend to keep a secret, I know she/he will

a. Probably blab it to others.
b. Probably tell her husband or close friend.
c. Keep it to her/him self.  

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Answers to the Quiz above


If you've mostly answered C, then you have a healthy friendship. biggrin
If you've mostly answered A's, you have a toxic relationship. burning_eyes
If you've answered an equal mix of A's, B's, and C's suggests that your friendship could be more satifying - and inproved. stare  

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Tensions - How friends help.

Friends help you lead a fullfilling single life & enhance your personal & professional growth. Some times life changes and other factors get in the way of a friendship.  

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Making Your friends.

The best idea is to try to be open to a range of friendships. If you expect super closeness from a person that isn’t a best bud, you might get disappointed. You might expect little or nothing , you might wind up to close. Try to communicate as much as possible.