Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Sci--

[Scientific GLaDOS]

*FRRZZZTZRZT*

Enrichment-- *RZZZT* --M-m-m-myyyy apologies. It has become a sort of habit over the years.

I am not entirely sure why I am here. This is not part of any Enrichment Center test protocol.

I am the Aperture Science Genetic Lifeform and Disk-Operating System; GLaDOS for short.

Who wants a piece of my delicious cake? At the expense of extensive testing you most likely will not survive.

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

I wonder if Moebius knows you're messing with the timestream.

Herm. Anyways-CAKE! 8DDDDD

But wait. >.>

It will somehow become a lie...  

[Scientific GLaDOS]

The Aperture Science Hand-held Portal Device is still in its testing stages, and prone to occasional portal malfunctions, which may or may not explain my arrival here. That, or a fantarding main.

Further ASHPD malfunctions can be avoided by extensive testing. Becoming an Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center test subject will help us help you help us all.

And there will certainly be cake.

 

[MadxHatterxTeapot]

Well...

I'm a breed of Cheshire Cat that resulted from breeding a Cheshire Cat with the result of a fractal experiment cat. Technically I COULD help you...but then again...I'm quite mad. You don't want to go amongst MAD people now do you? :3 *shakes head*  

[Reaver Of Souls Raziel]

I can't eat cake...

So you must be GLaDOS, I've heard so much about you...  

[Lieutenant Turel]

It's not the timestream that's being messed up; it's the dimensional portals

So that's Azumith's territory. Also, I heard about cake. Be careful as I have an 'adult-child' brother who adores cake. And hugs.  

[Scientific GLaDOS]

MadxHatterxTeapot

Well...

I'm a breed of Cheshire Cat that resulted from breeding a Cheshire Cat with the result of a fractal experiment cat. Technically I COULD help you...but then again...I'm quite mad. You don't want to go amongst MAD people now do you? :3 *shakes head*

I have some screws loose as well. Only because you MURDERED ME.

The Aperture Science Enrichment Center only discourages unlikability and noncooperation with testing instruction. Mental disease, however, is fine and encouraged, to discover the effects that ownership of a portal gun has on the mentally unstable.

Reaver Of Souls Raziel

I can't eat cake...

So you must be GLaDOS, I've heard so much about you...

If you prefer, we offer grief counseling as well at the conclusion of testing.

From the looks of you, you need it.

Lieutenant Turel

It's not the timestream that's being messed up; it's the dimensional portals

So that's Azumith's territory. Also, I heard about cake. Be careful as I have an 'adult-child' brother who adores cake. And hugs.

While I am unable to engage in hugs due to being hung several feet above the floor and by having a general disdain for affection, the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube would be happy to receive and return your brother's love, if it were alive.

And the Enrichment Center takes this time to remind you that it is not.

 

[Lieutenant Turel]

Yeah, a companion cube. Just what he needs. i think he'll go after your cores instead  

[Scientific GLaDOS]

Lieutenant Turel

Yeah, a companion cube. Just what he needs. i think he'll go after your cores instead

I have warehouses full of cores ready to be reinstalled after major test protocol deviation. Like when you killed me.

Actually... let him have Wheatly. His usefulness has long passed.

 

[Lieutenant Turel]

*sighs and gets on a third browser*

I hope you are happy.  

[Lord Dumah]

WHEEEEE DUMAH HEARD CAKE! DUMAH LOVE CAKE  

[Scientific GLaDOS]

Lord Dumah

WHEEEEE DUMAH HEARD CAKE! DUMAH LOVE CAKE

Cake will be rewarded after testing only.

Here, have a spare Curiosity Core. Wheatly must be off helping [SUBJECT NAME HERE]. The traitor.

Ooooh, who are YOU?! surprised Ooo, what's that? Is that a cape? It's purple! Why is it purple? Ooo, look at that over there~! That green thing! What is it? What's its name? What's YOUR name? Where are you taking me? Oooh, what's over there~?

 

[Lord Dumah]

EEE! So cool! Is it food Computer Lady? Can Dumah eat Wheatly?  

[Scientific GLaDOS]

Lord Dumah

EEE! So cool! Is it food Computer Lady? Can Dumah eat Wheatly?

Only if you're able to digest large amounts of metals, plasma, and radioactive materials.

Otherwise, proceed.

 

[Lord Dumah]

Dumah will try to eat Wheatly then! Yum yum! Rahab say to try things for science lots. Dumah try for science then