Welcome to Gaia! ::

Its been a while. I've been going through a rough time recently and could use some prayers. I know God is listening, but recently wouldn't be surprised if He didn't want to listen from the stuff I've went through. Even in the past two weeks I've noticed my health changing even worse from minor ailments. My old quick headaches are turning into 8 hour migraine. Another example is since yesterday my blood sugar dropped. I have low blood pressure to begin with, but it crashed bad yesterday than it ever had. Today it was better until earlier this afternoon when I took a nap and woke up feeling like a truck hit me. The nap lasted several hours and in the past few hours since I've been up I feel my blood pressure dropping again. I've been drinking a lot more water than I usually do, I've been eating enough and even eating sugary stuff like oatmeal that's still at least healthy.

I plan on praying in a little bit, but I could use a little help. Mainly the prayer for my health, but for my other issues as well. The other issues along the subjects of sins and faith to put it broadly.

I was doing so well before. I feel ashamed. I'm hoping God will forgive me and help me back on the right track. I know He will, it's just convincing myself not to start self-punishment like beating myself up over it with doubt and negative self criticizing thoughts.

Thank you fellow Christians. I appreciate it. Hope you all have been doing well.

Thank you very much Hamul. I appreciate it. Not since the end of last year. With parents still recovering financially from where I was chronologically sick for a few months and had every test in the book done, can't go to the doctor unless its an emergency since I'm under their insurance. I look up natural remedies to help the best I can and if not I resort to medicine. When I've had my blood tested in the past as well as my blood pressure, all the different doctors have said I was normal and nothing wrong. A couple times I've been low to where they said im right above the line where if I went any lower then they would worry. I'd go to a doctor if I had my own insurance and was able to get my own, but right now that isn't possible. The best I can do is keep my parents updated when things get bad. Then let them decide from there. Its the best I can do for the time being. I've let my parents know about yesterday and today and after I did everything they would have mentioned for me to do besides sleep, I had done. They suggested sleep, but I'm afraid to sleep right now from the way I've been feeling. Kinda how after someone has sleep paralysis and are afraid to go back to sleep, that's the fear I have. Going back to sleep and something might happen is what I fear. Its probably best I sleep, but I feel I won't be able to sleep well unless I break down in front of God confessing everything, asking for forgiveness, and praying everything will be okay. I'm with my fiance for the night but I can't break down around him without him worrying.

I see. That must be difficult to go through. Don't be afraid to ask for help okay? It's not wise to bottle up all your emotions and problems you may be facing internally whether it is physical or mental. Admitting your faults is always a release on our consciences because we all have these tendencies to fall. I think your husband and parents will be more than willing to help support you. God can use anyone and anything to help you but you gotta reach out for help too. :O

I will pray for you.

As long as you've confessed and asked for forgiveness, He's already forgiven you. You just need faith that He has, otherwise you'll worry about it and keep holding onto your mistakes, and the devil wants that so you don't move on. Pray that you can forgive yourself, because it sounds like you need to.