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 Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:13 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:14 am
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AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM
Name: Cervantes
Nicknames: Van, Puppy
Gender: Male
Age: 16.
 Faction/Race Demon - Cwn Annwn officially; a different name for the colloquially called Devil's Dandy Dogs
xxxxx Devil's Dandy Dogs is unlisted as a Demon subtype, but they are associated with the Wild Hunt and the Faerie folk in lore.
xxxxx"(...) the most dangerous of all the diabolical packs...The dogs, a numerous pack, blackened the small patch of moor that was visible; each snorting fire, and uttering a yelp of indescribably frightful tone." x
xxxxx"A pack of fire-breathing black hounds found in Cornwall. They had bright fiery eyes, and followed the devil over lonely moors on stormy nights. If they captured humans they tore them apart limb by limb. The only know way to deter these monsters was for a man to pray sincerely." x
Natural Ability: Pitch-black: Devil's Dandy Dogs can manipulate darkness to a certain extent. At Van's age, this would be no more than if the lights were turned down a little lower in a small room. The more intense the light source and the larger the area of effect, the weaker his natural ability. Can be trained.
Personality Basics: ((There is a post below this one with more detail, but these are his cardinal traits))
[ Positive + Traits ]
xxxxxTask Oriented: Cervantes, because of his background, is a very active and hands-on demon. He likes to take charge and really unravel things with his bare hands. No challenge or problem is too difficult for him -- well, that's how he feels about it. He's unafraid to try and fail, but he hates to stay still. Van's the kind of guy who, when knocked down, will just keep getting up; forget brushing himself off, he has other things to do! Being dirty never stopped him.
xxxxxEnergetic: Cervantes' enthusiasm is seemingly boundless. He can be overwhelming at times, but he's probably the first to notice newcomers in a room, and he's quite content to go introduce himself. There are exceptions, and he does get worn out some days, but for the most part he's very happy making new friends. He applies this energy to his task oriented nature and uses it to realize his goals.
[ Neutral o Traits ]
xxxxxWillingness: For better or worse, Cervantes can be persuaded to try almost anything. On its own, this trait doesn't really impact him in terms of positivity or negativity; only once it's coupled with a specific action does it gain meaning.
[Negative - Traits ]
xxxxxCareless: Cervantes has energy and goals, these two things can combine to make him a thoughtless or callous individual. He can often become blinded as to how his actions hurt others, because he's too focused on himself. Sometimes it's something simple, like forgetting names or important dates. Other times it can be more profound, because he can bulldoze over others' aspirations and values in favour of his own.
xxxxxPassionate: It can become too intense very fast, his attention. It's pretty unwavering, and that can be unbearable. That's not it, either; if something piques his interest he can pursue it with single-minded determination. The worst and most terrible is when something makes him think of the hunt. As soon as he associates someone with the wild hunt he longs to join so badly, he will pursue them with an intensity which can irritate at best and injure at worst.
Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? He can't control the fire that makes up his best elemental strength. Occasionally, if he's sitting reading, he'll start to radiate heat without realizing it and risk setting his book on fire. Basically, Van lacks control, strength and speed which he desperately needs if he ever wants to regain what he feels he has lost.
FEAR:
xxxxxBloodletting; Gambler's Chance:: Van ties thin chains around his tail, into the fur, little blades dangling from the chain. He uses the tiny knives to cut his forearms, and the properties of his blood create a physical weapon with which he can fight. He can cut other places on his body to the same effect, but it's easiest to use the blades on his forearms. The blood he uses as a weapon is physically draining from his body as he fights, though, so the more he uses, the weaker he gets. If he uses it too much, he'll faint. At its first stage, he can only create two spikes and cannot expand them. At later stages, he may be able to "web" the weapons, extending them without using extra blood.
Physical Description: He's desperately trying to develop muscles, though it seems like he is absolutely not making any progress. Carries himself tall, though he's not astonishingly tall; maybe 5'10", will likely grow a few more inches as he progresses. Always seems to be stalking some kind of prey. When he talks to others, it always looks like he's thinking about how tasty they might be to eat. When he's thinking hard, he looks kind of angry.
Eye Colour: Red, slightly glowing. Kind of like embers. Racial trait.
Hair Colour/Style: See ref. It hangs down kind of shaggy on one side, is pushed up away from his forehead and cut shorter on the other side. His dark, soft ears peek out and so do two small horns. One ear is usually flopped down, which makes him look a bit cuter than he'd like.
Skin Colour: Darker skin, see ref for possibility. The Devil's Dandy Dogs are all about fire and darkness, so his appearance reflects it.
Clothing Style/Colours: Van always feels cold, so he wears as many layers as he can. Gloves, scarves, sweaters, jeans-- he'll wear whatever he can to keep warm. He will not wear hats, though, because he hates the way they mess with his hearing. He doesn't have a particular style, except if he's wearing something with long sleeves he tends to cut holes in its sleeves with his nails, pushing his fingers through the holes and wearing it that way. He won't do that if he has gloves; he doesn't need to.
Extra: Although likely not visible, he has scars along his back from where natural spikes had been removed from his back. His tail fur is black and thick, as that is what allows his chains to keep their place.
References: Ref above! Acquiring other ones.
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2011 10:18 am
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Personality Extras.
xxxxxCervantes has a pack mentality, and unlike the idea of demons pursuing the best place in the hierarchy of fame and fortune, he chases success with a different thought in mind. He is used to the notion that one must have close allies with a single-minded purpose, and as such he does love to be charismatic and acquire groups of friends. He also tries to pick friends which are loyal and like-minded, however, and when he finds those he really does consider his equals, he will be as considerate with themselves as with his own self, despite his arrogance at being apparently destined to run with the Wild Hunt. He's just a pup in terms of Halloweentown, and he knows that in his current state, he wouldn't even be able to find the pack. After all, his father did leave him here for a reason, right? Sometimes it just feels like a fairytale. Cervantes prizes physical strength and passion, and he seldom sits on the fence about anything. Sometimes he will mince his words, if he wants to gain favour with someone he is interested in, but the more one gets to know him, the less he keeps to himself.
xxxxxHe is an avid runner, and while he's not always the fastest, he pursues his prey with determination; this makes him ideal in long-distance events. Because of his type, he has a very sensitive sense of smell and strong odours make him sick, even overwhelming pleasant smells. Sometimes his knees buckle and he gets weak when he encounters something really offensive, because it just overwhelms his senses. Apart from running track, he's very concerned with his physical strength. He's still training in that sense, but physical fitness is very important to him. He doesn't need much sleep, nearly none at all unless he has been running, and he uses that time either to exercise or to read. Cervantes is actually an avid reader, and he keeps his room shut all the time because if anyone was to enter it is hardly the picture of manliness Cervantes likes to infer; books of all sizes and shapes are scattered all across his room. He loves to read, and is a voracious reader. Van doesn't seem like the type who would read, it's true. However, he finds the solo activity thrilling. His pack-nature dictates his desire to spend time with groups, but he often feels a need to spend time alone, as if to recharge. He doesn't fully understand the desire to be alone, as he believes it's inappropriate and unnatural. Despite that belief, he retreats to his room to read because it provides a distraction. He likes it so much in particular because although it is a solo activity, the characters within the books make him feel less alone, and so it's easier to forget that he's behaving strangely. He gets very drawn in to the stories. That doesn't mean he's always so quick-witted, though; Cervantes has a bad habit of using his fists before his head.
xxxxxSecretly, he really loves bubble baths and cute foods. Although his idea of "cute foods" mostly encompasses pets, particularly rabbits, especially the ones with bows on them. Normally, cute things revolt him a little, but if they are cute and fluffy he'll probably view them as a snack.
xxxxxBecause of his species type, he constantly feels cold despite how warm a room might be. To the touch, he may seem as though he has a fever, burning up; despite that, he never feels warm enough, so he wears a lot of layers in an attempt to feel warm. Whenever he enters a room, he will seek out the nearest heat source, and it might make him seem cuddly. Ghosts and undead make him uncomfortable sometimes, because he can't leech warmth from them.
xxxxxIn terms of quirks, Cervantes likes to smack individuals he likes on the a** with his tail while he passes by. It's like a high-five, but kind of stinging and often unappreciated. It's just a habit, though, and even when he nearly gets beaten up over it, he can't seem to stop. His long incisors pop over his bottom lip when he smiles. It's not entirely a quirk, but he has terrible luck; it never stops him from doing things, but he has kind of begun to brace himself for failure, because... he's just really, really bad at anything involving chance. Some, he feels, take their luck for granted. Van has never had luck like that, and sometimes he wonders if he's cursed by his heritage.
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:49 pm
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Posted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 1:50 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 13, 2011 6:09 pm
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Hello there !
First off I see you have a range of age for him, I know that in the questing information they have it stated that 'All first years are the same age group, or look of a similar 'young' age.' From the quest I went into that's about the age of 16, I could be wrong but it'd be something to look into...just in case.
Personality:
Cervantes has a pack mentality, and unlike the idea of demons pursuing the best place in the hierarchy of fame and fortune, he chases success with a different thought in mind. He is used to having close allies with a single-minded purpose, and as such he does love to be charismatic and acquire groups of friends.
_______________________________________________________
Cervantes has a pack mentality so unlike the typical idea of demons pursuing the best place in the hierarchy of fame and fortune, he chases success with a different thought in mind. Being use to having a rather large group close allies with a single-minded purpose, he has developed a charismatic attitude and loves to acquire friends for the obvious reason of its familiar to him to have a good amount of people around him.
_______________________________________________________
He also tries to pick friends which are loyal and like-minded, however, and when he finds those he really does consider his equals, he will consider them on the same level as him, despite his arrogance at having run with the Wild Hunt. He's just a pup in terms of Halloweentown, and he feels like even if he tried to return to the pack, he wouldn't be fast or strong enough to hunt with them. Cervantes prizes physical strength and passion, and he seldom sits on the fence about anything. Sometimes he will mince his words, if he wants to gain favour with someone he is interested in, but the more one gets to know him, the less he keeps to himself.
________________________________________________________
favor - favour ..^ ^ ;; one of those two different spelling words isn't it lol
The whole sentence is kind of weird love.. because I mean its kind of obvious that if he finds someone he considers an equal that he would consider them the same level as him ? xD...idk don't kill me .. anyways could try something like this.
The friends he tries to acquire are normally like-minded, loyal individuals. Since that is the type he is use to and prefers to 'hang' with. However if and when he finds those he considers his equals, he will of course look at them as such despite his arrogance in the fact that he had previously ran with the Wild Hunt.( I'd suggest putting in more of the info about his place and yadda yadda about the wild hunt and his experiences with them, why he left and then go into him and Halloweentown <3 )) A pup in the terms of his stance in Halloweentown but he plans to change this with the knowledge he is hoping to receive here at the school. Being one that prizes physical strength and passion, Van is one to seldom sits on the fence about anything that he doesn't approve of, or is strongly opinionated in. Though he will mince his words, if he wants to gain favour with someone he is interested in.(How far will he go to gain favor with another person? ) ( This part...is kind of weird I don't get how it fits in OTL , take it out maybe? but the more one gets to know him, the less he keeps to himself, I mean its kind of strange considering you mentioned he was charismatic and well that means he is one that would like talking to others correct so..why would he keep to himself unless your meaning he talks happily with others BUT tends to keep private things guarded until he gets to know people well? Or are you saying xD which this might be it that, he will hold back from saying things to the people he wants to get favor with until they know each other better than he would be more likely to tell them about the things he doesn't like after he has them as a friend? )
Also - Ok so Van ran with the Wild hunt, then left? and in this it says :: He's just a pup in terms of Halloweentown, and he feels like even if he tried to return to the pack, he wouldn't be fast or strong enough to hunt with them. <-- your talking about him going back to the wild hunt ? So he'd feel like he couldn't keep up then? A few questions you could add in, why did he leave the hunt? Was it because he felt like this while running and wants to get stronger and then return, would he ever return to the hunt later on? Did he go on the real hunts even or was he more of a pup that lived with them pack and kind of just barely kept up with them?
__________________________________________________________
He is an avid runner, all the same, and while he's not always the fastest, he pursues his prey with avid determination; this makes him ideal in long-distance events. Because of his type, he has a very sensitive sense of smell and strong odours make him sick, unless they're pleasant. Sometimes his knees buckle and he gets weak when he encounters something really offensive, because it just overwhelms his senses. Apart from running track, he's very concerned with his physical strength.
__________________________________________________________
Ok , I think you should put that he runs track up top with the bit about his running just because as it is, is just seems like a random hunk you threw in at the end, like switch it around because you go from running to scent things then back to running and physical strength. So move it to running, tack then maybe talk about why he is so concerned with his physical strength then move to scent. OR really leave out the concern with his physically strength and open with that for the next paragraph since you talk more about it there and dedicate this one to running ?
__________________________________________________________
He's still training in that sense, but physical fitness is very important to him. He doesn't need much sleep, nearly none at all unless he has been running, and he uses that time either to exercise or to read. Cervantes is actually an avid reader, and he keeps his room shut all the time because if anyone was to enter they would hardly find the manly dog's den he infers he has; books of all sizes and shapes are scattered all across his room. He loves to read, and is a voracious reader. That is why he took the name Cervantes, avoiding his True Name, based on the human writer.
__________________________________________________________
He's still training what? That's a bit confusing unless you mean he is still training himself to not be so weak against scents? In which case I'd go with bumping that up to the previous paragraph. Also, does he ever consider no matter how physically strong he might become, if someone pulls the right scent on him he would loose in a battle or whatever? With how much of a physically exerting demon he seems to be...you might consider like having it since he doesn't need much sleep, you could say that when he does sleep then he is out for while? Your using the word 'avid ' a lot lol <3 Not that its bad... I would suggest talking more on his sleeping habits then easy into what he does when not asleep such as the reading, maybe put in things he likes to read ?a favorite Genre maybe? I think this is not needed ( He loves to read, and is a voracious reader. ) Since by the previously offered information we can kind of tell this <3 So he took his name from an author interesting, go more into why he did this. Offer his real name of course it will be a secret until he tells someone but it'd be interesting to know what it is and why he felt the need to take on a new name.
_________________________________________________________
Secretly, he really loves bubble baths and cute foods. Although his idea of "cute foods" can also encompass pet rabbits, especially the ones with bows on them.
In terms of quirks, Cervantes likes to smack individuals he likes on the a** with his tail while he passes by. It's like a high-five, but kind of stinging and sometimes unappreciated. It's just a habit, though, and even when he nearly gets beaten up over it, he can't seem to stop. His long incisors pop over his bottom lip when he smiles.
__________________________________________________________
Take the secret thing and move it under the other paragraph, in fact if you'd rather just in the positive and negative section put up a list of his likes and dislikes? As this seems kind of random since it was oh he likes to be very physical and then all a suddenly we are in left field with his secrets of liking cute things to eat. Lol <3 Its a great thing to have in however, does that mean he has kind of a softer side? Ah ha while I love this added in information in these two paragraphs they seem more like random facts about him. I'd say keep them in the profile just make them flow better if that makes sense ?
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On Fear; my votes for Wild Hunt, since it seems you've put more thought into that one and it goes well with his over all since well its mentioned in the profile.
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Traits they seem good, willingness I feel like there needs to be more to that one. <3
So yeah ! :3 all done and that's what I have to say over all I like him he looks good !
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 3:44 pm
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Posted: Sun Jul 10, 2011 6:35 pm
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I like what I'm seeing here! I think you have a fairly solid personality going for what I've gleaned; it's good that you've mostly picked his orientation and stuck to the physical side of things with being a marathon-runner type and so forth! Charismatic, arrogant and pack-oriented ties in pretty naturally to that, I think, kind of a 'classy social jock' archetype. I have to ask, though; what is it about the books he likes? That stuck out at me as feeling potentially out of place for someone who's always concerned with themselves and it constantly running or training or doing other physically oriented tasks and just having energy to burn, because it does require a lot of sitting down and just absorbing passive information.
What about them does he like? What genres is he so smitten by that he actually takes the time to settle down for them? Even take his name from?
Also, in the whole 'tattoos that are a pact with the Devil', I... would just omit that part, myself, because I'm not sure any supernatural entity equivalent like that exists in this verse, y'know? Instead, I'd recommend taking it down a notch and bringing it to a more realistic level of his former authority figure. I believe Reapers are the ones in Halloween who typically make contracts with demons, after all! Perhaps that could be a fair alternative?
I know you said you're redoing his ref, but I still have a few questions about his physical appearance. His species is a demon, yes, but isn't it a literal dog demon, more specifically? Right now, the elements of the design seem kind of... entirely detached from that. Would a Dandy Dog really have wings like that? And though I know the dove wings are supposed to be just a tack-on joke, I might suggest nixing them too, because... again, in this world, I don't really think there *are* 'angels' or "good entities" to mock in that way, or whatever he's trying to play off, so it strikes me as out of workable context? I might consider trying to doodle what he looks like in his natural form if you have any design trouble, and then working backwards to turn that creature *into* a human type character?
Just remember: the demons of Halloween aren't really beings from hell, they're simply creatures generated by human FEAR of them from the other world that live here! Good luck with all of your stuff, and thank you again for the crit swap!
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 7:28 am
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Thank you for the very accurate crit xD; I'm now re-hauling Van! Taking the wings off, if it turns out they can be worn as a joke later then he can always IC wear them instead of having them represented in his art. Basically, yeah, his whole appearance in that ref was null because I never really enjoyed it OTL.
In terms of books, I'll explain why he likes them, though you're right that one trait doesn't look as cohesive. I guess it's because I believe that the "jock" stereotype should be challenged at least a little. I'm changing him so that he's always "too cold" as well. Like... he complains a lot that he's always cold, and no room is warm enough for him. So instead of wearing so little, he'll be a fan of layers? xD; I think that change could be more fun. I'm designing him younger, too.
I think for me, the idea of the "Devil" was just that his species type relates to that lore? It may not be a devil in the traditional sense, but the force which drives the wild hunt. I did doodle his natural form, but I'm not satisfied with it OTL I'm not very good at drawing hounds, apparently. > A>;
Thanks for all the help, in any case o u o; It's going to take me a long time to edit Van the way I want to xD; Most of his personality will be intact, but it will explain the bookishness better.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:34 pm
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:58 am
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Quote: FEAR: xxxxxBloodletting; Van ties thin chains around his tail, into the fur, little blades dangling from the chain. He uses the tiny knives to cut his forearms, and the properties of his blood create a physical weapon with which he can fight. He can cut other places on his body to the same effect, but it's easiest to use the blades on his forearms as his tail already acts as its own weapon. The blood he uses as a weapon is physically draining from his body as he fights, though, so the more he uses, the weaker he gets. If he uses it too much, he'll faint. At its first stage, he can only create two spikes and cannot expand them. At later stages, he may be able to "web" the weapons, extending them without using extra blood.
ok well... looking at this... the only class who uses weapons are the reapers. so i think his fear might need some fine tuning or permission for him to still be a demon and have a fear that uses a form of a weapon.
also something else i was wondering... like each student is also allowed aside their FEAR ability; one natural ability that comes from their.. being/type... so would his fire element be his natural ability then? because each student can only have one natural and then one fear.. and then as they year up; they get a choice of either an extra ability or improving their existing one. |
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:22 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 10:44 pm
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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2011 6:05 pm
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