Tell me I'm over reacting, so I can move on

[Dr. H. Lecter]

Every time I meditate, I ask that Hecate will grant we her wisdom, and the Raven will watch over my spirit. During my meditation, I looked inward, trying to find the strength to forgive my father, and not feel hate. During this, I felt a sense of everything dropping out from under me, like I was falling down the stairs. My heart sank, and I heard the words "Sean, I'm pregrant".

Sean is my fathers name. Long story short, he cheated on my mother, drank excessivly after twenty years sober and divorced my mom, marrying his whore girlfriend.

Now, this voice was not in my head. It was right here, a real voice I heard with my own ears. I've never met the woman my father married, I don't even know her name.

I guess, all I need here is for you beautiful brilliant people to tell me that this is simply a manifestation of some deep seated fear that I had yet to recognize in my waking mind.

I bet I didn't even really 'hear' it, either. Chances are, I was just deep in my meditation, and it seemed real because of my introspective state.  

[Talesofbiro]

Why Hecate? If you don't mind me asking.

Plus, why are you trying to forgive your father? It doesn't sound like he's done anything deserving forgiveness.  

[StaticJennifer]

It could be,maybe Hekate is granting you the wisdom,its a matter of if your understanding it right =].  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

I ask Hecate, because I feel drawn to her. I can't explain it, but I guess it's because she's a guide of sorts. And complicated. She's a dark goddess, but teaches that darkness is not evil, but rather mystery and magic.

I walk a path of life, love, healing and peace. I feel the urge to punish, to banish and curse my father. I want nothing more! I want to destroy him, tear down everything he has worked to build, and leave him begging for death! My greatest desire in life is to reduce his worldly kingdom to sand, to see it blown away by the four winds! I want to send Hecates hounds to tear his flesh, want Nemesis to stalk his dreams! I want to unleash all the things of the dark, to make him suffer the way he has made my mother suffer!

I WANT HIM DEAD

But, I refuse to play the villain. I want to to be right in my spirit, and even if he doesn't desirve my forgivness, giving him it is the meaning of grace.  

[StaticJennifer]

Sanzolvr29

Why Hecate? If you don't mind me asking.

Plus, why are you trying to forgive your father? It doesn't sound like he's done anything deserving forgiveness.

whats wrong with Hekate? if i may ask? ^^  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

Rei_Isayama

It could be,maybe Hekate is granting you the wisdom,its a matter of if your understanding it right =].

I've never been afraid of Hecate before... I've always respected her, honored the dark and magic. But frankly, I always thought I flew under the radar. It's frightening to think I could have been answered by someone so powerful, she was considered second only to Zeus.

(Never understood why she fell to a 'lesser' goddess, to be honest)  

[StaticJennifer]

Dr. H. Lecter

Rei_Isayama

It could be,maybe Hekate is granting you the wisdom,its a matter of if your understanding it right =].

I've never been afraid of Hecate before... I've always respected her, honored the dark and magic. But frankly, I always thought I flew under the radar. It's frightening to think I could have been answered by someone so powerful, she was considered second only to Zeus.

(Never understood why she fell to a 'lesser' goddess, to be honest)

who knows ^^,she is consider great to me  

[Talesofbiro]

Rei_Isayama

Sanzolvr29

Why Hecate? If you don't mind me asking.

Plus, why are you trying to forgive your father? It doesn't sound like he's done anything deserving forgiveness.

whats wrong with Hekate? if i may ask? ^^

Nothing. I was just curious, I thought Hecate was more of the vengeful goddess who was all about justice.

@Lecter- I still don't really understand how that makes you the villain. It seems natural to feel that way. Coming to terms and accepting the situation before trying to forgive him, it might be easier. Sorry if I'm over stepping.
Back to your original question, it's possible that it could be a fear. But if you truly heard the voice, I wouldn't think so. It's hard for someone on the outside to really say what happened, we weren't there or experienced it. Try meditating on it again and see if something happens again.  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

Hecate is a wisdom and magic goddess, who teaches to respect the dark, for only when we understand it can we embrace life and live fully and without fear. Nemesis is the goddess of revenge and justice.

I guess in a way, it doesn't make me the villain... but I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be venemous and mean, and if someone wrongs me, I don't think I should return in kind, or lash out with some kind of spell. Above all else, I want to walk the path of harmony and peace.

And don't worry, you're not overstepping any bounds.

I guess I'll try medetating on it again... though I'm a little afraid. Perhaps... I'll ask Hecate to guide my hand while I read my tarrot cards? My spirit is a buzz in a storm, I don't know if I'll calm myself to meditate effectivly...  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

Rei_Isayama

Dr. H. Lecter

Rei_Isayama

It could be,maybe Hekate is granting you the wisdom,its a matter of if your understanding it right =].

I've never been afraid of Hecate before... I've always respected her, honored the dark and magic. But frankly, I always thought I flew under the radar. It's frightening to think I could have been answered by someone so powerful, she was considered second only to Zeus.

(Never understood why she fell to a 'lesser' goddess, to be honest)

who knows ^^,she is consider great to me

I think I read something about it in a book in my schools library... something about some of her temples being lost? I don't think thats the right wording, though... A temple can be destroyed, but lost? I'll have to look at it again after class...  

[X-Yami-no-Ko-X]

If you don't mind me asking, what's your source on Hecate being a goddess of wisdom? I've never heard Her called that before.  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

I'm not sure. I beleive it's the same book at my college. I do have a website with some info, but I don't always attribute much accuracy to the internet. -_-'

Until I can go search for that book again, should I at least dig up that website?  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

X
If you click the back button, there is more info.  

[X-Yami-no-Ko-X]

Hitting back killed that site for me.
The first page you linked looked really good for it being a personal site but then hitting back. I shuddered.

I was told Theoi was an excellent source for the Greek Pantheon.  

[Dr. H. Lecter]

lol
Thats why I linked the page I did, not it's sibling. It has a good bit of info... but with no sources, I'm not comfortable trusting it at face value.

Theoi is a website, I take it? I'll have to look into it.