Raziela’s steps felt heavy, forced as she made her way down to the theater. Her mind was clouded, clumsy from the sudden dawning of realization that had come after her brief chat with her mother, during which she had promised Maua to end her friendship with Derasan. It hadn’t quite occurred to her what that would truly entail until after Maua had left, and the threat of miscarried or otherwise under-developed younger siblings had gone with her. Then, then it had hit Raziela.
The thought scared her – more than scared her, it horrified her. She hadn’t known Derasan for long, but already he had become her best friend. And what would it be like then, not to talk to him, not to laugh at his antics, not to see that knowing glint in his eye and feel reassured that he would let no harm come to her? Never before had she truly understood how a relationship could be paradoxical, but he had shown her how. When she was with him, she felt at once both safe and as though she was balance precariously on the edge of something, as though she was a step away from falling. And it was true, for Derasan provided a shelter from the political world of nobility, and yet it was that very shelter that threatened to plunge her ever deeper into that world of gossip and broken reputations.
Now, though… now… she supposed she was removing from her life that element of danger, that fearless entrusting of her life into the hands of fate. She had quite enjoyed the feeling, quite enjoyed collaborating with destiny for once in her life, but she supposed her mother was right. To do so would be to dare her fate to deal her a bad card, and that simply wouldn’t do. Her mother had worked too hard.
The lioness found her way along the familiar path to the theater. Every step had begun to feel like an eternity, and she dreaded the look on his face when she had to break it to him. And yet… she knew she had to face him, knew she had to find him, if for no other reason than to see his handsome face and smiling eyes one more time. One last time.
“Ela!”
His familiar voice made her stomach knot. She let her eyelids flutter to a close, hiding her emerald gaze from the world. Anything would be better than this… better than the shame she was feeling, for there was no reason for her to end her friendship with him, other than the fact that he was not purple, and she knew it. They would both know it, beyond a shadow of a doubt. But what was there to be done? She had given her mother her word, and to break it was unthinkable.
“Ela, you wouldn’t believe what happened this morning,” Derasan’s voice sounded excitedly from behind her. “They told me it was too early, the sun hadn’t yet risen, and it was a new moon, and there was nothing but stars lighting the way and—“ She could only nod, fighting back tears. “Ela. What’s wrong, love?” He came around to face her, his brilliant amber eyes searching her face. “What happened?”
She swallowed, taking a shaky breath to calm her stomach. He had come to sit beside her and lean his forehead reassuringly against hers, though he knew not what she had to say. He was close, so close she could feel his warmth, hear his breath beside her ear. His nearness gave her strength.
“Somebody told my mother. She… didn’t know…” The dark lioness felt the tears stinging at her eyes again. “I can’t… I can’t put her reputation at risk, Derasan. She’s worked too hard, and all her children... She doesn’t deserve it, it’s not her fault, but…” She sniffed.
“Ela, hush,” He drew her close into a tight hug. “It’s me. What are you trying to say? You can tell me.”
She drew away to gaze into his amber eyes. He wasn’t sure what she was trying to get at. There was confusion there, concern – genuine concern, and here she was, on the verge of severing it. And yet… She took a breath. “We can’t be friends, Derasan. The Nobles, they… they would never… and my mother…” She faltered. “I gave her my word. I’m… I’m so sorry. Believe me, you can’t imagine how sorry I am… I can’t even begin to…”
He fell silent for several moments, shifting his gaze into the trees, peering as far into the darkness as they would let him. It didn’t take a far stretch of the imagination to imagine that it had been him, the warmonger, that had informed Raziela’s mother of Derasan’s friendship with the lioness, but the memories of their brief encounter reminded him of something he had said: if Raziela decided to end their friendship, he would gladly leave her be. The pale lion’s gaze fell silently onto his friend. The emotion had drained from his face, leaving him looking weary.
At long last, he spoke. “I once said that if you were to end our liaison, I would leave you be.” His voice was low, his words careful. “I will gladly honor my word, if that is truly what you wish.” He stared into her eyes, willing her to give him an answer, to tell him the truth. “I have little understanding of Noble minds, so I know not what part your mother plays, but I do know what part you play. This is yours. This life is yours, these choices are yours to make. Not hers.” And there was a great sadness in his eyes as he gazed into hers, willing her to answer. “So tell me what you choose. The truth, Ela. That is what matters.”
She felt her breath catch, felt every fiber of logic and reason in her body scream for her lie and be done with it, to lie and honor her promise to her mother, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t find the right words to tell him she didn’t want to see him again. She couldn’t say that when his amber eyes were locked so tightly to hers. “I choose this,” she breathed. “Us, our friendship, you. I can’t imagine life after you. There’s… nothing.”
She buried her head into his thick mane and breathed in his familiar scent as he drew her close in a tight embrace again. She could have spend all her life in the comfort and safety of his hug, if only her life had been different.
WC: 1104
