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Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 10:22 pm
Please PLEASE PLEASE critique me to your best.



(Read both. In whatever order you choose. It doesn't matter)

There's Always Two Sides to One Story.



MARCUS

MARY



(For this guild going to the beginning will not bring you back to the guild.)  
PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:45 am

Oh... that's kinda creepy.

Well written, but still, morbid.
In the beginning of Marcus's story, the POV confused me, you should start with I, then move to she, and then back to I again, if that makes sense.

I think it could be longer for Mary's part, but it was still well written.

 

Irishroseh
Crew

Aekea Athlete


Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 12:39 pm
Yeah... I started with Mary and wasn't quite sure how to do Marcus...

But thank you so much =]  
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:06 am
Really good and yes very well writen. do you mine if i spread the word or reposted it useing your name of coures??
<3 Ava  

Ava850

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Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 1:03 pm
Ava850
Really good and yes very well writen. do you mine if i spread the word or reposted it useing your name of coures??
<3 Ava


I wouldn't mind if you linked people to it, as long as you do give me credit.

But please don't repost it anywhere, because we don't wanna clog up the gaia threads with multiples of the same story. =]

Glad you liked it though.

♥  
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:53 pm
Birth Of Originality
Ava850
Really good and yes very well writen. do you mine if i spread the word or reposted it useing your name of coures??
<3 Ava


I wouldn't mind if you linked people to it, as long as you do give me credit.

But please don't repost it anywhere, because we don't wanna clog up the gaia threads with multiples of the same story. =]

Glad you liked it though.


Will do and of course I will give you all the credit.  

Ava850

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Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 9:58 pm
Ava850
Birth Of Originality
Ava850
Really good and yes very well writen. do you mine if i spread the word or reposted it useing your name of coures??
<3 Ava


I wouldn't mind if you linked people to it, as long as you do give me credit.

But please don't repost it anywhere, because we don't wanna clog up the gaia threads with multiples of the same story. =]

Glad you liked it though.


Will do and of course I will give you all the credit.


Awesomeness =]

Thanks  
PostPosted: Sat Jul 04, 2009 10:19 pm
what do you think......


User Image

I no the refection didnt work out that well lol i can make another one if you want
<3 Ava  

Ava850

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Ava850

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 12:56 am
Or I can use this one....

User Image

It's up to you
<3 Ava  
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 7:26 pm
I really rather like the first one. If you want, I can make an actual text reflection on that if you have the original image....  

Alice Ate The Cake


Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 7:50 pm
User Image


Or you can go with yours.

Whatever you want =]

♥  
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 11:30 pm
Birth Of Originality
User Image


Or you can go with yours.

Whatever you want =]


I like this one i think what you should do is change the colors... black to white and white to black..... that way you can see it better....And how did you get the writing like that??  

Ava850

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Otulissa
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:50 pm
Wow, you guys are having fun with banners! ^_^  
PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 2:56 pm
And about the story -- I love it! biggrin I love how it's the same story, but in two points of views. I like the dark themes, and the way you told the story.

*applauds*

You are a really talented author~!  

Otulissa
Captain

Eloquent Explorer


Alice Ate The Cake

PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 6:16 pm
Otulissa
And about the story -- I love it! biggrin I love how it's the same story, but in two points of views. I like the dark themes, and the way you told the story.

*applauds*

You are a really talented author~!


Thank you very much =]  
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