How To Convince Them....

[Angel of the End]

Alright, there are over a million pages in this guild on issues goths have with norms and mundanes. There are also a million concerning parents, teachers, friends, and so on... How about, for just every one of these issues, we have this thread for supporting ideas on how to convincethem we are not what they assume we are. Maybe another thread like this has already been made... but what I'm aiming for is this:
* ideas on showing people we are not -insert false sterotype here-
* stories on how you have shown people who you actually are, or
* how you have gotten some people over their little goth-a-phobia, or their mocking/dislike of goths
* how we can continue to kill off the bad sterotypes and maybe, one day, a goth can walk past a Jiffy Lube without being screamed and yelled at till they reach the end of the street (don't ask)

oh, and how people react when you act differently than they would automatically assume.  

[Necrodancer Ghost]

Way I see it, why bother?
People will think what they think, and odds are anyone that thinks negatively of a group of people will think their own way no matter what we show them.
Just lead by example, I always say. Lead your life as positive as you want, and if ignorant people begin to notice then good on them.

 

[Angel of the End]

Nightstalker Blade

Way I see it, why bother?
People will think what they think, and odds are anyone that thinks negatively of a group of people will think their own way no matter what we show them.
Just lead by example, I always say. Lead your life as positive as you want, and if ignorant people begin to notice then good on them.

I agree with this... I just mean, for example, when someone starts going crazy or slightly mental on you, and what to do in that situation. Try to calmly explain, if how, so, and what? Do you just try to walk out, hoping they won't keep raising their voice and causing a public scene over nothing? Also, how to correct people when they make false states to you (as if they know more about the gothic subculture than you do).

((But I do agree. Some people just "see as a man sees", their eyes only see a person as being skin, or in this case clothing and/or music style, deep))  

[bittersweet world girl]

Well the way i see it is that I don't try to convince people of who I really am , I just have some friends that are really nice and they are the complete opposite of me , and then theres the people that think I'm just plain out wierd or a fake or trying to ruin my life...=( (not true , by the way..). So what I do is just let them think what they wanna think and just care about the people who are my friends and myself.

I had a poetic moment ...XD

 

[Necrodancer Ghost]

Angel of the End

Nightstalker Blade

Way I see it, why bother?
People will think what they think, and odds are anyone that thinks negatively of a group of people will think their own way no matter what we show them.
Just lead by example, I always say. Lead your life as positive as you want, and if ignorant people begin to notice then good on them.

I agree with this... I just mean, for example, when someone starts going crazy or slightly mental on you, and what to do in that situation. Try to calmly explain, if how, so, and what? Do you just try to walk out, hoping they won't keep raising their voice and causing a public scene over nothing? Also, how to correct people when they make false states to you (as if they know more about the gothic subculture than you do).

((But I do agree. Some people just "see as a man sees", their eyes only see a person as being skin, or in this case clothing and/or music style, deep))

I still don't really try to convince them otherwise. I just brush them off and let them think what they want.
I know what I am, and I know why I am what I am. Trying to convince them is just a waste of effort.
And between school, competitive gaming, and countless hobbies, I only have so much energy to expend. If it isn't worth my time, I won't give it any.

 

[Angel of the End]

Nightstalker Blade

Angel of the End

Nightstalker Blade

Way I see it, why bother?
People will think what they think, and odds are anyone that thinks negatively of a group of people will think their own way no matter what we show them.
Just lead by example, I always say. Lead your life as positive as you want, and if ignorant people begin to notice then good on them.

I agree with this... I just mean, for example, when someone starts going crazy or slightly mental on you, and what to do in that situation. Try to calmly explain, if how, so, and what? Do you just try to walk out, hoping they won't keep raising their voice and causing a public scene over nothing? Also, how to correct people when they make false states to you (as if they know more about the gothic subculture than you do).

((But I do agree. Some people just "see as a man sees", their eyes only see a person as being skin, or in this case clothing and/or music style, deep))

I still don't really try to convince them otherwise. I just brush them off and let them think what they want.
I know what I am, and I know why I am what I am. Trying to convince them is just a waste of effort.
And between school, competitive gaming, and countless hobbies, I only have so much energy to expend. If it isn't worth my time, I won't give it any.

My only problem is, that it's people like that who convince and can be the most radical to get other people to have the same views as them neutral ((kinda like some Obama and McCain supporters I've met...)) Also, like, this is what I'm talking about: once a chick, who was the class leader of this little group I had been in for years, well, she was a sub.. I wasn't as dressed up that day, no time for make up, only clean clothing were colors and such. When I mentioned goth, she went into rant over how it was satanic, then I said I was one... she wouldn't let me say one word before yelling at me and embarassing me infront of everyone, acting like some sort of crazy fit. Like, what to do in those situations also when you have to respond, walking our or ignoring the crazy person is not an option.... -slaps self on head due to remembering that horrid event of years past- her poor kids... hope they end up to be the preppy conformists she wants so they don't have to deal with that crazy side.  

[Necrodancer Ghost]

Well, in such a case I'd do one of the following:
1. Walk away.
2. Punch the b***h in the mouth.

Either way, it doesn't sound like she'd be very receptive of anything you tell her.

 

[Sulphuric]

My approach to things like this: If someone makes a small comment or something, just laugh it off and turn it into a joke, it'll make them realize that your not all that bad and that just because you run around in black all the time doesn't make you whiny and depressed. However, if someone goes on and insists it satanic or somthing, just roll your eyes and say "Yeah, you keep telling yourself that." or something along those lines. If you go on the defensive they usually think that your in denial or are lying to get them off your back. Just don't take them seriously. I know why you would want to and I've been stuck in similar situations when the urge to go and explain how it really is arises, but you must NEVER make a big deal out if it. Even if it deserves to be one.  

[Keevan Draco]

while a swift punch to the mouth seems very soul satisfying, and theraputic to you, it's counterproductive in the long run.

sometimes a very blunt approach is needed when circumstances pose an impass. for instance, in the above example by Angel, since the Sub was under the Pariah sickness, and was so certain of their facts and knowledge concerning the goth subculture and their alleged affiliation with satanism that no factual knowledge would seep into their tiny world view, an acceptable response would be:

A: demand proof, (it's simple....prove it!)
B: cry shennanagians of the offending party (if no proof is forthcomming, then the person is full of BS, and tell them so)
C: denounce the offender as false and ruin their credibility.

I would recommend learning the art of debate. It's a skill that comes in handy when dealing with those of very narrow world views....

and throughout the entire ordeal, smile, remain calm, and present your argument with as much grace and dignity (like you were dealing with a cockroach) as you can possibly muster. (think Wednesday Addams at summercamp in Addams family 2)

nothing unnerves most norms more than a person calmly informing them of the facts with a huge wicked smile on your face.....(bemusement is a very acceptable sub emotion to project while presenting your arguments)  

[Necrodancer Ghost]

Keevan Draco

while a swift punch to the mouth seems very soul satisfying, and theraputic to you, it's counterproductive in the long run.

There's the thing, I don't care.
If it makes me feel good, why not?

 

[Angel of the End]

Nightstalker Blade

Keevan Draco

while a swift punch to the mouth seems very soul satisfying, and theraputic to you, it's counterproductive in the long run.

There's the thing, I don't care.
If it makes me feel good, why not?

Then you are a simple minded person who obviously can not see past their own nose neutral  

[Necrodancer Ghost]

Angel of the End

Nightstalker Blade

Keevan Draco

while a swift punch to the mouth seems very soul satisfying, and theraputic to you, it's counterproductive in the long run.

There's the thing, I don't care.
If it makes me feel good, why not?

Then you are a simple minded person who obviously can not see past their own nose neutral

No, I'm pretty sure I can see pretty far ahead.
I'd just rather shut them up the old fashioned way rather than give them the time of day they are most likely unworthy of.

 

[Angel of the End]

And, if you were to do that... what would happen when that person saw another black-clad? At church? School? The grocery store? How would it make everyone whom that person would run into look, although they had no connection to the situation? Also, word spreads, and it hurts other people even more than it helped you, which will eventually reflect back upon you. If we can deal and respond with kindness and trying to find a hint of love considering that they are another person, too... also, there probably is a reason (most likely media or gossip) that has lead the person to the conclusion... Kindness and love, if shown enough, surely can defuse this over time. And that takes more effort than punching someone. Also, a reason I believe it is worth my time when the chance arises: to show them that apperances do not equal anything, not just concerning goths or alternatives. Now they might be kinder to that dude who looks like a homeless person, that more -coughcoughslutty- dressing girl at the store that dropped something, that ghetto dressed guy walking down the street, or that older girl who still dresses and acts like she's in her early 20s, or that overweight person, or that anorixic person, or a person who has a physical abnormality.  

[Necrodancer Ghost]

What part of "I don't care" don't you understand?
I'm starting to wonder if you can see past your nose.

 

[Sulphuric]

Nightstalker Blade

What part of "I don't care" don't you understand?
I'm starting to wonder if you can see past your nose.

I think she can understand that you don't care, but is more so warning you of the consequence of your action. But I'm not really her, so I'm not sure.
No offense, though, I'm not trying to take sides here, buuuut miscommunication and fighting because of it =/= cool.