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Bleach: Baransu no Kanshu (Recruiting)

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Toya Akatsuki Squad 11 Rank.....*

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Dopy Grimes

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 09, 2011 12:32 pm


Character Information

Name-Toya Akatsuki
Nickname-
Age (Appearance)-26
Actual Age-500
Birth-date- December,1st
Squad- (once approved)
Rank- (once approved)
Reitsu Color-White and black

Appearance

Eye Color- blue
Hair Color- blond
Hair Description- spiky down to the neck.
Height-6'1
Weight-150 lbs
Markings-none

Description-User Image
Extra-A pack of cigars

Personality

Relationships- none
Description-Toya get's angry very easily because he can't remember his past his past very well, he has a natural strength which makes him not aware of his bodie's limit which brakes many of his bones.He has alot of honor and has great courage.
Likes- Smoking
Dislikes-Cowards

Zanpakuto

Spirit's Name-聖ăȘる抛(Dark One)
Sealed Appearance-User Image
Spirit's Description-User Image
Shikai Release Phrase-Bless Me My Lord For I Have Sinned!
Shikai Description-User Image
Abilities-
-Berserk Stage 1(Increases Toya's strength and speed by 10%)

-First Strike(His sword duplicates it self and Atsuma sends a barrage of attack at the opponent)

-Berserk Stage 2(Increases Toya's strength and speed by 20%)

-Second Strike(A third sword appeares and floates besides him and he attacks the opponent with an even stronger barrage of attacks)

-Berserk Stage 3(Increases Toya's strength and speed by 30%)

-Third Strike (A fourth sword appears floating besides him and an even stronger barrage of attacks is sent at the opponent

-Breserk Stage 4(Increases Toya's strength and speed by 40%)

-Swords of Judgment(All four sword shoot at the smae time strong ray of energy at the enemy)

-Berserk Stage 5 Final(Increases Toya's strength and speed by 50% and when it ends Atsumas strength and speed reduces -50%)

-Final Blow(Toya prepares fo a run taking about a minute his swords protect him in that perios of time when he runs he causes huge craters on the ground and lands a disgusting blow on the opponent but, after he can no longer move unless he releases his bankai.)

Bankai Release Phrase-Why Have You Forsaken Me My Lord?
Bankai Description-User Image
Abilities-
-Holy Light(Blind light covers the area where Toya's Zanpakuto is.)

-Holy Armor(A powerful armor covers Toya and protects him from normal attacks.)

-Twilight Clone(A clone with Toya exact same strength that is destroyed if the real Atsuma get hit twice)

-Unholy Darkness(Darkness shrouds the area where Toya's zanpakuto is)

-Unholy Armor(A powerful armor that alows him to make dark clones of himself)

-Armagedon(A self destruct last resort that makes a crater noticable in space destroying Toya's body for a whole year)


Abilities

-Toya can do things a body wouldn't allow but he doesn't have the nerves that do that which causes him to break many bones without noticing,
-Knows boxing and Karate
-Is known to be destructive in battle
History

Human World-Toya was a priest who fell into greed and was killed for saying"The Devil is not evil he has given this man great pleasure and happiness."Not something you should say at his time.
Early Soul Society-In order to use his powers the Soul Society erased part of his memories so that they could use him in the future.
In the 13 Court Guard SquadsToya was led to the 13 Court Guard Squads becuase of his abilities he didn't want to join it was a path the soul society traced for him...
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 11:01 am


done and i can change the gloves if they aren't allowed as Zanpakuto's

Dopy Grimes

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Dopy Grimes

Aged Millionaire

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 2:09 pm


bump
PostPosted: Mon Oct 10, 2011 9:16 pm


The gloves should be fine as zanpaktous take all shapes and forms (given while I am a mod I'm not someone that okay's things so just putting in some outside perspective). I would consider scaling the shikai % buff a bit perhaps as doubling your speed and strength can be a bit much. Perhaps consider making it instead a 50% increase (which is still potent).
Remember shikai's generally aren't even that strong (show for example, includes blasts of energy, longer reaching blades, etc minor tricks where as bankais can get away with the more over the top increases).
Aside from that the bankai looks good (while the final bit is a bit to strong at least it has a heavy drawback which is nice to see since you're including checks and balances).

That said if you can tweak him a bit to be less of a "big power, big destructive" and a bit more "thoughtful controlled destruction" we'd love to have you in squad 6.

Dark Bunny Lord
Crew


Dopy Grimes

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:31 pm


yo can someone look over my character please?!?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:52 pm


I agree with DBL on this. A shikai wouldn't completely double your power.

Lt Twinkle

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Dopy Grimes

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 5:58 pm


then just make it 50% and its cool?
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 6:01 pm


That should be alright. Plus, with that amount of raw power, you would fit in perfectly for Squad 11.

Lt Twinkle

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Dopy Grimes

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 12, 2011 2:48 am


done i'll go the join squad thingy
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