[ADVICE??] Wiccan Teen, Christian Parent.

[KillerQueen Bash]

Well, yesterday I was made to go out with my grandma's friend. Her friend was "Wiccan" at one point, but had been Christian before and during. She still believed that Jesus was her savior and all of that. She did spells after learning hardly anything, and put her taproot into the ground and such. She said that she felt her spine move when she put down her taproot and felt a presence go in. She said at first she thought it was earth energy, but now she knows it was Satan she was letting in, because Satan lives under ground. So she says that she was lying in bed and felt something tickle her feet and play with her hair. Then she heard a man's voice say "If you want all these things you did spells for, you will service the devil and have to entertain spirits." So, she stops being "Wiccan" and starts being Christian again, but I believe she was never Wiccan in the first place if she believes in Satan.
So, today I told my mom I'm not going to church. I'm sick and tired of being forced to participate in their mass. I do NOT believe in what they believe in, and no amount of brainwashing will ever change that.
So, my mom comes in and asks if I got anything from my grandma's friend. I told her grandma gave her friend all the money to use while we were out, but that wasn't what she meant. I explained to her that I do not believe in Satan, and I believe in the God and Goddess, and nothing will change my loyalty to them. She then got upset and told me that she didn't want to lose me to Satan. I simply told her that I'm not going any where, and that I do not believe in Satan because he is simply the Christian scapegoat for all of their troubles and "sins." She said that she believed in Satan, and that my religion is dangerous. I explained that it is not dangerous because there is no Satan involved, but kept my mouth shut about Satan being based off of the Horned God in order to make pagan religions seem evil. I told her that I believe what I believe, and church and nagging will not change that. She said that she wants to send me away somewhere where they can get through to me. I'm a decent child, but if they try to send me away, I will NOT be cooperative.

So, questions:
Should I go to church and be cooperative, or should I refuse and stand up for myself?
How do I get her to understand that Christianity is not the only "good" religion, and that Wicca is not evil?

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[Violet Song jat Shariff]

It is possible to go to church and not actively participate. In the few occasions I go into a church (for weddings or funerals) I don't throw a fit about it. I realize that going to a church and listening aren't going to quake my faith. I actually tend to enjoy the ritual 3nodding .

Have you considered the possibility to just, you know, abide by your mother's wishes and wait until you're out on your own to learn and practice? I'm sure your mom isn't acting this way just to be a raging b***h to you. I'm sure she believes she is doing what is in your best interest. Paganism isn't going anywhere. It'll still be there when you're out on your own and you can do as you please.

Also, the grandmother's friend's experiences sound...odd. I would love to see Biblical citation that Hell = underground.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

They force me to participate. I'd have no problem if they'd just let me sit in the back and let me be. Today I didn't want to stand for their prayer, and my grandparents yelled at me in the middle of church. It would be fine with me if I was not forced to actively participate. I've explained that I'm not comfortable participating several times in the past three years.
I'm not currently practicing. I meditate and honor the God and Goddess. I pray. No big rituals or any spells of any kind. She has a problem with what I personally believe, although it will not change on her account. Tonight we're having a big talk; me, my grandparents, and my mother. If I'm not on for a while, I've probably been grounded for my religious beliefs.

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[Violet Song jat Shariff]

KillerQueen Bash

They force me to participate. I'd have no problem if they'd just let me sit in the back and let me be. Today I didn't want to stand for their prayer, and my grandparents yelled at me in the middle of church. It would be fine with me if I was not forced to actively participate. I've explained that I'm not comfortable participating several times in the past three years.

Standing to pray isn't really actively participating though.
Actually praying is.

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I'm not currently practicing. I meditate and honor the God and Goddess. I pray. No big rituals or any spells of any kind. She has a problem with what I personally believe, although it will not change on her account. Tonight we're having a big talk; me, my grandparents, and my mother. If I'm not on for a while, I've probably been grounded for my religious beliefs.

I would say you'd probably be grounded for being disrespectful and insubordinate.
At this point I have to wonder how much of a point you make about your "personal" beliefs. I get the impression you're making this harder for yourself than it actually needs to be.  

[mechanical kitsy]

Violet Song jat Shariff

KillerQueen Bash

They force me to participate. I'd have no problem if they'd just let me sit in the back and let me be. Today I didn't want to stand for their prayer, and my grandparents yelled at me in the middle of church. It would be fine with me if I was not forced to actively participate. I've explained that I'm not comfortable participating several times in the past three years.

Standing to pray isn't really actively participating though.
Actually praying is.

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I'm not currently practicing. I meditate and honor the God and Goddess. I pray. No big rituals or any spells of any kind. She has a problem with what I personally believe, although it will not change on her account. Tonight we're having a big talk; me, my grandparents, and my mother. If I'm not on for a while, I've probably been grounded for my religious beliefs.

I would say you'd probably be grounded for being disrespectful and insubordinate.
At this point I have to wonder how much of a point you make about your "personal" beliefs. I get the impression you're making this harder for yourself than it actually needs to be.

yea i agree.
play along, play make believe, just make them happy. seriously, things will be much better for you.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

I'm very stubborn about this, but I'll try to behave myself a little. I am deeply rooted in my beliefs, and my mom seems to make it a point to offend me. Being quiet about it means that I don't really believe it, in her eyes.

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[Violet Song jat Shariff]

KillerQueen Bash

I'm very stubborn about this, but I'll try to behave myself a little. I am deeply rooted in my beliefs, and my mom seems to make it a point to offend me. Being quiet about it means that I don't really believe it, in her eyes.

But if they are your "personal" beliefs, why does it matter if your mother equates silence with not believing? That's what I don't quite understand. And being stubborn doesn't mean being disrespectful or arguing tooth-and-nail.
How does she go out of her way to offend you? Perhaps she isn't trying to actually offend you, but rather is speaking from her own theological viewpoint?  

[KillerQueen Bash]

She'll turn on Sabrina the Teenage Witch and be like "See, it isn't a religion" and things like that.
If she thinks that I don't believe, she'll further force me into Christianity, just as strongly. Either way, she'll try to force me in. I think I'd rather be forced in with my beliefs known than without her understanding.

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[Violet Song jat Shariff]

KillerQueen Bash

She'll turn on Sabrina the Teenage Witch and be like "See, it isn't a religion" and things like that.
If she thinks that I don't believe, she'll further force me into Christianity, just as strongly. Either way, she'll try to force me in. I think I'd rather be forced in with my beliefs known than without her understanding.

Well, she's right; what's portrayed on Sabrina isn't a religion. I wouldn't say anyone who practices using Sabrina the Teenage Witch as a guide is practicing a faith, much less a type of witchcraft. So I don't see how her saying that is offensive.

See, and again I have to ask, why does what she think matter so much to your personal beliefs? Let her try. If she can still manage to strong-arm you into Christianity then I have to wonder what kind of roots you had in your faith to begin with. Since you've said you are strongly rooted in your beliefs, then your mom trying to take you back into the fold shouldn't really have an effect. It can be annoying, yes, but that's it.

Trying to make her understand and your beliefs known at every turn is what I think is making this situation so much harder than it needs to be. You already know your mother is not accepting of it and apparently has no wish to learn more. And by bringing it up constantly and trying to force her to accept it, well, isn't very productive and after a while doesn't seem much different than what she is seems to be trying to do to you.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

As I said, I tend to be very stubborn. I do not use Sabrina the Teenage Witch as a model, but I do love the show. The problem is that she uses it as a model of what she thinks my religion is. Sabrina's magick is purely the fictional kind, and not spiritual in any way. My mom cannot seem to realize this.
My mom and I have always been VERY close. For a long time, we only had each other, and it's still much like that today. She used to have complete and total acceptance of me, wholly as I am, but that complete and total acceptance is gone. I feel a bit...empty without it. Through my entire life, the only one who I could count on, the only one who never hurt me, was my mother. She fully accepted me, and now that acceptance is gone. If my own mother, after all that we've been through, can't accept and respect me, who will?

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[meow_musicbox]

I've grown up in a catholic family with southern baptist grandparents, when I was about 11 I told my mother that I wasn't a christian and she could not change my views. It took a few years of her annoying me but no she just over looks the fact. Now my grandparnets, well.. they are strict on their religion. I love my grandmother more than anyone, im closer to her than my own mother so I told her. She accepts it. Bottem line is, if you dont make a big deal out of it then it wont be a big deal. As for the respect part, be yourself and dont act. If you act people will pounce on you, unless your a good actor and they cant tell. I am someone that acts differently around everyone but I always respect them. Just because you decide to become wiccian doesnt mean you shoud disrespect another person's god or goddess.  

[Violet Song jat Shariff]

KillerQueen Bash

As I said, I tend to be very stubborn. I do not use Sabrina the Teenage Witch as a model, but I do love the show. The problem is that she uses it as a model of what she thinks my religion is. Sabrina's magick is purely the fictional kind, and not spiritual in any way. My mom cannot seem to realize this.

I know it's not an accurate depiction of any kind of magic.
And you still haven't really answered the question of why her view of your personal beliefs is so important. Perhaps they aren't really "personal" beliefs? If she wants to think that magic is turning people into frogs, how much impact does it really have on your faith? You know what your religion is and isn't.

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My mom and I have always been VERY close. For a long time, we only had each other, and it's still much like that today. She used to have complete and total acceptance of me, wholly as I am, but that complete and total acceptance is gone. I feel a bit...empty without it. Through my entire life, the only one who I could count on, the only one who never hurt me, was my mother. She fully accepted me, and now that acceptance is gone. If my own mother, after all that we've been through, can't accept and respect me, who will?

I can understand how hard it is to lose the bond with a parent. If nothing else, it is a learning experience on how to be on your own feet, and be your own support. It is probably very obvious at this point that you're not going to have your mother's support and acceptance on this matter, and forcing her to give you that acceptance and support is only making it worse. I think at this point you have to ask what matters more to you; your mother's acceptance and respect, or being open about your faith. I understand that ideally one should be able to have both, but this is obviously not an ideal situation and adjustments must be made accordingly.  

[KillerQueen Bash]

Thanks, all.

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[Queen Alice_Knight]

I understand exactly where you are coming from because I have a mother who is somewhat supportive, but my father is completely dead set against. He basically told me that if I want to practice witchcraft in his house, I have to leave. But seriously, you need to stop letting what your mom says get to you. There comes a point in everyone's lives where they need to just stop giving a crap about what other people think. I understand that everyone will still have insecurities from time to time, but you have to stop caring about what your mom thinks about it. If she doesn't want to accept it, that's fine. But it is what YOU personally believe in, so why do you care so much if your mom accepts it or not? Your mom is either going to accept or she's not. There's nothing you can really do about that. And by continuously fighting her about not going to church and not standing up for prayer, you are just making things so much harder for yourself. Just cooperate with her and give her time to adjust.  

[Sanguina Cruenta]

Orchidsandfractals

If you're a soft polytheist, try to remember that the Christian God is the same as the Pagan Gods and Goddesses, just in one.

No. That's not what "soft polytheism" means. That doesn't mean you can whitewash YHWH over the top of Pagan gods and pretend it's the same. Put DOWN the Ravenwolf!

Soft polytheism here would imply a great, many-faceted diamond. Each Pagan god and goddess would be a facet, but YHWH would also be a facet, not the diamond itself.

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A Catholic church may be a better fit for you to "blend in". The Virgin Mary is kinda like the Goddess, and Jesus is like the God, though the God himself presides over them.

Mary is like which goddess? Jesus is like which god? Why would you do Mary the disservice of elevating her to godhood? Why would you do YHWH the disservice of pretending his "family" is other deities within his house of worship?

You don't have to like YHWH, but if you're a guest in his temple, it's polite to conduct yourself with some honour. Honour applies regardless of whose house you are in.