It happened every once in a while, Sagwa-tama had an especially bad day. She'd been in the Jini-msemi for a rather long time now and she had come to terms with her past and the things she had done.. mostly. She moved on, but occasionally she couldn't help but revisit her life and she always ended up sulking about it. So she had found herself a nice little ledge a short distance up the mountain where she could lay and be sad.
She thought mostly about Kianga, the yellow and purple cub she could barely remember now, the one who had been traded away so a god would change her boring white fur to blue. Now, without Insanity to cloud her judgement and the butterflies to tell her how pretty she was, her fur was only a reminder of how foolish she had been. It didn't help to remind herself that it was beyond her control, that her whole pride had been crazy.. but she hadn't heard of anybody else trading cubs to get their way.
She thought about her other cubs, too, the ones she had raised without Kianga and had wisely left her when she decided to hide out in the swamp with her father's family, somewhere far away from what the Kizingo'zaa had become. She had never hoped to see them again but it was nearly impossible now, they would never know where the pride had gone.
None of these were new thoughts, they were the ones she would dwell on when she was feeling particularly blue.
Ruzuna'rai had only recently returned to the Jini-msemi, she had quite the time trying to find out where it went but she had been lucky enough to run into someone near the swamp that knew. Now she was home and had found she was one of few in her family to return. Only one of her littermates had come back before her, privately she was relieved not to end up the only one who returned from her litter like Endesha.
She had some free time so she was exploring. While she was exploring, she happened to spot a very colorful, very familiar figure laying on a low ledge. She didn't know Sagwa-tama well, though she knew they were cousins. Sagwa came just before Ruzuna had left and she was closer to Endesha's age. Still, she didn't have anything else to do and she didn't like how sad Sagwa looked. So she worked her way up and around to see what was up.
"Sagwa?" she called out gently.
Distracted staring at her toes, Sagwa had no idea Ruzuna was headed her way until she heard her name. She looked up with a start, surprised to see it was Ruzuna who came along. It took her a moment to respond, Ruzuna was the same bright yellow as her mother.. and it was the same bright yellow Kianga had had. It came from the grandfather they shared, apparently.
"Afternoon, Ruzuna'rai," she murmured, putting on a smile. Ruzuna had only recently returned, Sagwa had not heard any story behind her cousin's name or if she had any preferences for how to shorten it.. so it was best to simply refer to her by her full name.
"What's got you down?" she asked brightly, not at all fooled by the smile that Sagwa managed to put on. Luckily for the both of them, Ruzuna had mastered how to use a cheerful tone without being overbearing in a situation like this- it was part of how she got her name. She stood, stretched from a much lower ledge to one closer to her cousin, just close enough for a quiet conversation.
Since she was making absolutely no effort to hide it, Sagwa-tama was not surprised by the question. Ruzuna's question seemed sincere but Sagwa rarely found that people really wanted to listen to you complain. Maybe if she had actual friends, but she didn't really let herself do that.
"Just thinking," she said, trying another smile, "Nothing to worry about."
"Oh."
Ruzuna knew when not to push, but that didn't mean she had to leave. Misery loves company, but did it really have to be miserable, too? She didn't have anywhere else to be, after all.
"You picked a nice spot to be sad," she said, looking down to her own feet and back up to the ledge that Sagwa was laying on, "Mind if I join you?"
Sagwa was surprised, she stared for a moment and then inched over a bit, not intending to go out of her way to be rude. She wanted to be alone and miserable, but maybe it was better if she wasn't. She had mixed feelings that it was a cousin so much younger than her, so much younger than the cubs she was thinking about.. but she didn't have it in her to send her away.
"Sure," she said, "Come on up."
Ruzuna smiled and hopped up, laying down beside Sagwa and pausing to admire the dark blue spots on her shoulder. It reminded her of some of her sisters, the only time the blue really showed up her in branch of the family. She had aunts to associate it with, but Sagwa was definitely the most blue.
"We look a lot alike," she said suddenly, looking up to Sagwa's face, "We both have solid colored fur except our toes and spots. Though I guess you have spots under your eyes, too."
Sagwa blinked. She wasn't sure what Ruzuna'rai was going to say but she was surprised when it was something completely unrelated to the fact that she had found her older cousin hanging out here, sulking. She didn't like talking about her appearance but Ruzuna was conveniently talking about everything except the fact she was blue.
"You have rings on your tail," she added with a small, genuine smile, "And your tail and mane are different from the rest of your fur, mine aren't."
"Hmm," Ruzuna murmured, looking over her shoulder and back to her tail, "You're right. But I still think we look very similar. Mama says her father has the spots, too, that must be where we get it. Though your dad has them, too, right?"
She wasn't as familiar with Tetsi'uimbo as she was her aunts, he had arrived the same time as Sagwa and so Ruzuna had barely gotten to meet him before going off for her name.
"They're pretty common in our family, I think."
Looking somewhat distant, Sagwa nodded slowly before focusing back in on Ruzuna. She had seen other family members around with the spots on them, even when all the familiar colors were gone it was an easy way to identify probable family. She couldn't recall his name but a blonde lion not much younger than her stood out in her mind as she thought about it.
That, and of course, one other lion.
"One of my sons had them," she said, "Kokoto."
"Really?" she asked, curious about the past tense but biting back a question about it, deciding to assume it was because her sons were not a part of the pride, "How many sons do you have? Only one got the spots?"
There was a pause almost long enough to allow an answer but Ruzuna cut back in, almost murmuring another thought.
"You'd think they'd be even more common in your cubs when you have them yourself, I'd guess most of my cubs would have them if I ever had any cubs," she said, hesitating only a second before going on, "But I guess only Aunt Ahli and Aunt Jini have them in mom's litter.."
Sagwa opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by Ruzuna's rambling speculation about the presence of spots in litters when you had the spots yourself. She smiled.
"And Uncle Tetsi, don't forget," she said, adding her own father to the list, "That makes half, which sounds right if their father had the spots and their mother did not. Only one of my five had them, but I think they took more after their father than me."
She had never mentioned the father of her cubs before, not to anybody but the cubs and it had taken them a long time to show any interest in who their father was. Another side effect of the curse, perhaps.
"He was all black, even his eyes," she explained, "And I suppose that I was all white except my toes, eyes and shoulder helped to keep them more plain."
Ruzuna was already looking Sagwa up and down critically, considering the statement, before she realized that she had said she was all white. She glanced up with a furrowed brow- only to quickly look away again and attempt to look thoughtful. She was doing so well cheering up Sagwa, calling out a confusing mistake- assuming it was a mistake- was probably not a good idea.
Sagwa realized what she said as soon as she saw the confusion on Ruzuna's face and no sooner. She tensed, wondering how to explain it, wishing she could be as confident and sociable as she usd to be. Telling her story before had, shamefully, been fun. Now it seemed wrong to tell it, especially leaving out Kianga as she so often had. But she had no intention of telling a younger cousin she barely knew about the cub she abandoned so selfishly.
"Uh.."
Sagwa's sudden tenseness settled it, she has made a mistake and wanted to take it back now. Nobody liked to admit they said or did something wrong and she was already depressed so making (or even letting) her do that seemed unfair to Ruzuna. So she put a smile back on.
"I can believe it," she said, "Though sometimes, if you watch carefully around here, you'll find examples of pretty plain parents having exceptionally interesting cubs. But more often, simple parents have simple cubs."
She nodded brightly.
She relaxed and then tilted her head at the information presented to her. She wasn't exactly surprised but she hadn't found any examples of it around here before, perhaps she wasn't paying enough attention. Which would hardly be surprising.
"Yeah," she agreed.
She looked out into the grassy area at the base of the mountain, out where the majority of the pride would be. There wasn't much to see from here now, but it would be a good spot to keep an eye on things. It would be too convenient to have a perfect example happen by now.
Ruzuna smiled and followed Sagwa's gaze out to the ground below them. She didn't seem to be such bad company and so far she seemed to cheer up, so her goal was fulfilled- at least for now. But she was happy to continue hanging out with Sagwa now. Their conversation had reached a quiet conclusion but already the wheels in Ruzuna's head were turning, no doubt she would find them another conversation topic soon.
Fin!
