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 Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 12:49 pm
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Hi, I'm new.
Ever since I started dating I noticed I lacked a sex drive. I find men attractive, yes, but not "oh, I want to have sex with them!" attractive. I thought I was a freak or I had some weird hormone imbalance. After all, all humans are supposed to enjoy sex, right? Boyfriends would wonder WTF was up with me and feel inadequate and ugly because of me, when it really wasn't their fault at all. I posted something on Life Issues about it and people said I might be asexual. I said "No, that's impossible, I still find men attractive! If I was asexual I wouldn't find anyone attractive, right?" and they said that it was totally possible for me to still want to have romantic relationships, just not sexual ones.
I feel like the odd one out of my friends. I'm the only one who doesn't care about sex. I feel bad for my boyfriend too (who I haven't told about this), because he wonders why I never want to fool around. It's just not something I'm interested in. I'm 20 btw.
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Posted: Sun Mar 17, 2013 8:33 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 5:39 am
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 4:11 pm
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Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2013 8:33 pm
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br0wneyed-babe Sarcasdick Running through the monsoon,beyond the world ...
I feel the same way. Not sure if Asexual or Nonlibidoist. I get romantically involved with people, but I don't really have a sex-drive.
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... I thought that too. But when I look at a guy, I don't think "Wow, I would hit that." and fantasize about dirty things like some people do. I just look at him and say "Wow, that is an attractive man." when I imagine sex with that person, it just doesn't compute.
Running through the monsoon,beyond the world ...
That is EXACTLY how I feel. o.o I thought I was like, the only one, cause most of my friends are out and about having happy sex lives and none of them quite understood.
They get points for trying to though. lol
I feel not so alone now. c:
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... |
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2013 12:32 pm
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Sarcasdick br0wneyed-babe Sarcasdick Running through the monsoon,beyond the world ...
I feel the same way. Not sure if Asexual or Nonlibidoist. I get romantically involved with people, but I don't really have a sex-drive.
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... I thought that too. But when I look at a guy, I don't think "Wow, I would hit that." and fantasize about dirty things like some people do. I just look at him and say "Wow, that is an attractive man." when I imagine sex with that person, it just doesn't compute.
That is EXACTLY how I feel. o.o I thought I was like, the only one, cause most of my friends are out and about having happy sex lives and none of them quite understood.
They get points for trying to though. lol
I feel not so alone now. c:
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ...
Same biggrin
There's a website called AVEN (asexuality.org) if you wanna poke around more. |
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Posted: Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:24 pm
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I don't know if I'm asexual (because when I'm alone I can get aroused and, like, y'know, I do enjoy pleasuring myself) but I certainly have no interest whatsoever in having sex with other people anymore.
It kind of sucks. My relationship is failing miserably because, I dunno. One day I just didn't give a s**t about sex anymore.
I feel really, really bad for my boyfriend.
He has a pretty overactive libido, and I can't keep up at all.
He always says stuff like
"Wow, wish I had a girlfriend that actually, y'know, has sex with me"
or he'll say
"Why am I even dating you? So I can feel ugly and alone all the time?"
All I can really do is apologize over and over and over again.
It makes me feel like s**t.
I just don't want to have sex, at all. Ever.
But I also want to keep my boyfriend. We've been living together for almost 2 years and it's starting to get pretty tense because of my lack of sex drive.I really wish we could just have a relationship that wasn't centered around sex. It hurts, it's uncomfortable, it takes too long, I have to shower right after- there's just so many negative things.
I feel like I'm going to lose everything just because I don't want to get plowed every day.
It sucks, it sucks, it suuuuuuuuuucks.
It's like- I'd cry, but.
I'm already too exhausted. |
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Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2013 2:40 pm
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br0wneyed-babe Sarcasdick br0wneyed-babe Sarcasdick Running through the monsoon,beyond the world ...
I feel the same way. Not sure if Asexual or Nonlibidoist. I get romantically involved with people, but I don't really have a sex-drive.
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... I thought that too. But when I look at a guy, I don't think "Wow, I would hit that." and fantasize about dirty things like some people do. I just look at him and say "Wow, that is an attractive man." when I imagine sex with that person, it just doesn't compute.
That is EXACTLY how I feel. o.o I thought I was like, the only one, cause most of my friends are out and about having happy sex lives and none of them quite understood.
They get points for trying to though. lol
I feel not so alone now. c:
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... Same biggrin There's a website called AVEN (asexuality.org) if you wanna poke around more.
Running through the monsoon,beyond the world ...
Thank you, I totally will c:
to the end of time,where the rain won't hurt ... |
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 7:19 pm
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- Miracle Herb - I don't know if I'm asexual (because when I'm alone I can get aroused and, like, y'know, I do enjoy pleasuring myself) but I certainly have no interest whatsoever in having sex with other people anymore.
It kind of sucks. My relationship is failing miserably because, I dunno. One day I just didn't give a s**t about sex anymore.
I feel really, really bad for my boyfriend.
He has a pretty overactive libido, and I can't keep up at all.
He always says stuff like
"Wow, wish I had a girlfriend that actually, y'know, has sex with me"
or he'll say
"Why am I even dating you? So I can feel ugly and alone all the time?"
All I can really do is apologize over and over and over again.
It makes me feel like s**t.
I just don't want to have sex, at all. Ever.
But I also want to keep my boyfriend. We've been living together for almost 2 years and it's starting to get pretty tense because of my lack of sex drive.I really wish we could just have a relationship that wasn't centered around sex. It hurts, it's uncomfortable, it takes too long, I have to shower right after- there's just so many negative things.
I feel like I'm going to lose everything just because I don't want to get plowed every day.
It sucks, it sucks, it suuuuuuuuuucks.
It's like- I'd cry, but.
I'm already too exhausted.
Asexuality can be a huge lump of confusion. Asexual peoples can still enjoy masturbation. It's more of an inherent lack of sexual drive or a lack of sexual attraction towards people. Asexual people can still experience arousal and can even have kinks. They've just got no sexual attraction towards people.
If your boyfriend is complaining about you not wanting to have sex, it might be time to break it off. :c You shouldn't be in a relationship where he's making you feel bad for having a lack of sexual drive. People have different libidos, or, in many people's case, a lack of libido, and he shouldn't shame you for it, or make you feel guilty for it. You shouldn't have to apologize for not wanting to have sex, and he shouldn't complain, because he shouldn't have any inclinations towards pushing you out of your comfort space.
If you're uncomfortable with it and if it's hurting you, you definitely shouldn't force yourself through it, sweetheart. You don't exist to satisfy other people's needs. Since you two have been together for so long, it might be hard, but you shouldn't force yourself through something like that.
The only other thing I can suggest is potentially looking for things to rekindle your sexual desire, but I don't know if that's likely. Seeing as it's very possible that you're asexual, this might be a fruitless endeavor. But if you'd really like to make this work, maybe try exploring some kinks with your boyfriend, and see if it's at all possible to get in the mood? |
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:39 pm
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Posted: Tue Jul 23, 2013 3:35 am
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I'm not asexual, but I am demisexual, which means that I don't experience any sexual attraction for someone until a strong, romantic relationship is established. Put a beautiful stranger in front of me and I'll notice their beauty, but nothing sexual will ever manifest from it. Put a person I'm romantic with in front of me, sexual attraction manifests pretty quickly. It's just the way I'm wired.
At the same time, I have some gray-a tendencies: if I were to fall in love with an asexual person, I'd have no problem with a sex-free relationship. As long as there's love, trust, faithfulness, and friendship, that's all that truly matters to me. Sex isn't a loss.
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Posted: Tue Sep 24, 2013 11:33 am
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Posted: Sat Jan 18, 2014 7:40 am
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 9:23 pm
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