Welcome to Gaia! ::

Ah..your last sentence honestly brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful.. praise God for softening your heart and opening up your heart to rebuke, correction, and the truth.

Roleplaying has been a huge thing in my life back then. When I was a little girl, I would roleplay with Barbie dolls and poly-pockets but when I was introduced to Gaia..roleplaying took a much more sinister? form. It started out, I guess, 'normal'..but I soon got carried away by it. Much like you, I reversed my own gender role. I was SO into it.. and after being constantly in character in the opposite gender..I became confused thinking that I was perhaps..a different orientation than I biologically was made by Him. And I reveled in the feeling of control- controlling my own characters on what to say, how to feel, how to react.. everything was 'perfect' in my own little world. I enjoyed making stories ..and all these characters would carry bits and pieces of my own personality..but with a different body, different/stronger personality without all the weaknesses that my reality self has. I get it. I was unsaved back when I still did this. And this role playing was actually the most important thing I left out of my testimony. It's something I've been so ashamed of. Because it got WAY out of hand.. possibly more out of hand than you. I felt so disgusted with myself because of the people I've hurt.. and I honestly just knew I was dead in my sins [even while still unsaved- I knew wholeheartedly it was wrong and I that I was deceiving myself].

Now back to you. roleplaying..can be harmful. I know, because I've been there. I've seen what it can do to me..and the damage it's left..not just to me..but to others. In short..yes. Roleplaying is idolatry. We make our own 'perfect'/ideal character and we end up worshiping that character so much so that we BECOME that character..
But that character, brother, isn't us. That character is a lie. We're believing in a lie.. And essentially..that character becomes our 'god'. It consumes our time, our lust to be that character, our fleshy/carnal desires are satisfied through that character.. And no matter how innocent or nice that character may be designed.. it's not us. It's apart from us. It's like wishing we would be like a certain celebrity, for example. Wishing that we'd have their lifestyles, appearance, attitude.. etc. We idolize those things.. and it can hurt and damage the best of people. It can leave us confused to the point of asking ourselves.. "who am I?" It slowly becomes hard to distinguish from reality. And some of those traits that we put into our ideal characters can seep into ours but in a negative way. And the poison of pride consumes our hearts. We want to control every aspect of this character ..and all the while, brother, we are escaping our reality through them and the stories they are involved in. We escape our actual purpose that God wants for us. How can we let Him into our lives, into our whole heart if we are living in a different life/lie? And it's hard. I get it. It's a process that He will walk you out of but you have to be willing to let go, even if it's little by little, or cold-turkey. Let Him convict you of the sins, that grieve Him, through His Holy Spirit.

And no, you aren't 'getting way too bent out of shape' over this. This is serious and needs to be prayed about and worked on with Him.
I would say to be completely honest with Him. Pour your heart out to Him about all of these things and how you feel about them and how you want Him to help you in this. Because there is hope. I've been freed from idolatry, lust, anger, emptiness, and many other things through roleplaying. Don't get me wrong though..idolatry, lust, anger, and emptiness *in other forms/areas* in my life are a constant battle. I'm not totally freed from those things. but in this area- in roleplaying..I have been freed. We are battling against an enemy that we cannot see. And he will use whatever it takes against us to bring us down with him and to separate ourselves from the One who can pull us out and heal us. We need to be careful and mindful of the lies that passes through our thoughts and hearts. We need to compare those lies to scripture and take a stand of the Truth. Like if the enemy whispers that you are unloved. God tells us that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

Even manga, I'd say..has damaged me. It's essentially the same thing as roleplaying since the characters are already made and the story and plot is created..all you gotta do is simply read through it..and most times, we connect with a certain character- especially the main character, and we see ourselves through their lives..and we mentally and emotionally become 'one' with them in a sense. And it's honestly scary.. same with t.v. shows and movies. If we're watching/reading things that involve characters..we need to guard ourselves. We need to think of them as completely separate from us..and not have us put ourselves in their shoes/role/personalities.
It's taken me awhile to be 'weaned' from these things.. especially manga. I would notice that I started to become lustful towards characters, that I started to basically commit adultery in my heart [Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.] The same can be said about looking at men lustfully especially if they're not our spouse and/or if we're single.


May God continually give us all the strength to flee from such lust, idolatry, pride, and many other subtle sins that creep up from this..for He is Sovereign and mighty..and if He can raise Christ from the dead and create the ENTIRE universe, and heal diseases, He can certainly raise us out of the pit that roleplaying sinks us in and any other area in our lives that need His healing, mercy, grace, redemption, love, patience..May He help us to pursue Him continually and to make time for Him..

In Jesus' mighty name, Amen.

All I have is Christ

Lyrics

Yes, I completely agree 3nodding It's definitely something I struggle with as well- not in roleplaying- but with idolatry in general. Even my own stomach can be my 'god' and even my own self can be my 'god', if all I'm doing is paying excessive attention to my [appearance/clothes/indulging in food/drink etc for example]. I realize that other idols in my life don't necessarily have to take on the form of an actual 'god'-like person. I can be my own 'god' in a sense. < ~ Definitely struggling with that which is why I find that intentionally making time for Him helps take the spotlight off of me and shifts my focus back to Him as being my actual God.

@ wildear19: really glad that God has helped you to bring this up, by the way. It's a great reminder for me and, I'm sure, for many of us in this Guild because we all struggle with some form of idolatry.

Ah, thank you for pointing that out!
Maria's right, I should have remembered those verses. Here's another one:


Also, in the spoilers tab where you quoted Hebrew 6:6, are they talking about those who have fallen away from the faith [the entire faith that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and is the Messiah..etc] or those who have fallen by a specific sin? 3nodding Because if we keep a repentant heart and strive diligently to not intentionally pursue the sin that we have confessed..then that's okay. But if we do intentionally go back to those same sins, knowing full well that they are wrong and still do it..then I can see how Hebrew 6:6 would apply. But I also remember how others can fall away from the entire faith.

Quote:

1 Timothy 4:1 [NIV]
The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons

Other translations have: depart from the faith, fall away from the faith, turn away from the faith.