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 Posted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 11:03 pm
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Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 12:40 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 7:44 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:42 pm
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Posted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 7:32 am
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:28 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:56 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 10:38 pm
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Mademoiselle Alvinette lilchibiusa I heard a pretty good one at a church fellowship recently. Here it goes: A kindergarten class was studying about different types of religions, so the teacher asked the students to bring in something that represents their religion. One kid came with a Star of David and said, "I'm Jewish." Another kid came with a Crucifix and said, "I'm Catholic." The last child came with a casserole, and said, "I'm Baptist." rofl (It's kind of a joke among Baptists about how much we love having our luncheons/potlucks/church fellowships/any excuse to have food at church that we can come up with.) That is SO TRUUUUUUUUUUE!!!! Although I think fried chicken might also fit this, no? wink (I'm Baptist too, by the way.)
Of course! And let's not forget the church fish fries! blaugh |
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 7:18 pm
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Posted: Tue Oct 26, 2010 11:56 pm
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Posted: Wed Oct 27, 2010 7:39 pm
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resonantscythe Awesome! A man proposes a ne dollar bet to a well-endowed woman that despite her being buttoned to the neck, he could touch her breasts without touching her clothes. Since this didn't seem remotely possible, she is intrigued and accepts his bet. He steps up, cups his hands around her breasts and squeezes firmly. With a baffled look, she says "Hey, you touched my clothes. And he replies, "OK, here's your dollar."
That's hilarious! rofl |
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Posted: Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:53 am
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resonantscythe Awesome! A man proposes a ne dollar bet to a well-endowed woman that despite her being buttoned to the neck, he could touch her breasts without touching her clothes. Since this didn't seem remotely possible, she is intrigued and accepts his bet. He steps up, cups his hands around her breasts and squeezes firmly. With a baffled look, she says "Hey, you touched my clothes. And he replies, "OK, here's your dollar."
That was pretty amusing. xD |
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Posted: Mon Nov 01, 2010 10:50 am
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Trussardi lilchibiusa I heard a pretty good one at a church fellowship recently. Here it goes: A kindergarten class was studying about different types of religions, so the teacher asked the students to bring in something that represents their religion. One kid came with a Star of David and said, "I'm Jewish." Another kid came with a Crucifix and said, "I'm Catholic." The last child came with a casserole, and said, "I'm Baptist." rofl (It's kind of a joke among Baptists about how much we love having our luncheons/potlucks/church fellowships/any excuse to have food at church that we can come up with.) My favorite joke concerning religion: [Warning -- Uses adult words so not work safe.] ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utf2E-8B3TE
That would be rather funny and ironic, an atheist becomes a tree, becomes paper, and has the Bible printed on him. rofl |
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Posted: Sun Nov 07, 2010 1:08 pm
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A man was eating in a restaurant when he dropped his spoon.
The waiter was immediately at his table and took another spoon out of his pocket and gave it to the man.
The man thanked him and then took a sip of his soup and then asked,"Excuse me, but why do all the waiters have spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter said,"Well sir, a time and motion survey in our restaurant showed that one in four customers drop their spoon just like you, so we always have a spare spoon on hand so we can give it to the customer so that he is not eating with the dirty one. It saves time as the waiter does not have to go back to the kitchen to retrieve a clean spoon. The management prides itself in the efficiency of the staff."
As the waiter is about to return to the kitchen, the man noticed that there is a string hanging from his fly and said "Excuse me, but why do you, and all the other waiters, have a string hanging from your flies?"
The waiter said, "Well sir, a survey in our restaurant showed that the waiters can save time and serve more customers if we do not wash our hands after using the toilet. So we use the string tied to our penises to pull it out of our trousers so we don't get our hands dirty."
Then the man took another sip of his soup and replied, "That's all very well, but how do you get it back in again?"
"well, I don't know about the others." replied the waiter,"But personally, I use the spoon."
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Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 11:16 am
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xp Eeeeee-yeeeeeew! rofl
Time for a very, very, very, very, very corny joke I heard years ago:
Newlyweds Bob and Betty Hill were honeymooning in Transylvania, and they rented a car to drive around and see the countryside. Unfortunately, Bob was so busy talking to Betty that he wound up crashing the car into a tree. Bob was in a lot of pain and knew that he had been seriously injured, but Betty was unconscious and didn't look too good. Seeing a castle in the distance, Bob took Betty into his arms and began hobbling toward the castle to try to get help. When Bob reached the castle, he knocked on the door, and a hunchbacked man answered.
Bob explained, "My name is Bob Hill, and this is my wife Betty. We were just in a car accident, and we need a doctor. Can you--?"
The hunchback interrupted, "My master is a doctor! I'll go get him!"
A few minutes later, a man in a lab coat came to the door. He told Bob, "I'm afraid Igor misunderstood. I AM a doctor, but I'm a scientist, not a physician. But I do have some medical training, so I'll see what I can do."
The doctor and Igor carried Bob and Betty down to the doctor's lab and put them on adjoining tables. They worked for a long time, trying everything they could think of, but unfortunately, there was nothing they could do, and both Bob and Betty Hill died. Distraught, the doctor trudged into his parlor, where he sat down at the huge pipe organ and began to play his favorite songs, as he often did when he was depressed. Meanwhile, Igor stayed down in the lab, looking sadly at the bodies of the poor young couple they tried to help. As the tune the doctor was playing floated into the laboratory, Igor noticed that Betty's foot was twitching, and then her eyes opened. A few seconds later, Bob gasped and sat straight upright. Igor excitedly ran up the stairs to the parlor and shouted:
...wait for it...
"MASTER! THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!" mrgreen
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