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 Posted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:47 pm
It is kind of a long story. Two of my very dear friends found out that they will be having a child. They are not married. This child was not planned, and they are not financially ready for this. My friend offered to marry his girlfriend and help her raise the child. The girl's father is pressuring her into ditching him and adopting the child out. My friend is truly crushed that his girlfriend's father is making her choose between her relationship with her father versus the relationship with the baby's father.
To add to the stress, they did not find out until very recently. She is already near her 8th month and the baby is due sometime in the middle of July. She went through nearly 7 months of pregnancy not knowing that she was pregnant. She has to make a decision about marriage and about keeping the baby.
I also need the grace to speak wisdom into their lives. I told them I would be there for them no matter what choice they made. I also told them that they should perhaps take a day off from any activities and just take a day to think about the realities of the situation, and the pros and cons of each alternative. They are believers who made a mistake in having premarital sex. They both agree abortion is definitely NOT an option but are stuck between adoption and keeping the child.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:59 pm
I am praying. I hope they do the right thing and its a good thing to know that they are not going to abort.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:10 pm
Even if they wanted to abort they can't abort in the state of virginia because we're rather strict about abortions in this state.
Part of me wishes I could take the baby, have my parents adopt it, and finally have a little brother/sister. But I don't think that will happen. My mum would be sympathetic to my friend but my dad would be like 'lolno'.
My brother was unplanned and I'm not sure if I was planned either. But my mum ended up marrying my dad about 7 months before my brother was born. The difference was that my parents were already planning on getting married before my mom got pregnant.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:01 pm
I know how it is dealing with your best friends having a baby before they're married. You're in luck though; your friends are Christians. Mine weren't. I think they should pray about it. Tell them to ask God what He wants them to do, what would be best for the baby.
I know personally, if it was my baby, like Hell I would give him/her up, but everyone is different, and maybe it would be for the better. But I don't think it should happen without the baby's mommy and daddy being absolutely on board and okay with the decision.
Another thing they should keep in mind is how stable their relationship is. Have they broken up in the past? How long have they been together so far? When my best friends were having a baby, they had been together for over a year, but they had broken up a great deal of times until then, and continued to for about a year after the baby was born. If there's any room for doubt in their relationship, that's cause for worry. How will raising a baby in an unstable and unhealthy relationship affect the baby? Your friends may be the exact opposite of what I'm describing, and I don't mean to offend you.
I will pray for you, and for your friends, and for your families, and for the baby as well. Trust in God, because no matter what, He'll take care of everything as long as you guys let Him.
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 8:26 pm
I just got off the phone with him. Poor guy is heartbroken. He says that she basically told him that she never loved him and that she has no interest in raising the child. She may end up leaving him hi and dry with the newborn baby. He's so unprepared for this. And the baby is also extremely small and underweight. He may end up needing lots of medical care.
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Posted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:35 am
*praying*
It's good that they are Christians and not going to abort. They should ask God for the wisdom to make decision.
However, more importantly and firstly, they should truly understand their sin and repent. Because if not, it is possible for the same mistakes to be done again in the future.
1 John 1:9 ESV
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
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