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 Posted: Wed Jan 07, 2009 5:22 pm
Hi, I'm trying to correct a returned essay, and something I wrote just doesn't sound right to me. Well, seem right- It seems like a run-on sentence to me.
Here's the part with which I'm having the most trouble:
"The book takes place around World War 2, when a group of young boys are stranded on a deserted island; they struggle to survive, find rescue, and stay civilized all while fighting their primal urges which are threatening to take control."
That is all one sentence. Can someone please help me get all the commas (and anything else) situated? Thanks a 10^9!
(the assignment is due next Monday by the way... just in case you were wondering)
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Posted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 6:35 pm
I'll try..
"The book takes place around World War 2, when a group of young boys are stranded on a deserted island; they struggle to survive, find rescue, and stay civilized all while fighting their primal urges, which are threatening to take control."
That's the best I can do, the change is bolded.
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:06 pm
Nothing particularly wrong with your sentence, but I would just replace the semi-colon with a period, it's an easy fix.
"The book takes place around World War 2, when a group of young boys are stranded on a deserted island. The young boys struggled to survive, stay civilized while fighting their primal urges --which were threatening to take control-- and find rescue."
I also made some unnecessary changes that I thought might make it flow better.
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:10 pm
Is it "Lord of the Flies" ?
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Posted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:12 pm
magnoboy Is it "Lord of the Flies" ?
Sounds like it.
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Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 5:08 pm
It sounds like Lord of the Flies to me. World War 2 should be written, World War II, although this information will not help you with your paper now.
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