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 Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 6:31 am
I know this is the second thread from me in a row, but I feel that this should really be it's own topic. Try not to derail this one.
...This morning, my father passed away.
I'd rather not type everything again, since I can hardly see through the tears.
http://psykotikpenguin.deviantart.com/journal/30736934/
My mom's been crying for the past two hours straight. She's calling all of the relatives now.
I've never had someone close to me die. It's... horrible.
Either way, if there is an afterlife, I hope that it's a much better place.
I still miss you, dad, so much.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 7:41 am
From my comment on DeviantArt Oh my god, Tik, I'm so sorry... I know that words read on a screen aren't the best way to hear that, but I really am sorry. I wish I could say that you'll get over the hurt, the pain, the anguish in time, but it never really goes away. There will always be something that happens, something you see, hear, smell that will remind you of him. How you take that in is how you'll react to it. It will take time to heal, but it does get easier to respond to such things with a smile of remembrance instead of tears of pain. And yes, I know what you're going through. My great-Grandfather (whom I was close with) died last year. And a couple months later, my favorite aunt had a heart attack in her kitchen. I can understand what you must be feeling, and I'm sorry that you are feeling it. I still get sad when I see something my aunt would have loved, or when I practice the guitar that I got from GrandPop. But I remember that they loved those things, that Grandpop was good at playing and my aunt was funny. Over time, it gets easier, even if right now it's too much to bear. Like I said, reading it's not the best way to hear it, and I'm sorry for that. I'll post this on Gaia too, in case you see it there first.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 9:42 am
As I said on dA, I really wish I could give you a comforting hug in real life.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 10:15 am
Thank you, everyone.
It's hurting a little less now.
His brother arrived a while ago, and him and my mom are discussing funeral plans. What will most likely happen is a cremation and memorial service down here, and then have his ashes spread/buried next to his mother and father's graves up where his brother lives.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:11 am
I will summon Mortanius to bring your farther back! I shall fix this for you Tik!
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:16 am
I guess all I can say is I'm sorry for your loss. He's in a far better place now.
I'm hugging you over the internet.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 11:19 am
I tried hugging over the internet but all I got was a laptop smooshed into me
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:42 pm
Thanks everyone. c':
I know it'll still hurt for a while, but... I'm in an okay place right now. Like... the part of mourning that's remembering good times instead of crying.
His memorial service will be Wednesday.
Right now his brother and sister-in-law are down here, sorting out funeral things, comforting my mom, etc.
At least they say I'm being very strong. :'3 And I feel like I am. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to keep my mom and I happy.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 3:53 pm
I understand your pain, and I am sorry for your loss. crying
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:43 pm
I get how you feel. I really hope you feel better *hug*
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 5:03 pm
:'3
Hugs all around~
*group hug*
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 5:57 pm
Main says you can call me a bunny and whatnot whilst you mourn.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 7:49 pm
*is frustrated at inability to hug through the computer*
As I said on dA, I'm sorry for your loss, but to me, my sympathy doesn't feel genuine, mostly because I've never felt loss of that magnitude before.
That aside, if there's anything you need/want me to do, I'll do it. Even if it's ridiculous and serves no other purpose than to make you smile.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:08 pm
Right now, I'm pretty good. I'm just guessing the pain will come and go, like if I see something that reminds me of him a little too much I'll start crying.
My mom says that I'm a very resilient person, able to bounce back quickly from tragic things like I've done many times before. I'll never fully get over this, but I will eventually learn to cope as well as I can.
I still miss him. I miss him so much.
He hasn't even been gone a day, and I just feel partially empty.
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Posted: Sat Mar 06, 2010 8:42 pm
Just remember something Tik:
Should you smile, laugh or cry, it doesn't mean you miss him any less if you try to take a break from being sad. Mourning isn't just being sad that he's gone, it's coming to personal acceptance that you can survive afterward.
I've always looked at it like this: They aren't dead, they aren't gone. They just moved on to a next level in the grand game. Like being in a PS2 game, you finish one world and move on to the next, even though you find out when you get to the next world that it blends with the last one and you still see all your old friends, even if from a distance. You can watch as they grow up, as they achieve great things, as they live their lives in the way that suits them best.
Does that make any sense? I can't think of how to type what I'm trying to say, the game reference is the best way I can think of saying it...
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