Gaming Hell.

[Waynebrizzle]

http://www.gameplayer.com.au/gp_documents/090419.aspx?Page=2

This article depicts a hell made just for gamers. There are a lot of things in this article that gamers are usually at least annoyed by, like the Y axis thing.

My personal favorite design choice:

Quote:

In-game menu music will be the theme song from Street Fighter IV, repeated ad nausem. You know the one: that pansy boy band jingle where the eunuch sings about being ‘indestructible’.

I CAN FEEL IT COMIN' OVER ME.  

[Owwin]

At least hell has games?  

[Waynebrizzle]

Owwin

At least hell has games?

If that's what you'd call them.  

[Owwin]

Waynebrizzle

Owwin

At least hell has games?

If that's what you'd call them.

SOme of the stuff isn't too different than real life, and the load times in months don't seem that bad in eternity, or if you have thousands of games loading at once. You could get around a lot of it. Then again I am sure hell would only allow one system per guy.

I think I will watch a movie, or not visit gamer hell.  

[Allegro]

They call gaming hell "WoW."  

[Trenn Flashkill]

I love Hell.  

[The Awkwardest Turtle]

Trenn Flashkill

I love Hell.

THIS JUST IN

REASON FOR TRENN'S ABSENCE EXPLAINED

TRENN IS SECRETLY SATAN IN DISGUISE

TRENN WAS UNAVAILABLE FOR COMMENT, AS PER USUAL.  

[Trenn Flashkill]

But I'm right he--  

[Waynebrizzle]

Hey get on MSN  

[Xilo The Odd]

why wayne. why should he get on MSN  

[Sir Codin]

This one is my favorite:

Quote:

- All of the above is moot, because our Satan 3000 console has the disc access noise of a blunt chainsaw attempting to hump a megaphone. That said, it is noticeably quieter than your average Xbox 360.

I have to agree. It may be a cool system, but the 360 runs like a damn jet engine.  

[5ir Psycho 5exy]

Lord of Armageddon

This one is my favorite:

Quote:

- All of the above is moot, because our Satan 3000 console has the disc access noise of a blunt chainsaw attempting to hump a megaphone. That said, it is noticeably quieter than your average Xbox 360.

I have to agree. It may be a cool system, but the 360 runs like a damn jet engine.

The one right after it was my favorite. xd

Quote:

To combat this incidental noise, all our games feature misspelled subtitles that have been supplied by the finest minds on the Internet. Expect to read such classics as “achivmant unlokced” and “gayme ova noob b***h”.

Edit:

Quote:

- For all our third person games the protagonist will have chiseled, glistening arse cheeks like Old snake in MGS4. Crouching will make him drop into a suggestive doggy style position ala Lara Croft and our games have a buttload of crawl space vents ...

That doesn't sound like hell for Cookie at all.  

[KyuubiNaruto4]

Quote:

No matter how many millennia you spend honing your reflexes, formulating tactics, and memorizing item locations these little shits will always be better than you at multiplayer.

Quote:

Similar to the Xbox LIVE experience your headset will be a sounding board for the worst 13 year old wankers we have holidaying in hell. When you’re winning at the game, they’ll hassle you. When you’re losing at the game, they’ll hassle you. Also, in the interest of player immersion, when they teabag your corpse on-screen, you’ll get tea bagged for realsies off-screen.

Isn't that the truth?  

[GrowingDandelion]

I think the ten second lag is what will send me over the edge. If you hear any overly loud swearing down there, chanses are it will be me.  

[CYBERPUNK PANDA]

Allegro

They call gaming hell "WoW."

if your resorted to pissing ina two litre bottle because a raid is more important then your bodily functions...yea World Of Whorecraft is hell

It's like anyother MMORPG you've ever played for free.except you have to buy "time cards"