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i just wanna know your opinion...
whether you can take being your family having a polygamy or not..

note:polygamy is husband who marries more than 1 woman and followed by islamic rules. only if the wife allows you to marry other woman then you can marry. the husband must give all he have fair and square to all his wives. i mean from spiritual,physical, property, money and i mean everything..
the total wives the husband can marry is 7..

the question is whether your the husband,1st wife,2nd wife or so on or any adult or kid whose family is having polygamy or not.

what do feel about polygamy?
what is your opinion?

actually some women hate it (like me) and some women dont really mind they say its better than him playing around

in islam u can have a prenuptial agreement and forbid ur husband from marrying another if u dont do that he had the right to marry wether u like it or not but he has to tell u about it.

and btw in islam a lot of ppl believe the man has no right to marry another unless she has a flaw like she cant give birth or she is sick and he cant be intimate with her I mean a man needs sex no matter how much he loves his wife.

if u read in quran what they said to the END of the line(men never read the end because they only want the part about them having 4 wives) it says u can marry 4 ONLY if u can treat them equally and u can NEVER treat them equally it human nature to love some one more than the other even parents love some kids more than others (love counts when u say being equal) which supports the theory of men only being allowed to marry for a reason.

and for ppl that dont know islam I will tell u why islam allowed a man to marry more than one:
1-if the first wife cant have kids, are the couple doomed to have no kids? does he have to divorce his wife so he can have kids? what if he loves her and does not want a divorce why make him choose? he can marry another and have kids and still be with his wife who he loves.

2-what if the woman gets sick and he cant have sex with her? he will probably end up cheating on her cuz he is so horny!! he can marry another with out being unfaithful.

(I would allow my husband to marry another if the first 2 happen with me)

3-in war who mostly goes to fight men right? construction sites and mines are dangerous places to work and usually men work there right? and when a ship is sinking who goes first? women and children riiiight? so in the end there are more women on this earth than men if we pair every 2 together we have allot of more women left over, why should they be denied being mothers if that is what they wish just because all the men are taken? why should they be denied sex(for muslim women) just cuz all the men are taken?

4-there are allot of widows out there they might also need a man in there life if only to support them and be there for them when they need a man like for example living with a man is a bit safer in most cases than a woman living alone. and not long a go women were stupid and didn't know I how to take care of themselves only recently did allot of them know they dont need a man and that they can learn to fight and protect them selves even though no matter how good u are a man is still stronger than physically than most women, personally I can fight off one but I dont know what I would do if 2 or 3 ganged up on me sad

btw
8 of the women that the prophet married were widowed or divorced he only married them so they would have a man in there life cuz bad guys keep away when they know there is a man(this was 1400years ago remember) the only one he married and was a virgin was Aisha and he only came to her bed after she was 10 0r 11 I dont remember, and she loved him she used to fight all the other wifes to keep him with her alone dont underestimate her loool rofl

there is a point to this.
I gave u all 4 things and these are only a few of the others I probably dont know .
smile

when i read about it...it sound so noble and very acceptable to me..
well here's the cause why i'm asking the question...

i have two mom's which mean my dad married another woman. lets call my stepmom 'A'. Before he married A, our family always happy where ever we go we always go together and we're a family who loves to travel. mom and dad always be able to accept each other differences but since dad knows A everything change. Dad knew A when he went to studies degree in business.
One day dad told the secret in front of mom. And of course mom was furious and i've never seen her like that cause she always listen to my dad. The house has never been quiet after that. it went for weeks. i have 1 younger brother and 3 younger sister and i'm the oldest. back then there were me, my younger brother and 2 younger sister. For those long weeks i cried every night in my heart wishing i could ripped out that woman heart and i almost went crazy.After the birth of 4th younger sister mom let dad marries A.

Mom was strict on religion she always teach us to be true muslim and muslimah. In islam always help those who want to hold our religion right. well A was from **** religion and because only for that reason my mom let my dad married A. Right now our life are more different than before.
We rarely went out to holidays together or being as a family like before.
although dad did carried out his responsibilities i becoming to think him as a stranger who just come n go from our house. Traveling with us seems to make him think that we're a burden since there are a lot of us but with A and my stepbrother, they seem to be going a lot of places. Now mom was the one who always take us on holiday. My siblings and i became adapt to the situation,we were able to accept the fact that we have a stepmom and stepbrother. though i doubt we would forgive our dad if did this to our mom again.

Days,weeks,month and years gone by and mom and A are like sister when they met but still there are a few quarrel between mom and dad only this time there're using text messages. i guess they dont want us to hear again through those horrible nights. Although everything went back to normal and mom was always saying she would be able to accept A but i think deep down she still cant accept it. She might probably not realize it but whenever A came she would get all angry to me and my siblings but nice in front of A. All we could do just be quiet cause thats all we can do.
we always pray that all of mom hardship can be shared with us too.

Well that's my story. Right now we're planning on going holiday with mom.
we havent had a real holiday in a long time and hope that we have a fun time.

i told this story not to ask for sympathy or anything else but only for advice only..i hope by posting this will not upset any1 if there is i'm really am sorry.

I don't think I could ever deal with it. It's not that I think it's wrong, but I just wouldn't be able to accept it. Or at least, I can't imagine ever accepting it.

However I think it's ok, if the wife is able to accept other wives.

BUT I think there are only certain justifiable reasons. If a man does it because a widowed/divorced woman truly needs help, then it is understandable. But, when it is done just because the husband decides he wants more wives (he's bored, wants a younger woman, whatever) it's not really Islamic, I think. Some people say it's better to take a second wife than to cheat, but sorry, I don't think desire to cheat is an acceptable reason at all. But in the end, it's the couple's choice, so they can decide when it's ok.

Allah will help You sister smile

Think about the time of Adam and Eve, they had lotsa lotsa kids. And i think that is good, cuz we are muslims, we shall conquer the world by kids wink

For a pathan it is very normal, a man's honour goes from his kids smile

So after getting 10 kids with 1 wife, the wife refuses more, and he asks his wife to marry a second wife, and she agrees.

If the man got it financially fine, then he can do it. If not, then he shoulden't.

Here in Denmark women earn as much as men though 3nodding

But ya as fish said the woman decides smile

But Muhammad had 8 divorced women as wifes? was it at once? cuz he says himself men must only have 4 wifes. U can't please more than 4 wifes.

So i think it's about how many women u can handle smile

I think it would be stupid if i was the only kid in my family. We are currently 4 kids. I woulden't mind 2 more bro'/sis'... 3nodding

Muhammad's time was diffrent, so he married alot. but it's not normal anymore. it's hard nowadays.

I woulden't mind marrying 2 wifes if i could handle it, and if my other wife would agree with it smile I love women, lol. And i know that all my wifes would be happy with me, so yes.

But kids, i don't think a man should spend too many hours with them. That's the moms farz. First comes the mom, then the rest of the family, then other people.

A man must do stuff like, giving it 50/50 if he has 2 wifes. So 1 day with her, the other day with the other. smile

Neways i spoke too much...

That is very good smile

But sister, ur dad is not that close to u actually. he comes after ur mom and those. Males are just some machines, the ain't supposed to sepnd alot of time with kids and show love. sad That's why, it's fine if got alot of kids smile As long as they are all happy =)

You have 2 very important people in ur life smile

Ur mom, and your husband.

Don't worry about not going to travel sad It's not important, ok? smile home is best wink

Ya, typical. everyone wanna be doctors or lawyers lol I wonder how world would be in some years wink If everyone is doctor or lawyer rofl

But art ain't always a good thing, only in ur sparetime. The only artists with succes, were crazy artists. or artists who got famous after dying. So not a good idea. Just pick something which is good for ur future and urself smile

Why don't u wanna be at home? You sound like a princess, u want everything to be perfect? I mean, i hate that people cry because they ain't going to holidays!!! Some people never ever went to holidays. Life is good, u got food, and house, and future. Nothing is bad smile