It was a day much like any other. The sun was in the sky, the grass was green underpaw, and all throughout the territory members of the pride were going about their business. Dainty white paws bounced playfully over the earth, long black ears flicking back and forth. Just because the hare was enjoying herself didn’t mean she wanted to get eaten after all. She knew a couple of the cubs in this pride already, both seemed to be fairly nice. A little odd, but they were lions. Kisun batted playfully at one of the flowers she passed, watching as it bobbed back and forth for a moment, before dropping back to all fours as she moved along. Maybe she could find a butterfly to play with. That might be fun.
Obadias had left the den while his parents, well, his mothers, were busy taking care of the other cubs in his family. It was always so noisy in his den, with so many siblings around. The younger male didn't enjoy noise, it was never a pleasant experience though he loved the company of his family. It was a difficult balance, quiet or company and either way, he would going to loose out on one. Other than his brothers company, of course, because Anwar was not a noisy soul, so Obadias could enjoy both wants.
As he moved around the pride, he steered away from the dens, pondering going down to visit the nearby lake, he didn't get that far though, when a flash of fur caught his eyes. He froze in his step, trying to peer at the creature to discover what it was.
No butterflies in this flower. Not in the red one. Not in the bush… they had to be here somewhere… Her ears twitched, swiveling back as she caught a soft pawstep behind her. Hello, what's this? Another cub? It seemed she kept finding them. Or they found her. Well, it wasn’t Suha or she’d have said hello by now. And Anwar…she probably wouldn’t have heard him. He was so sneaky…
Slowly, Kisun turned, her blue eyes merry as she caught sight of the dark shape. A cub indeed…a playmate perhaps> Cubs tended to be more interactive than butterflies.
”I can hear you over there!” she called, though she was ready to run if need be. They could have a game of tag!
Obadias could make out the rough form of a rabbit as he approached the other creature, heart thudding in his chest painfully. He wasn't able to deal with rabbits, not since the vision he had had not long ago about the slaughtered kits. He had even gone as far as to refuse the rabbit his mother had brought home one night, unable to stomach eating it. The image of the rabbits face flashing into his mind everytime he went to take a bite of the meat.
"And I can see you," Obadias responded to her call, eyes narrowed as he moved closer. He froze, one paw lifted of the ground. Those eyes...he knew those eyes...oh...no...
“Well, if you can see me I guess hide-and-seek is over,” she giggled, trying to pick out more precise markings on the you lion. Stripes? Did he have stripes? Anwar had been dark with stripes too. But there were lots of cubs in this pride. Maybe they were related, and maybe half the lions here had stripes. Who knew. At least this cub didn’t seem to be trying to hunt her. That Anwar was quiet enough to have gotten so close was a little alarming, but Kisun wasn’t the sort to stay alarmed for long.
She never seemed to stay anything for long.
“Do you want to play something else now?” the hare asked, taking a few hops towards him, ears perked hopefully. Of course, she was still ready to play that game of ‘tag’ that a lot of her meat-eating ‘friends’ enjoyed playing.
Obadias barely heard her when she spoke, too focused in on the rabbit that was right in front of him. It couldn't be the one from his vision, he tried to reason, this one was so happy, so bright and bubbly. She couldn't be the same one who had lost her kits, who had seen their blood across her own nest. It was impossible, right?
He shook his head, seeming only to realise she asked a question. "Oh, I'm...not good at games," he said, awkwardly, still peering curiously at her ,trying to find something that would tell him definate 'yes' or 'no' about the rabbit. There was no way, right?
Huh. This cub was kinda serious wasn’t he? How sad. “But you don’t have to be good at them,” she hedged, dropping down into an imitation of a play bow, tiny tail wagging slightly, “I don’t mind winning,” Kisun teased, then added, “Or we could make up a new game. One that you’d be really good at! C’mon…all kits like games! Games are fun!”
There didn’t need to be any other reason to play. Playing was fun! Sure, winning was great, but just playing was worth it! It wasn’t like there was any prize or anything, she was only trying to get him to have a little fun. Sad cubs were so depressing. She really, really didn’t need any more ‘depressing’ in her life…
That sounded like something his own mother would have said, Obadias mused, eyeing the rabbit with more and more suspiscion. It had to be her, he was sure. It had to be her. She was brighter, happier, and definately less...crying then when he had last seen her but it was her! What was he going to do now? How could he play a game with someone he had seen have her kits killed not long ago. How long had it been for her since that had happened?
"I...I'm not good at games," he simply repeated, almost as if he were a bad track stuck on repeat. He blinked, shaking his head. Opening his mouth slowly, he carefully asked, "are you a mother?" He rushed on, hoping not to insult her. "It's just...you're very motherly." He winced, watching for her reaction.
Well, that was a strange sort of look. The hare tipped her head slightly, ears flopping comically to the side accidentally on purpose. She’d coax a smile out of this cub yet! Little ones ought to be happy, at least while they were still little. His question took her by surprise though, distracted her quite sufficiently from her plans to amuse.
“No…” she said softly, her ears laying back as she slumped out of the playful half-bow to just lay limp on her belly. “No I…I’m not a very good mother… I…” Kisun fumbled for words, trying not to let it show just how horrible she knew she was. What kind of mother would let her babies die? “I…I think we should…should play...uhm… play…hide and seek again! Yes! You found me when you weren’t even looking, so you must be good at that game!”
Quickly placing both paws over her eyes and letting her ears perk up again, listening intently, she continued. “I’ll count to ten, and you go hide, okay? One…two…”
Obadias was oh so tempted to go along with her game, go and hide away and let her disappear or pretend that it wasn't happened, that she hadn't been a mother before. How could she deny her babies? He sighed, feeling terrible that he had brought it up. When she clovered his eyes, he didn't move. He continued to stand there, staring at her with a frown on his face.
"You were a good mother," he whispered, knowing that she would hear him. "You cried when they...when it happened. You were sad. If you were a bad mother, you would never have cried." He shook his head, staring down at his paws. The flashes of her face, horrified and sobbing as she realised her babies were gone, into the belly of some hungry lion.
“NO!” she cried, “No I wasn’t! A good mother would never have left! I shouldn’t have…I…” Suddenly she lifted her head, paws slipping from blue eyes that were suddenly no longer playful. “How do you know about that?” she demanded, rising to her feet, bristling and advancing on the young cub. “Nobody knows about that! No one! Who told you? WHO?”
She seemed to be quite fearless, prowling and snarling towards him as though she were the lion and he the hare. Fearless, or perhaps simply uncaring about what happened to her. Besides, he was small for a lion. She could probably take him. All thoughts of games were quite clearly gone now though...
Obadias' breath caught in his throat and almost felt like stepping back. She was no longer the kind bubbly rabbit he had seen, only moments before. Now she was furious and snarling at him. When she made towards him, he stumbled back, only to remember he was a lion and held his ground firmly.
"You can't blame yourself for leaving! You didn't know!" HE pointed out, almost growling, trying to ignore her question but he couldn't...he just couldn't leave her guessing about how he knew.
"I saw it," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut but they snapped open quickly. "I saw it. I didn't want to see it! Damn it!" He snapped, the first time the young cub had swore. "Do you think I wanted to see that? I can't make it stop. I can't even look at rabbits anymore because of what I saw!" He gave a laugh, that was bitter and jaggard, not a sound that usually came from a cub.
"I'm a lion that can't eat rabbit anymore, because I can't stop thinking about your babies." He gazed at her, eyes sad and pitiful. "I'm s-so sorry about your babies."
Well, the cub had guts at least, standing up to her like that. It did nothing to stop her bristling at him though, hurt had always come across with a little bit of anger with the hare. Ever since she was young, abandoned by her own mother. She swore she’d be a better mother than that, and look at what she’d done instead.
”Saw it? SAW IT? How? You weren’t there were you?” she snapped suddenly, batting at one of his dark paws with her white ones, “No. No you’re too small, it wasn’t you. Couldn’t have been, you’re too young. How did you see?” she growled, though his pitiful little expression did mollify her somewhat. He was just a cub, it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t do it. “How did you see?” she asked again, though in a slightly less bloodthirsty tone of voice. He was sad, she could see that. He was sad for her. Hah. A lion. Sad for a hare. A lion that wasn’t the bleeding-hearted Keena. She’d not quite expected it…
Obadias opened his mouth, trying to think of some way to explain it. How could he explain it to someone who he didn't know? Anwar was different, his brother would have believed him, or at least pretend to believe him, not matter what he'd said. What would she say? His eyes were still sad, staring at her.
"I dreamt it," he admitted finally, unable to explain it better. "I thought they were just nightmares. That's all I thought it was. I..didn't know it was real." He glanced down at his paws. "I get flashes, when I sleep. There like...memories...but they're so much worse then memories." He glanced up at her again, eyes wide and earnest. "I saw what happened...but I couldn't stop it. I just had to...watch."
It was hard to wait for the little one to find the words. But she would gain nothing from frightening him further. Nothing at all. Not even an empty revenge, for nothing would bring her little ones back, and therefore no revenge would satisfy her.
”Alright,” Kisun finally sighed. It was a bizarre sort of explanation, but why would he lie to her? “I have nightmares too,” she added, moving to nuzzle gently against his shoulder, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. It wasn’t your fault. It probably happened before you were born…” Not that she minded someone else missing her little ones, heck, even their father had no idea. Then again, he didn’t even know they’d been born at all. But making a cub sad… cubs were meant to be happy. She didn’t want him blaming himself for her mistakes.
Obadias reached out when she came closer, nuzzling his shoulder. He wrapped a paw around her, pulling her to him in a semblance of a hug. He nuzzled her in return, trying to comfort her but not knowing how to.
"I'm sorry I brought them up again," he said quietly, still sad for her. "It must be hard for you, and I just made it worse. I just...wanted you to know that you weren't a bad mother."
He felt horrible, bringing up her loss again but he had to let her know he knew too, that he felt her loss as well. Maybe it wasn't worth much, but he had to.
Most rabbits would have been slightly alarmed at a ‘hug’ from a lion. But Kisun, clearly, was not most rabbits. Her best friend in this world was a lioness, she spent more time playing with feline cubs than her own species, or even other herbivores. So getting cuddly with a cub… no big deal.
“It’s okay,” she mumbled into the soft black fur. “You…you won’t tell everyone, will you? I…I don’t want people to know…I don’t want them to…look at me like that…”
Because she was a bad mother. A little cub couldn’t understand and, for his sake, she hoped he never would. But leaving them alone, even for just a few seconds, even if it was just because she was so thirsty that the dew on the grass couldn’t help her… it was her fault. She should never have left them…
“It’s okay,” Kisun told him again. Poor little cub. So small to have seen such horrible things
Obadias didn't understand why she didn't want him to tell anyone, but really who would he tell? Anwar. Well, he would tell Anwar anyway, but he wasn't 'everyone' he was just his brother. The rabbit would understand, wouldn't she?
"I won't tell anyone," he promised her, continuing to embrace her lightly. "I promise." He smiled weakly down at her.
He couldn't help but give an amused look at her attempt to sooth him. When had that happened? She was the one who lost her kits! and she was comforting him? Why? He shook his head. "I'm alright," he tried assure her, before he paused.
"Say..." he peered at her, almost curiously. "What is your name?"
Ahah. There it was.
“I spy with my little eye…” she began, a faint note of teasing in her voice as she reached up to touch the cub’s chin with a slender white paw, “A little smile.”
Not that that had really stayed the goal. But being sad…she was sad too often. She didn’t want to be sad anymore. So she pretended she wasn’t. Maybe someday she’d fool herself. But at the least she could fool this little cub. Cubs shouldn’t be sad.
“My name? Kisun,” she said, her voice bright even if her eyes were still sad. She wriggled away from him then, bouncing slightly as she turned to look at him. “I didn’t get your name yet!” the hare reminded him playfully.
Obadias couldn't stop his smile from growing a little more at her words, laughing inwardly at the childish game that the hare had used. He allowed the smile to stay on his face, though he didn't look overly happy, he was trying. It was obvious that rabbit did not like staying sad.
"Kisun," he repeated, allowing the hare to wiggle away from him. He sat down, peering at her curiously, realising in embarrassment that he had not intsroduced himself either. "Obadias," he volunteered the name. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kisun!" He said, honestly, though he wished it had been under better circumstances.
“Well, Obadias, I’m glad I met you too!” she chirped with a giggle, wriggling further away from him. “You should smile more you know, it looks quite cute on you!”
She bounded forward to bat playfully at his little dark nose, before leaping away and running in a little circle. “Maybe I’ll see you around again sometime. Until then, you might want to work on that sweet little smile!” Kisun giggled, then twisted and vanished into the bushes. It wasn’t until she was sure that he wasn’t following her that she slowed and stopped, fighting to maintain control of her emotions. The cub was happy at least, poor little thing. It wasn’t his fault, not at all. He didn’t deserve to be sad or guilty, not over her horrible mistakes…
With a last glance at the poor black cub that had been cursed to see such horrible things in his dreams, Kisun continued on her way to nowhere in particular. She just wanted to get away from here for now, away from bad memories…
