|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:51 am
Galning was asleep wearing a woven grass headband.
He'd come home tired and Yolla had greeted him wearing a strangely woven band around his head. It wasn't as well-made as the ones the pride's crafters or their apprentices made, being lumpy and uneven with bits and ends sticking out here and there, but when he presented a marginally neater band to Galning with a hopeful expression Solv had no choice but to don it. Yolla told him it would bring him good dreams.
At least it was better than the truly weird zebra head hat his son had made him a few weeks back that he claimed would keep him from getting hungover. That thing was a monstrosity. But since his son had made it, Galning wore it sometimes. It made Yolla happy, and Galning figured it was part of his duty as an improved Stormborn to do things to make his son happy from time to time.
His dreams were unremarkable, by the way.
_____
Staggeringly drunk, Solv was doing his best to sneak but Gunnar was having none of that. Apparently that wasn't how reavers did things. Apparently reavers shouted things and alerted their foes to their presence before making their move. This didn't fit in with Solv's plans, but there was no stopping Gunnar as he shouted for Galning to give them a hat and tail.
Well...Might as well join them. Even though he had just beaten him in a battle of poetry.
"Yes! We want hats and tails! Come forth and issue our treasure or prepare to do battle!" Actually, that was kind of fun. Maybe issuing challenges in a straightforward fashion wasn't so bad after all.
He wasn't so far gone that he didn't mutter to Gunnar, "If he comes out swinging, you've got this, right?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:21 pm
As they marched along to Galning's den, Gunnar had begun to feel a surge of confidence. He was hammered, yes, but he was a reaver. He could beat this Galning drunk just as easily as he could sober. Who was Galning anyways? Just some outlander, when you came right down to it! He was a reaver now, but he had probably been a ... a ... a flower-picker, or something, before he lucked his way into the Stormborn.
"Yes, come out!" Gunnar roared, echoing Solvtorn. "This is an official raid, like, so make with the treasure or we'll rip your face off and use that for a hat!"
Bold words for a lion gently weaving to and fro as he stood.
"I can handle this," Gunnar said to Solv, smugly. "If he doesn't give us our treasure, you sneak in while he's fighting me and take it!"
It was sheer brilliance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:43 pm
Galning snorted and rolled over, determined to sleep through the sound of carousing outside his den. Unfortunately, some of the celebrants were calling his name and it was very difficult to sleep through such things. Except somehow Yolla seemed to have managed it, as he saw when he cracked open one blue eye and glanced at his cub, who was sleeping fitfully.
With a sleepy snarl the reaver lurched to his feet and stumbled to the mouth of his den, his footfalls heavy and graceless. When he reached the mouth and squinted out into the darkness he thought he recognized one of the figures outside, the bulkier one, but the more slender lion was not known to him. He yawned toothily.
"What, by the stormlords' sweaty, salty balls is the matter with you two?" he demanded.
_____
Solv nodded. He liked Gunnar's plan. Sneaking was something he was pretty good at doing, and Gunnar was pretty good at fighting. Between the two of them, they would get him his magical hangover-be-gone hat.
"There he is!" he shouted excitedly into Gunnar's ear, convinced that he was whispering. "Get him!"
Himself, he was going to hang back until his six feet reduced to four. Then he would get on with the sneaking and stealing part of the plan. As he stared at his feet his stomach began to roil.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:56 pm
Gunnar blinked slowly, trying to concentrate on keeping his feet in order while he waited for Galning to show up. Fiiiiinally, the dark-coated lion popped his head out. It was actually difficult to tell what color Galning was. Gunnar's eyeballs felt dried out, and the world kept blurring and shifting. Galning's coat markings were becoming one big yellowy-green smear.
"You look like a lettuce," Gunnar remarked, before spurred on by the shout that drilled into his skull.
The blond reaver liked lunging at his enemies to try and knock them down. It was a move he was quite good at; one that was usually unexpected and frequently succeeded. Lunging was maybe not such a great choice in this situation. While Gunnar thought that he was leaping towards Galning swiftly and gracefully, it looked more like an awkward shambling lurch accompanied by a senseless flailing of paws.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:14 pm
Oh, drunks.
Galning had spent enough of his time being drunk that probably this was some sort of karmic retribution for the times he'd done this or something like it to other Stormborn. He shook his head and tried to get his mane out of his eyes. It wasn't behaving. He knew he shouldn't have gone for a swim before bed.
"Well you look like pine cones and vomit," he retorted without much enthusiasm. "Go home."
Clearly reason wasn't going to do s**t though, because Gunnar was lunging toward him while his skinny companion stared at his feet. Galning was more annoyed by the skinny spotted lion than he was by Gunnar. Spots was clearly the instigator and he wasn't even helping Gunnar out.
"Hey!" he exclaimed as he hopped sluggishly to one side, only to get smacked in the face with a paw. "Ow!"
_____
Solv shifted his gaze to watch Gunnar's attack. He saw it for what it was and couldn't help snickering. Probably he could do better than that. Though he had no intention of trying it. That wasn't the plan.
"Braaaap!" he belched, relieving the discomfort in his gut.
That was the signal. He sidled closer to the two combatants and peered into the darkness. Wasn't there supposed to be a cub or something like that? He would have to watch out for the little anklebiter while he was in there snatching the magic hat.
"Knock his block off, Gunnar," he cheered.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:21 pm
Galning's sass bounced off Gunnar's alcohol-fueled high spirits. He was impervious to insults, just as he was impervious to pain or fear.
He was invincible.
His mighty paw slammed into Galning's face with the force of a hurricane, probably even breaking the dark lion's jaw. It was a surprise that Galning hadn't been knocked unconscious with that single blow, really.
"Give up and I'll go easy on you, wretch!" Gunnar announced, raising that threatening paw again. This threw him off balance, making him wobble alarmingly. He waved his paw theatrically at Solv with a loud "Shhhh! Go get that hat while he's distracted!"
Gunnar aimed another flailing smack at Galning, just in case the darker lion hadn't heeded whatever it was Gunnar had just said.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:31 pm
"Dude. What the ********?" Galning muttered, shaking his head. Gunnar's strike may not have been delivered as though from the stormlords' hammers, but it had hit and hit had hurt. His head throbbed a little.
It was probably the throbbing that allowed him to parse Gunnar's drunken slurring to his partner down into something about a hat. A...hat? Briefly he wondered if they meant the woven crown Yolla had made, but then he realized what they meant. They meant the thing.
"You...want my zebra skull hat with the flowers?" he asked, hoping to clarify matters somewhat as the skinny, squirmy one with the spots tried to sneak past him. He side-stepped again to block the attempt to invade his den.
How was Yolla sleeping through this?
_____
Solv lunged into the darkness, ready to deal with any anklebiters that might emerge to challenge him. It wouldn't be as worthy a battle as Gunnar's against Galning, but it would still be a battle, and he could turn the cub into something else. Maybe a gnome or a dwarf.
Suddenly his way was blocked by Galning's more solid body and he was forced to listen to the outlander's funny accent as he talked. Solv hated outlanders. He really did. They spoke wrong and thought wrong and just didn't understand anything. They didn't deserve magic hats.
"The hat is mine by right," he said. "And we are willing to kill you for it if you won't surrender."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 5:42 pm
"We want your magic hat," Gunnar replied, fixing Galning with a bloodshot stare. Not being a very fashion-conscious lion, Gunnar generally didn't pay attention to hats and things of that nature. But he trusted Solv to know whether or not this zebra hat was magic! A magic hat would be a worthwhile prize.
The thought of killing another reaver made him vaguely uncomfortable even through the alcohol that clouded his mind, but Solv was just making a threat. Yeah. It was a pretty good threat too! Galning would probably give up the magic hat any second now.
"That's right, we'll kill you if you don't give us our hat," Gunnar said. Somewhere deep down he realized he was beginning to sound like Solvtorn's henchman, but as his own brain was slowly dissolving he was willing to let Solv be the brains of the operation for now.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:05 pm
Galning surveyed his drunken callers speculatively. He could turn this to his advantage. He didn't know how they had gotten the idea that his zebra hat was magical, but if they wanted it...
"I see. You two seem very set on this. Unfortunately, because it's a magic hat it can't be won through battle. It has to be won through cleverness. I get to pose you a challenge - a mental challenge - and if you complete it, I must give you the hat."
As he spoke Galning felt very clever until he realized that he was still dealing with drunks. They thought it was clever to say "butts" three times fast. At least he had always found that the peak of humor when he was drunk. Nothing was funnier than butts. There was no way he could come up with a test of wits that they could win in their present state.
_____
Solv licked his lips, not minding Galning so much for this moment. Didn't the meathead reaver realize that he could not even begin to hope to challenge Solv's mighty intellect? The hat was in the bag!
"This is great," he told Gunner in an undertone that wasn't the least bit quiet. "Soon the hat will be mine - ours! - and we can go on to the tail getting part of the plan."
He turned back to Galning and struck a confident pose like what he imagined the heroes of the Stormborn sagas would strike. The effect was spoiled somewhat by the fact that he stepped on his own paw and had to sit down abruptly to save himself from falling over.
"We accept your challenge!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:10 pm
Gunnar shifted his paws restlessly -- and clumsily -- when Galning came up with the 'mental challenge'. He was finding it quite enough of a mental challenge staying upright and speaking without slurring his words overly much.
And, of course, Gunnar wasn't very good at cleverness at the best of times.
An uncharacteristic wave of gloom swept through the reaver. He nodded to Solvtorn as the bard accepted the challenge. Of course Solvtorn would be clever, even if he was hammered Thor-style. Sometimes it seemed like everyone was cleverer than Gunnar, but it was somehow worse when it was your own friend showing you up all the time.
Feeling extremely maudlin, which was not at all how he normally felt and certainly not a word he would have recognized, Gunnar sniffled audibly. " 'sright, Solvtorn's smarter than you. Might as well just give over that hat now so we can all go home." And feel sorry for ourselves.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2012 7:40 pm
"Er..."
Truth be told, Galning wasn't all that clever either. He liked to think that he was and he tried to be clever and quick with snappy replies, but that was only when he wasn't trying to be mature and grown up. He was very quick with the replies and the wit when he was being an immature a**. And when he was fully awake.
"All right. Three questions!" He didn't wait for them to agree or disagree before starting in with the questions.
"What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?"
There. They really shouldn't be able to screw those up. He had no way of knowing if they answered rightly or wrongly, so even if they somehow answered incorrectly, he could claim they had the right answer. That hat was as good as gone.
_____
Solv watched Galning suspiciously. The lion was an outlander and a reaver. There was really no telling what he would ask or think was clever. Even so, as long as he didn't try to cheat, there was no way he could outsmart Solv. That hat was as good as his.
At least that was what he thought until he heard the questions. At which point his eyes narrowed so much he could no longer see Galning at all and had to open them again. There had to be a trick here. Those questions weren't a test of wits. They were just...questions.
"Solvtorn Rostovson. I seek the magic anti-hangover hat. Grey."
There. He'd answered. He nudged Gunnar and settled back to wait.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2012 5:38 pm
Thoughts were popping and fizzling wearily in Gunnar's brain. The longer this confrontation went on, the more his rational thinking processes seemed to dissolve. It was understandable, really. Gunnar's head had become a hostile environment.
Galning's questions seemed vastly difficult. Probably trick questions, really. He sat and blinked stupidly at Galning until Solv nudged him. Then he cleared his throat, shook out his mane, and fixed Galning with a bloodshot glare sure to strike terror into the outlander's heart.
"Gunnar Thorgrimson. We came for tail. And uh. A zebra's head." Pause. No one had ever asked him what his favorite color was before. It sounded like a test designed to trap unwary flower-blooded reavers. Galning was messing with the wrong lion. An irrational surge of righteous wrath swept through Gunnar. How dare Galning! "My fav'rit color's red, like your blood, friend!" Gunnar yelled, swiping out with one manly paw of justice.
He then overbalanced and fell on his face.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 5:41 am
Galning didn't know if they had given him the correct answers or not. He suspected their names were all right. They didn't look that drunk, despite Gunnar falling over. And really their quest was pretty self-explanatory, as far as that went. He didn't give two farts what their favorite colors actually were.
"Oh no!" he melodramatized in an undertone. He didn't want to wake Yolla. "I am defeated. You have won the magic hat from me. Just give me a moment to fetch it."
He could barely stop himself from grinning. Oh, he would be getting rid of that horrible, creepy hat. His paws practically itched to dance a gleeful jig. It would be so nice to get the thing out of his den.
When he returned he barely touched the hat, scooting it along the ground with one paw. The thing seriously creeped him out. He hoped Yolla did not decide that crafting was the future he wanted, and that this was representative of all his work. It would be difficult to be supportive if that was the case.
"Here you go. Now be off."
_____
Solv snatched at the hat as soon as he saw it, having watched anxiously as Galning disappeared into his den. With Gunnar apparently down for the count, it would have fallen to him to retrieve the hat if Galning had tried anything tricksy, and Solv wasn't looking for that sort of violence in his life.
"Yes! It's mine!" he crowed.
He butted Gunnar's head with his own. "Look! We got it. I'll let you borrow it whenever you have a hangover you need to get rid of, because you were really helpful in getting it back. Probably we should go now."
And then he plopped the zebra head onto his own and began to weave back and forth on the way to his den. It was harder to balance the hat than he'd expected. Particularly while singing, "Weee are the champions, my fraaaans!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2012 2:22 pm
Thoroughly anesthetized as he was, the fall to the ground didn't hurt much. Solv's headbutt and mention of hangovers hurt, though. He groaned, scrubbing at his face with his paws. Hangovers. He was all right now (sort of), but he surely had one hell of a hangover to look forward to in the morning. Oh joyous day.
Gunnar staggered to his feet and started after Solvtorn. He was having trouble remembering why Solv had wanted the hat in the first place. Oh right. It was magic, apparently.
It was awfully ugly and stupid-looking, though. Gunnar hoped no one saw Solvtorn wearing the thing. You could hardly say it looked flowery, but it was ... it was something special. One of a kind, hopefully.
Gunnar stumbled and decided to concentrate on his own feet instead of worrying about Solvtorn's hat. He had bigger things to worry about than Solvtorn's fashion sense ... including the hangover that was sure to be waiting for him in the morning.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
