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 Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:15 am
It felt good to be home again. Home where the lands were moist and the sun more kind in its touch. Back where he could find comfort from recent events and move on despite how hard it seemed to be to do so.
Sometimes Beshtetu felt ashamed that his daughter seemed to be taking the loss better than he was. Even still, he tried to get on with things as he normally would, trying to keep himself occupied with his normal pride duties and routine. It helped to keep busy and his father wouldn't have wanted him to be sad.
There was, of course, another thing on his mind. And that was breaking the news to his son when he returned with his new name. It was bound to come as a shock and he felt cold dread at how they'd tell him. He'd never been much good with words and he did not want to leave that duty to his mate or his daughter alone. Maybe it would be better if they were all there when they broke the news to him.
There was much strength to be found in family.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:44 am
The sun was bright, the air was warm and Kimya was happy to be home. She had been even quieter than normal since they returned from the Pridelands, having many worries about many different things on her mind since Amari passed away. Most importantly, she was worried about Beshtetu. He fell back into routine nicely but she could see how hard he was taking it, and she knew only time would make it easier. So she was as supportive as she could be.
Having lost track of her mate earlier in the morning, Kimya lay in the sunshine near their den, dozing and waiting for him to return. The day was starting out rather peacefully.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:49 am
He came into view a moment later, lifting his head to spy her relaxing there in the sunshine. The sight of her had a small smile lighting his face and, with a low rumble of greeting, he trudged over to join her, laying down slowly by her side. He was so grateful for her company; for her supporting presence. He was not sure how he would have coped without her there at his side.
"Have you had a good day?" He asked, wondering what she had been spending her time doing. Then, with his first question spoken, he shifted himself more comfortably on the grass and exhaled with relief. It was good to take the weight off of his paws.
"Sorry I haven't been around much today. I went to help out with one of the hunting parties to check out the herds."
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:54 am
Her ears twitched and her eyes fluttered open when Beshtetu's footsteps became apparent. She smiled up at him as he laid down beside her, leaning against him comfortably.
"Don't worry," she said, nuzzling him before leaning back a bit to converse more comfortably, "It's been a very quiet day. Did you find the herds nearby?" Hunting could be tricky around the swamps but the smaller things closer to home were hardly enough to feed the pride.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:59 am
He gave a low purr as she settled against him and leaned in a little. "We didn't have much luck with tracking them, unfortunately. Some of the others continued on, but I didn't want to stay away from the lands too long so I headed back. Perhaps we'll hear better news later on."
He gave a short breath and let his eyes flick out across the terrain. "I'm glad to be back. Strange, though...I never thought I'd ever feel more at home in a land that wasn't the place of my birth." In fact, the Pridelands had seemed to have gained a shadow over it now. For Beshtetu, it was a sad and empty place.
"Do you...do you think the beliefs the Jini-msemi hold dear apply to those outside of the lands, too? With those who think something else entirely?"
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:10 pm
"Ah," she said, smiling when he reported their findings, "Hopefully." It would take more than a day of bad luck in hunting to cause any serious concern but it was still a shame to hear, and it could be frustrating when you spent your day not finding anything.
Then the subject changed and Kimya was surprised. She didn't have the same sentimental attachment to the Pridelands, she had been born a rogue and raised in the Jini-msemi.. but she had always known this wasn't so simple a move for her mate when he had agreed to come here with her, and she never stopped appreciating it.
She only smiled at him, not getting a chance to comment before he asked about the beliefs of the pride.
"Yes," she said confidently after a thoughtful pause, "Why shouldn't it?"
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:51 pm
He had been homesick at first and a little worried about moving to a place he wasn't familiar with. But he was glad he had made the jump with Kimya to settle elsewhere. He truly meant it when he said that this place was his home now.
"The Pridelands...do not believe in the spirits as we do. I guess...I wondered whether it wouldn't apply to them, when their faith lies elsewhere." Though, he supposed there were similarities between the beliefs. After all, the Pridelands believed that life continued, that in death, more life was created. They just failed to mention spirits.
"I...don't want to think of my dad as just being...gone. You know? But I'm not sure he even followed the Prideland beliefs."
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 12:58 pm
"His spirit is with the earth now until it is ready to rejoin the living," she said confidently, though carefully and smiling reassuringly at her mate, "We offered what proper funeral we could in the circumstances."
It was hard to describe without risking implication that their beliefs might not be right. Kimya truly believed in the spirits, and she didn't imagine that just because one did not believe it that it did not apply to them. Amari had a spirit and, provided with the proper funeral rites, his lack of belief while living did not change that his spirit continued.
"Do you believe it?" she asked.
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Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2012 12:27 pm
"We did." It had been a fine funeral. More than fine, in fact. If it had been him in Amari's position, fading through to eternal sleep with his beloved ones all around him he couldn't imagine a better way to go.
At her question of his own belief, the golden lion lifted his head and looked across at his mate. His eyes were sad but they seemed to strengthen with resolve. "Yes. I do believe it. He...doesn't feel gone. You know? Like...it feels as if he is still here, waiting to return to the living - as you say." He seemed comforted by the admission of that.
"I can't believe that life simply...ends. A spirit doesn't die as a body does. A spirit doesn't age." He leaned against her a little more. And then, as an afterthought he added. "I think he's okay. I...I still miss him, but..." He swallowed sadly. "Wherever he is now. I think he'll be happy."
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Posted: Thu Mar 29, 2012 1:10 pm
Kimya sighed sadly and leaned back against Beshtetu as he slowly concluded that Amari was OK even if he was so missed. It was reassuring to her, too, to hear him agree with her belief.
"I think so, too," she said quietly, "He was ready, you could see that."
It was sad to consider but it was better that he was mentally prepared for his own death, it was probably something nobody could understand until they were at that point themselves. There was a short, thoughtful pause before the spoke up again.
"Are you OK?"
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:21 am
Was he okay?
"I...don't know. I'm...feeling better after talking about it with you but...it's still difficult, knowing he's not there any more. Knowing that I'll never see him again." And he turned pained eyes towards his mate, shaking his head slowly. "And what are we going to tell our son?" He felt cold dread at the thought of it. "He saw his grandpa and left him without knowing what was coming."
He swallowed and looked away. "I'm worried about how he might react, knowing that he didn't...that he wasn't here."
He dragged a paw over his face and sighed deeply. "It feels like we haven't seen him in so long, either."
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:31 pm
It hurt to hear him hesitate, to know that even if he really was OK, he didn't feel it. She didn't think he'd ever stop missing his father but he would move on, he would have to. It was miserable to imagine, and adding absent children to the mix only made it worse. She sighed sadly at the mention of how long Amali had been gone before she could stop herself.
"He'll be OK," she said, trying but failing to sound as confident as she had been before, "Amali will be home soon, and whatever happens we will be there for him."
Kimya didn't even want to consider the possibility that he might go back to the Pridelands before returning to the swamps. If he couldn't find his name soon, he might circle back to it.. or he might try to visit all of his grandparents there before heading home in the end. At least he wouldn't be alone if he did go there.
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 12:47 pm
It was probably for the best that Beshtetu had not considered that Amali might head back to the Pridelands. The idea of it might have sent him into a blind panic.
"I hope he's alright. I miss having the kids around. They grew up too fast, didn't they?" He shifted again, thinking back to when the three of them had been so small. Playing in the mud. Chasing frogs. Dashing around the lands with all that enthusiastic energy.
"It's scary really...how quickly time goes without us truly realising it." Just like he'd never really noticed the greying fur on his father's muzzle. To him his dad had just been dad. He'd not seen him as ageing or old. He felt weary just considering how fleeting their lives in this form were.
And who was to say that he would ever see his loved ones again once his spirit had left the earth?
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:03 pm
Discussing time and mortality was a depressing topic, but he wasn't wrong. The time between the birth of their cubs and the departure for their name quests seemed so short, and even now while it seemed that Amali had been gone forever.. time still seemed so fast.
"Very true," she murmured thoughtfully, "But that's why we make the most of all the time we have."
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Posted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:10 pm
"Yes." He replied softly, realising how true that was. They needed to make the most of every day. To live without regret. At least, if they managed that, they could pass on as contentedly as they could.
He tucked his muzzle up under her chin and exhaled softly, letting his eyes fall closed. "Life is too precious to waste. We'll have to live it to its fullest from now on."
/fin
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