The fact that he had to bring meat home. Was something he wasn't used to doing until N'gombe proimsed to stay. That promise was broken. He had mouths to feed now.. N'gombe's mouths to feed. The only piece of her he had left. These, were her kids.. But months and months passed and the stress from them- and the missions and his inner self started to breakdown and become unstable. The only daughter he regnoized was 'Amour'. But the relationship was sickening.
On one side, he ultimately loved her more, while the other side was left to suffercate her and keep her locked away so she wouldn't leave. But often more times than none, he would seek her out but in his outbursts.. she would be the first one he'd lash out on as well.
"Amour!" He called out, almost barking after he dropped the meat down. Her, name also meant for the others to come out and eat also.
Amour shuttered at the should of her fathers voice, it was so could and demanding; the young cub shook from the fear. The time she spent in the cave was just becoming one long nightmare. She has only left the den once... and when she did she got in trouble.. but it was because daddy loved her... alot.
She didn't know why her father was so displeased with her. She just wanted to have freedom like her sisters.They would always get the better end of the stick because daddy didnt pay as much attention to them like he did with her. It just wasn't fair... Maybe she would talk to daddy about leaving one day with her sisters...
She walked out from the back of the den after her sisters as her father called her. "Yes daddy?" She said questining his call for her, although she already knew what it was for.
He watched the darkness, and though, out of the corner of his eye could see small black figures come to the meat.. He only wanted to see one. Then a slightly pleased sigh left him but it was masked with his ever grudging facial expression. "Dinner." It was a demand. Then he ripped her off a leg, almost entirely for herself as the others had to share for one. He, on the other hand slowly came to her and curled a few feet away from her. Almost to be singled out. Ears back as he examined them eating. "Try to get more in this time. You can't afford to be so skinny." The side comment was unnessassary but he gave it anyways. Then looked away for a moment to absorb in the mission he had to come to grips with.
Amour walked over to the leg that was for her, which was near her father... She gave a forced smile to please her father. "Thank you daddy." She said taking a seat by the leg. She tore into the leg to please her father, but she looed over at her sisters... She was skinny because she didnt want her sisters to starve... it wasnt fair for them to have to share when she had it all for herself.
She was chewing her dinner when he father mentioned how skinny she was... Maybe it was a sign that she had to talk to him... She was getting old enough now that she could start to learn to hunt... like the other cubs in the pride... It would be helpful because then everyone would have enough to eat...
She hesitently looked at him and took a deep breath. "Daddy, maybe i could hunt with you...to learn about the outside world and stuff...." She said sheepishly.
The mission then somehow turned to missing N'gombe being here.. Which lead him off in to what seemed like an abyss of memories. Ignoring his daughter for the moment because of them before he zoned in on one of her words. 'Outside' which brought back the memories of N'gombe 'escaping' her first time- which made him snap up and swipe/slap Amour across the face. A silence grew between them... and over the entire den.. Espoir jumped and almost coiled around Amour. "Are you ok?" Her voice in worry.
The sight was sickening.. No one- touches Amour. No one. "DON"T TOUCH HER!" He growled at gripped her sister off her, causing her to be flung in the opposite direction where the other scattered away to when he started to yell. There was usually no telling what he would do..
For a moment he stared at the small soft, gentle white and brown face that reminded him so much of N'gombe.. "You know I don't like that word..You are safe here." Slowly coming up to her, bringing her close and softly grooming her, an attempt to. "There is no need for you to go outside. "
Amour felt the heat of her fathers paw across her face and by reaction tears began to swell in her eyes. She was scared, she upset daddy again. She looked down until she heard her sister call out for her. Shelooked to see her sister coil around her and she felt safe... but only for that brief second..
After that she felt her father rip away her sister and get flung across the room. "Espy!!" Amour called, she was scared more for her sister then herself at this moment. She looked between her father and her sister, both loved her... She wanted to help her sister but her father ... her father....
She felt the dead heat of her fathers body holding her... She knew this was all her fault.... "Yes... daddy... you're right like always...." She said never taking her sight off her sister... "Its was a silly thought...your all i need..." She said only to please him... She wanted to cry but she knew that would cause more harm then good...
Espoir's body didn't move for a few good minutes. Having slammed her head against a rock, and a squeak was let out. Noir didn't much care for the cub he had flung. No, he didn't care about any of them except Amour.. and that showed with his slight affection, which wasn't much- but enough to show whom he favored most. "Good." His voice was firm. "You stay away from prying eyes. You don't leave the den. That's all I ask.. and you will have everything.." Just like N'gombe did. Everything, everything he had- he gave to her.. and now she was dead.
Softly he licked the top of her head. "Did I ever tell you... you look just like your mother.." You could hear the lonliness he seeped out with just those words alone. Yes, he had said it- and so many times.. but it felt like to him, he had to relive it as if it was his first time. Holding this cub.. was so dear to him.. "She was beautiful.."
Amour nodded, "Yes daddy, It's safe here..." She said. She was being pulled everywhere, she wanted to help her sister but... she feared what he would do to her... So she said to make it happy... it was all to make him happy...
She didnt know much about her mother, Amour looked up at her father when he started talking. He never spoke of their mother often... and now it was clear why... she didnt want to ask questions because it would upset him...
It was becomming clear thats why he loved her so much, she reminded him of her... It was the way she looked... She was kind of angry at her mother now, because of her she lived like this...
"But daddy... i will never be like mommy." She accidently let slip out... She paused wishing she could take it back...take it ALL back....
He was now pleased, for the moment.. And with her words, it assured him that she was understanding him. That she would stay with him and that was that. Although, she was distracted, it was to be expected from a cub he had heard before. While Amour was being snuggled, she lifted herself up finally and wobbled just a little.. Looking up at her.. a smile, with something dripping down the corner of her maw. Blood, not from the meat.. but from her.A smile softly surfaced.. 'dont worry' look.
But once again her words stopped him in his tracked. Although, usually an answer like that would set him off but this time it hadn't. "Mm..unlike her- you won't leave." Giving her the gaze of his eyes.. "You won't decide to disappear when I need you most. No- you won't because your here.. and its different." Clearly signs of their mother's sadness living on within him.
"She disobeyed me far too many times. You won't do that... No. You won't." His words seemed more like orders.. But then he had a memory of N'gombe. "She was beautiful.."
Amour was happy to see her sister get up, it made her let out a sigh of relief. Although the blood that came from her maw was unsettling... Even though her sister gave her tht look... that look she has seen many time before it didnt make her feel any better...
She looked up at her father, he seemed almost in a trance like state... like he wasnt completly there... "Yes daddy... im always her for you..." She said nuzzling him...
Although the more he spoke the more she worried... Her fathers words were unsettling, like he had a dark secret about her mother... All she could gather from earlier was she left... but now... She didnt know...The more he spoke the more Amour wondered what really happened to her mother...
-fin-
