[PRP] First light [Kaen & Radha]

[Huroggmeten]

It had been two days since he had least seen the mare named Radha.
To be more precise: the sun has risen after their parting, set, risen, set... he had wandered awake at the time they had last parted ways, deciding against precision in favor of common decency... and, now, he made his way to her home, as the second dawn broke over the horizon.

He had slept... some, enough. Mostly, he had passed the time as one in a dream, neither as tired as he had been nor as melancholy, merely watching the world around him with an unfamiliar calm as he awaited the appointed time.
With no one to guide, no one in need of aid, and no one to visit close-by, he had wandered... and, waited.

Moving along the hidden path they had traveled together, already past the smooth bends of the river channel and not too far from the two-legged's village, Kaen felt a small smile tug at the corners of his lips.
Two days, she had asked, and two days he had waited.

There had been no storms, no intrusions into this quiet little realm, merely a sequence of temperate and rather uneventful days. He was quite sure that the healer's time would not have past so idly by... and, yet, if he had traveled all about and there were none around in need of any help he could offer, could there have been any need for healing? Perhaps she had collected herbs, or prepared them, or done any other numerous useful tasks.
His accomplishments were nothing more than sleep and self-preservation... he had felt rather useless, his fatigue dispelled by the pleasant encounter and replaced with a kind of quiet energy.

And, aside from walking, he had nothing to.... do with that energy. It felt somehow a waste, and yet what could he have done when not even the woodland creatures needed him? No trees had fallen above burrows, nor sticks and brambles washed down as there had been no rain... with nothing but his own thoughts to occupy his time, he had... nothing to share, save memories.

As he approached the dwelling, night's chill gave way to the sun's steady warmth.
He paused a respectful distance away, enough to let his presence be known to any inhabitants without encroaching on their privacy too much. He knew not whether she was a natural early riser, and thus would find something- walking in vague circles, most likely, he thought wrly- to occupy himself should she not stir.

Good morning.

CitrusCupcake

 

[CitrusCupcake]

Radha had actually spent her time less constructively than Kaen had supposed. She had slept well and long for what was rest of the night after he and she had parted ways, and even into the morning, rising when the sun was fairly high in the sky. She wanted to bathe and get the two-legged one that she was most friendly with to comb the tangles from mane and tail, but first she had to empty the bag of lavender and place it in the special rock she had found and used for drying herbs. It had a strange formation, the top of the large stone had a depressed section, as though someone came alone and pressed a large hoof or finger into it.

Strange though it was, it was also very handy and she moved back and forth for a while, arranging the bundle of lavender so that the stems were spread out in the rock depression in a way that should let them dry in the sun in the most efficient manner. At some point she would have to move the stems around so that they dried evenly, but for now she could leave them.

That done she then paid attention to her appearance, bathing the dust from her travels, and finally getting both mane and tail into a much more presentable state so that when Kaen did turn up (well, she hoped he would), she would look her best. Of course she wasn't doing so because she meant for anything to happen beyond pleasant conversation and getting to know him better, but she still wanted to look nice...

The next day was a relatively quiet one; checking on her drying herbs, making a count of her herb stash and noting that she would have to go travelling again soon as she was low on the special moss she liked to use for binding wounds. Some time was spent with her daughter, before taking a short trip to the nearest herd where she spoke with a first time mother who was due to give birth soon.

She had of course put some thought towards the next day, if indeed he would take her exactly at her word and turn up when she had said. Radha couldn't see why not, nor why she should be fretting about it. Well, she decided to not think more on it until the next morning. When it did dawn, she was up early, there had been an indication of possible rain at some point, a feeling in the air and she wanted to get the still drying herbs stashed away should that actually happen.

That done she headed out from her resting place, off towards the Village. She took a meandering path around, wondering why she suddenly felt like a jittery filly, and when she saw Kaen, the relief that she felt surprised her. She smiled warmly at the stallion and dipped her head in greeting when she drew closer.

"Good morning." she said, taking the opportunity to get a proper look at him now she could see him clearly.

Huroggmeten

heart

 

[Huroggmeten]

She had the most beautiful eyes.

There could be no doubt as to who approached, especially after the pleasant tones of her voice reached his waiting ears.
Eyes locked on hers, transfixed, for a few moments, a slow smile spread across his features before he blinked and softened his gaze. "Good morning, Radha." Returning her greeting in kind, he noticed her luscious mane only because there was so very much of it, falling elegantly right by those beautiful eyes nestled amongst a pure darkness that offset her inner light. A glint of something silver from around her neck caught his attention, though his line of vision remained fixed on face-level- as was only proper.

Looking to the sky, he wondered at the clouds in the distance before returning his attention to the mare he had waited for these two days past. "I hope you have been well?"

CitrusCupcake

xd heart

 

[CitrusCupcake]

"Stay still a moment.." she asked with her prettiest look, flicking mane from face and walking a slow circle around him, before returning to stand before him once again.

"Sorry about that, I wanted a proper look at your markings before we got to talking, that way I wouldn't keep sneaking looks and be distracted," Radha said, and then answered his question with her own.

"I have, and yourself, have you slept much?" she had to ask that straight away, he had talked of it, and she wanted to show that she remembered their conversation and had a care for his well being.

She started slowly walking, giving him a look and a little indication to follow, leading him in a meandering fashion to a pretty little spot by a offshoot of the river that flowed near where she lived, where weeping willows bent and dipped into the water and a few waterfowl were dabbling in the shallows.

Huroggmeten

wink 4laugh

 

[Huroggmeten]

Kaen stood still, his eyes straight ahead, allowing her inspection while suppressing the subtle desire to puff himself up. He had good posture by default, his stallion's neck arched naturally- he was fit, generally, both due to and in spite of his long wandering nights.
He had nothing to be ashamed of. And yet... it mattered, what she thought of him; even if she was not the type to put overmuch care on physical things.

And that look... she was truly stunning, from all he knew of her mind and mannerisms alike.

He smiled, somewhat uncertainty at first, then naturally as his eyes met hers once more. He saw no games there, nothing like the smiles and expressions of.... her.
She, Radha, was genuine, natural, and... easy, to be around.

"No trouble; my... family has rather complex coats." His family, now, was essentially limited to his brother, his brother's life-mate, and their many offspring; and, yet, it still held true, for all that his markings were a relic of the stallion he called sire and yet never 'father'.
Her eyes, perhaps, were much the same, a genetic trait... and yet such visions were uniquely hers, when brought to life with the spirit within.

"I have slept... some." Enough, perhaps; though not as much as some.
Following her as she bade, he found himself awestruck once more by the sight of such splendor in the light of day.
There were some things he missed, always wandering around in the night.

He glanced towards her.
And some things that only a chance encounter would allow.

"Have these days found you well? ... Were you able to tend your herbs in time?" he had no idea of the treatment of lavender, though he presumed that time would not be an issue for anything that needed to be dried... perhaps the more delicate concoctions held an element of haste or rhythm.
Her art was still intriguing to him, both in its own right and as something of her.

CitrusCupcake

:'D

 

[CitrusCupcake]

"Complex, but very striking." Radha gave a little nod as she looked across the slow flowing water, and then back at Kaen.

"My pelt in comparison is plain. Yours has the stars and the moon..." she caught herself staring again, and shaking her head, and then tilting it so that the strands of mane she had disturbed slid back from her face again she gave a little laugh.

"I was mistaken. I think I could look a long time and still see things I did not see at first glance. So you might have to bear the occasional glance away from your face as you speak. Forgive me?" she asked, her purple eyes alight with a slight hint of mischief. She didn't often get to be as light-hearted as she was right now; relations with her daughter were still a touch strained and her work required a steady state of mind.

"That's good, though I may insist on you taking something lavender with you whenever you have take your leave."

She hoped that would later rather than sooner, she had a mind to spend as much of the day as possible with the stallion. Getting to know him, and maybe find out what robbed him of his sleep. Family was a place to start and she went to voice a question but his latter one needed an answer first. Maybe she could steer him back to personal matters afterwards.

"They have been relatively quiet, I have had more time to myself than usual. And the lavender I picked has been drying since the morning after you were kind enough to escort me home. Though I have stashed it away for now as I had a fear of some rain today, and if it did so I would have take my leave to cover it up and well.." she smiled up at Kaen.

"I didn't want anything to interrupt our time together that I had control over."

Huroggmeten

4laugh

 

[Huroggmeten]

"There is beauty in simplicity." He paused, the warm smile encouraged by her little blossom of laughter still lingering on his lips. He knew not why her laughter seemed to come so easily, whether it be a dismissal of her words or amusement at her own antics, but he appreciated the lyrical note and the expression of joy that had so often be absent from his life as of late.
Forgive her, for wishing to look upon him once more? And perhaps a time after that?
"There is nothing to forgive."

There was beauty, too, in her laugh. All around them. He was sure there was much to admire in her heart, as he had seen of her mind thus far.
And yet, were her to offer her those simple truths, would she laugh? Or would she accept the compliment gracefully?
He tuned back in to her voice to hear her offer of lavender.

"It would be an honor." He wasn't quite sure what he would do with a sprig of lavender, other than admire its scent, but he was certain she could suggest a few remedies... and that, too, would be a gift, for it would inspire further conversation.
He was glad she had time to herself, for it seemed that healers were ever on-call. He was reminded again of his inkling that perhaps healers needed one around to ensure that they tended to needs of their own... "I hope you have used it to rest, and recuperate." He would not be so bold as to suggest she needed a handler, as some kind of infant, not yet... thus far, she had proven that she could handle herself quite well. Even if she did get a little lost sometimes...
A concerned gaze flickered towards the dark mare at his side, then softened to one of unexpected pleasure.

'I didn't want anything to interrupt our time together that I had control over.'

So stunningly sweet a sentiment. And for him?
He smiled, turning back to gaze at the road ahead. Strange, how things seemed a little... lighter, now.

And her smile... "You have a lovely smile." he said it without thinking, straight from the heart.
As soon as he had said the words, his mind began to flail about decency and propriety and he waited breathless for her response. He had meant no overture by it, expected nothing in return, and yet... he hoped... he hadn't somehow mucked up this encounter.
It had been so long since he'd been around a mare he wasn't related to, for anything other than to be of use for a moment's action and nothing more. Let alone... Radha.
Feeling a little off-balance and yet trying to remain outwardly calm, he moved a few paces in silence, keeping his eyes fixed ahead.

He couldn't help it. He glanced over...
Would she... bid him to accept the lavender now?

CitrusCupcake

ninja heart

 

[CitrusCupcake]

"So I can stare as much as like, ignore your words and be lost in the intricacies of your patterning.." Radha said, teasing a little now. She wouldn't do that of course, she would pay attention to what he said during their time together and only take her occasional glances but he was being so charming that she couldn't help and imp of mischief was emerging again.

It may have been because he was such a new acquintance and he knew none of her past or background yet that she was able to feel such levity around him - he didn't judge her or hold a grudge and so she could be more the mare she once was.

"And you'll happily forgive me." she smiled and then chuckled a little.

"You're imagining leaving me with a bouquet of lavender aren't you?" she asked, a light breeze taking her mane and tail, moving both slightly, strands lifting and then settling again around her legs.

"It will actually be a small, woven 'pack' that has been steeped in lavender oil, that you wear when you wish to sleep. Inhaling the scent can help you sleep better." she nodded at his question before answering; had he been thinking of her since they parted?

"Yes, a tired healer is a poor healer." she replied. Of course she had had her share of sleepless nights but returning home and finding that not only was her daughter alive but had a family of her own had alleviated much of her stress and now she only had very deep-seated regret and guilt to deal with when it reared its head.

Radha walked on slowly, following the slow course of the river, the smell of moss and damp mud, the sound of the running water a backdrop to their conversation. She paused again when he spoke, a compliment, a few sweet words that sounding genuine, and from his body language after he spoke them, words that had surprised him no less than her. How to reply?

She was pleased at first, then worried that her own silence was stretching too long and that he would think that he had overstepped the mark, when she was in fact happy that the fluttery feeling of nerves had not been for nothing because she had made a mark on him as he had to her. He looked at her, and quickly she smiled as she still wasn't sure what to say..maybe she would just do that. Be honest.

"Thank you Kaen." she began, choosing her words carefully.
"It's easy to have a nice smile, when you are bestowing on one that you are happy to be in the company of."

There. It was a compliment without being too much (in case he was just being kind and the words meant nothing more than their basic meaning), but it said that being around him made her smile, and that she enjoyed being with him.

Huroggmeten

emotion_kirakira

 

[Huroggmeten]

Kaen released a breath he hadn't known he had been holding.
Was she always so graceful, of manner and of speech? To soothe and ease a worried mind, and more to... her words had been slow to sink in.

'... one you are happy to be in the company of.'
'...happy to be...'
'... happy....'

His heart did a queer little tumble- in another life, perhaps it may have soared.
As it was, he was... utterly pleased, that she should feel Happy in his presence.
Safe, aided, relieved- these were the things he was used to inspiring in others, his help a simple task that merited only a simple response. Gratitude, perhaps. But happiness? Oh there, were some who were pleased perhaps, and some who felt joy at a task completed by a sturdy back other than their own, but... happy?

He smiled, gazing at her for a perfect moment.
"Thank you." Thank you for being yourself, though there may be no other you would ever be nor should you strive towards, merely the best version of you- Radha; Thank you for being here, for being with me... thank you for being happy. Thank you for not sending me away, so soon.
He really did have to get over his... insecurity. And it was so easy, in her presence, to... just, be him. No worry, no cares, save those that would always be present when another was around- are you happy? are you safe?- and yet... calm.
Yes, that was what he felt. Somehow both invigorated and- a lovely sense of calm.

"I am glad."

He glanced ahead, and processed the rest of her gentle teasing words. He smiled, lips twitching further into a rare grin as her mischievous jest oh being lost in wondrous staring rolled around his mind.
Well... as long as it makes you happy, you may do whatever you wish.
"As you wish, when you wish, let me not stand in the way of your pleasure." His eyebrow twitched at that- since when did he presume to please her? yet, happiness, was not that a pleasing feeling?- and he continued on. "I..." he considered this next carefully "... was uncertain of my extended welcome, though you had done not to indicate displeasure. Merely, ... a flicker of self-doubt." He offered her a wry smile, an almost sad glimmer passing through his pale blue eyes.
She had shown him much of her self, in her easy manner that seemed to hide a deep and stunning intelligence; he could do no less than to offer her his... honest truth.

"Might a tired healer be coaxed to rest, or does she possess some survival mechanism that tells her when she must withdraw?" A bold question, but his curiosity held caring in it every syllable; he could picture this mare, this Healer, taxing herself far too far to save a life...
He glanced again at her form, the wind teasing the tendrils of her luxurious mane in a quiet dance.
She had prepared a.... sleeping draught... for a stranger, shown him her home. He did not think her unwise, for she must have trusted her instincts and seen he would cause her no harm, not on his life- and yet. He was filled with a subtle unease. Take care of yourself. Who takes care of the healer when she is fatigued?
When she is too tired to tend herself?

"I shall be sure to follow your guidance this night, though I believe that... " he glanced skyward "... a good day in your company may soothe in ways a scent may not."
He was... happy.

For the first time in a long time,
He was happy.

CitrusCupcake

 

[CitrusCupcake]

Radha smiled up at the stallion, wondering what he was thinking, if he would tell her. Maybe when he was more relaxed, though she was feeling less than completely at ease herself because she was picking her words so carefully, even though she was teasing him, smiling, warm and friendly.

"Well that's good, I'm glad that you are glad that I like your company." she giggled, still intent on being teasing him, as she felt it was easier on both of them as it kept things light between them. She glanced occasionally at the ground, making sure that the way before them was free of anything that Kaen or she might catch a hoof on, but mostly she looked at the stallion, which was no hardship.

She was confused as to why he would believe he was in some way a nuisance, and doubly confused as to the self-doubt, but was also gratified that he had spoken so frankly about it. It was a good sign.

"You came across me when I was completely lost and escorted me home in the most gentlemanly manner, you're not likely to outstay your welcome with me Kaen." she replied, catching his gaze and smiling again, but a gentle one, not wanting to seem as giddy as she was feeling, but wanting him to know that there hadn't been one moment when she had thought of him in anyway other than good.

"Sometimes, it depends what I have going on at the time. If somebody has need of me, for healing or comfort, well, my rest and sleep has to take second place." she chuckled.

"Especially if I'm with a mother going through a long labour. But I take care of myself when I am 'off-duty' so to speak, and if I know I won't be able to look after someone to the best of my ability, I put them in touch with another healer. But that's the only time." she paused, looking out across the river for a while.

"The dangerous, the far to travel to. I heal anyone who has need of me." she looked back at him, and tilted her head a little, her mane falling across her face as she did so.

"Then I shall do everything I can to soothe your spirit so that tonight you can sleep like a colt." Radha chuckled.

"You can speak to me of whatever you wish, I will listen. Or. I can tell you something about myself." she fell quiet after saying that. It would be a less than comfortable telling of her history before coming to these parts but she'd not spoken to anyone but her daughter about it thus far.

Huroggmeten

4laugh

 

[Huroggmeten]

Kaen glanced over with a glimmer of amusement, a softness entering his eyes as she teased him gently. It was so easy, so sweet, between them; though he would perhaps never know how carefully she chose her words, or she how.... utterly grateful and pleased he was by her mere existence, let alone that she would share her time with him, it was.... good.

He smiled.

It was good, that they agreed. A shared Gladness.
What else might they share, in times to come?
His gaze turned skywards once more. He would be happy, now, in the present, neither dwelling on the past nor focusing overmuch on the future. Just this, right here, with her, was.... Perfect.

As she spoke, his gaze fixed once more upon her.
He listened.

A frown touched his brow as she admitted to placing others first. Somehow, when he did that, it made utter sense- there was never a choice- and yet when she did that... he frowned.
And then the frown gave way to a tender smile.

Radha.

He paused, quiet for a long while. The expressions seemed to melt away, revealing a steady calm that seemed to freeze his face.
After a while, he smiled once more. He had been neither deciding nor debating, merely realizing that he had already made that decision the first time she'd smiled at him, the first time he'd looked into those beautiful eyes. "I have the utmost respect for your art, though I do admit that I find my... inkling... that a Healer should travel with a guardian of some sort solidified." He sighed. "A Healer is explicitly capable, and needs no watch-dog, though for the times when the healer pushes him or herself to his or her limits and a bit beyond... in those times, it would be... nice, would it not, for someone to be there to look after... you, for a change?"
What he wouldn't give to be able to... fuss, a little.

He blinked.
Well, he hadn't meant to be so bold as to suggest himself, except... he had. Hadn't he?

She chuckled, and he found his mouth curving into a smile once more.
His cheeks tugged a little, and he was reminded by their gently-scolding soreness that it had been a long while since he had smiled this much. Or, at all.

And, of why.

He let out a breath in what could only be called the quietest of sighs, as if expelling his last restraint.
"I would not presume to unload a lifetime's weariness upon you, though I can promise you that... whatever you wish to know, I will answer." He lowered his head a little, to put their gazes level. "I do not need to burden any one else with what I have... seen or done, what others have done, and how hard it was for me to... accept... certain things. That is not, why I am here... and, yet, I do admit there is a certain relief in knowing that everything has been laid bare. No dark secrets, no hesitation or weariness of... the fear of rejection, once more." He wasn't thinking much, just... expressing. "And whatever you wish to say, to hear, to do or know or share or say... I welcome it. "
He straightened after a few heartbeats, light blue gaze bare and honest.

Here: Me.

... You?

CitrusCupcake

emotion_kirakira emotion_bigheart

 

[CitrusCupcake]

Radha again wondered what he was thinking, especially when a frown appeared briefly across his handsome features. But it went as quickly as it had come and so she thought that maybe she had imagined the expression.

"Sometimes I've thought about that, but being a healer is unpredictable, I have been called upon in the middle of the night, in the depths of winter and many other times to travel distances with no notice, so who would I put that burden on?"

She huffed a little as a drifting leaf from somewhere got caught in her mane and she took a moment to tease it out of the strands before it got too tangled in, and then looked at Kaen once more.

"Do you know of someone who would be willing to put up with that?" she said with a soft chuckle. She did sort of feel that he was maybe putting himself forward for the job, but maybe it was just out of politeness and not knowing what life as a healer could entail.

"The past is a dark road not easily travelled." she nodded, a little sombre now. He had things, she had things, but burdens spoken did lessen, and so she took it upon herself to open up first.

"Well." she started, and then looked off into the distance, watching a small flock of birds wheel across the sky for a moment, before realising she had paused.

"I guess I should start by saying that I used to have a mate, and I was part of a herd. We were family for a while, I have a daughter." she paused again, but this was as she thought of Sohalia, her only child, all grown up and a mother herself. She smiled softly, but as usual it was tinged with the guilt she felt at having to send her away.

"I'm sure you'll meet her one day. She's not very social however, so I guess you'll have to be more a part of my life before that happens." she said the last part with a quick sideways look.

"For a good while we were happy. I think we were anyway." she stopped, looking lost and sad, and started slowly walking again, needing a moment before she talked about the part of her life that came after she thought she had everything.

Huroggmeten

Ack, so sorry for delay in replying, I know I meant to a few weeks ago but then got ill so yeah, sowwy

 

[Huroggmeten]

Kaen glanced at the mare beside him, a mare whose inner self was ever more wondrous with every quiet revelation. A mare whose beauty of spirit and tender form was ever-matched by her.... Radha. Why try to describe a being full of Self, who already had a name? Because she inspired him, enlivened him, enlightened while allowing him to just be in her presence and... exist. As he was, all of him. Every moment of his past and ever shining possibility of the future, all at once and just... here.

Here.
Me.

And yet, for all the desire to just lay himself bare, he listened with the care of a caring, enduring, heart.
What she described... oh, how he would welcome such a 'burden'. "Perhaps, one who would consider the honor no burden at all." Something in his expression suggested that her feeling was right.

Smiles and sharing.
The tug of long-unused muscles and the spark of wispy hope.

For the first time, he was at peace with what had come to pass. For every moment, every breath, every torment and every moment of waking clarity... had lead to...
Her.

He listened, and he learned. She began to paint the picture of a past that had lead her to be all she was, a past that had let her choose, perhaps, between who she was and who she would like to be- to stay true to herself, to grow and change even at the cost of happiness- or the revelation of what lay within. He felt that she had always been true to herself, but then did they not all face times of self-revelation and hard-wrought Knowing?
Even now.
"I have two daughters, a son." Facts were easy. "I was not the father I should have been to them, though I have tried to mend what never was." Truth was harder. It hurt, to admit that about himself, though he had been too... obsessed... with making a Family for them that he had failed to be their father, too consumed with his own need to prove that their biological Mother had not simply... that he had not been her tool.
He did not want to shadow this, one of their first times together, with stories of events long past. Though silence was comfortable between them, her sadness was not; so he filled the moments between Radha's story with one of his own, not eagerly rather with quiet reflection in a gentle tone.
Mixed emotion warred with a caution he felt only because of a ghost of a fear of being sent away.

"I chased a dream that was not there, a mare who was more a creation of her own devising than honest with herself." It was a sorry explanation, but the only one he had: truth. "Children of a union fleeting and never even whole, my son and daughters were raised in large part in the warm embrace of my brother and his life's mate." He was there, but in the later years... and he would always regret not being there for them in those formative times, for all that he had honestly felt he was doing them a greater service by trying to heal their mother. And when he couldn't take it any more, he'd... run away, into himself, much as she had, some small part secure in the knowledge that they were Safe and yet the whole of him tortured by his own imagined loss. How could you lose what you never even had?
Lost hope and shattered dreams.
What were they to the wounds of a broken bond?

He more slipped gently into a silent invitation to go on than faded into silence.
'... you'll have to be more a part of my life.... before that happens.' If she had not lost all respect for him. How could an adult convince themselves of lies? He cast off the bitter self-loathing, knowing that it had no place in him. It was one of those little worming thoughts that trickled in when he looked at himself through a stranger's eyes, and not the clear vision of true events. He had been young, and foolish. He was wiser now.

"I am sorry for your loss." The words were common, though the feeling spoke of something deeper. Loss of happiness, loss of herd, loss of mate. Loosing so many aspects of a life, it was a literal closing of a time and spoke to her true strength of spirit that she had endured. Was her healing art a driving force, or was her selflessness of spirit and ability to overcome what made her such a good healer? One and the same?
He never wanted to see her looking so lost, though he knew it would only be a few moments before she found herself again.

He walked by her side, offering quiet companionship and any comfort his presence could give.
He was here, fully present in this moment, for all that memories swirled around them like shadows midst the light.
For as long as she wished.
I am here.

CitrusCupcake

*tired, happy smile* heart Glad you're well.

 

[CitrusCupcake]

"And do you know the name of such a selfless soul?" Radha asked, continuing to gently tease. She had been in the world long enough to know hints and flirtations within words, but she wasn't sure enough to know for sure that their gentle back and forth meant the same to one another. And she had reasons for her reservations. She listened as he spoke of his own past. They had much in common, but also not. She couldn't imagine leaving her daughter for anything other than the reason she had, but she knew that to children no reason was good enough when they felt abandonment. At least he knew that they had been raised safely and well. She had not even had that much.

"Love can be beautiful, and yet bring us so much pain. But it's not something to give up on. We live, and we learn. And we hope. Hope that when we open our heart to someone knew that this will be the one that cherishes it instead of breaking it." she shook her head, focusing on what she wanted to say and getting out, pulling it free like a deep and painful thorn.

"Thank you. For a while after what happened I would not have called it a loss, I would have said it was justice. But I was hurt and had not yet learnt to forgive." she paused for a moment and then continued.

"But I am getting ahead of myself. We, my family, were part of a herd. We lived a long distance from here. The herd was, it was not an easy place to be part of but my mate had insisted, he felt that it was the right place for us, and he knew that my healing gift gave him cachet within it, for he had never had the discipline to do as well as he could have." she was far away now, her words coming from the past as she found herself back there again. She was trembling, visibly so, but she kept talking. The thorn had to be pulled.

"For a time everything was fine, but I knew things would come to a head eventually. The herd had strict guidelines on who the healing arts could be used on, and we were never to administer to those deemed 'lesser'. This I never agreed with or to, and broke herd law often, though I did so in secret, only those I trusted deeply knew what I did, and even then I never involved them in what I did, the healings I did on my own. The last healing I did before I was found out and dragged before the herd council to answer for what they considered a crime was a kalona foal." she stopped, looking at Kaen.

"I don't choose who I help. I was given this gift, and I have always felt that if I were to start picking and choosing who I helped than it would be taken from me. I can't be the one to judge who should live. I do all that I can, and if the spirits feel fit to still take them, than I know that I did all I could."

She walked on a little way, as if needing some space between all that she had said.

"She was a small foal. I don't even know what happened to her. I still wonder. I didn't care what blood ran through her veins, only that it kept doing so. So when I was in front of the council I was ready to take my punishment. What I did, what I do is worth it."

Huroggmeten

Slow reply is slow, hope you're okay as haven't seen you about in a while <3
(s'also long XD)

 

[Huroggmeten]

He listened as she spoke.

His mouth quirked upwards slightly at her question, before settling into the expression of one wholly devoted to listening to another's words- and what remained unsaid.

He followed her on the journey through memories long past, those that still had the power to hurt and those whose wounds had since begun to heal.
They all had their scars.
This mare wore hers beautifully.

She was a healer. It was in her nature. To ask her to do something aside from that, to pick and chose instead of helping those in need as she had helped him, a stranger, to sleep ... No. It was not right.
Right or not, it had happened.
And she lived on.
She thrived.
And seemed to pull him along with her.
"Yes... it does not do to give up hope." He had been hopeless for a long while, but something stirred in him now. He glanced at her, and the smile grew.

"Kaen."

It would not be a burden... to him.
Perhaps there were others, but, well... a charming, honest answer. He was not so out of practice... was he?

He glanced away, his thoughts on to the darker matters of which she'd spoke.
Cachet. He tried not to snort.
It would not be appropriate to express displeasure at a mate who sought only to gain status through another.
He pulled his mind back.
He would be here, ever the supportive listener.
He would not be... jealous.

Putting the matter aside completely, his heart ached for her trials.
To be so driven, to fulfill one's purpose and heal all.

"You did nothing wrong." he said to the mare of times long since past, the shadow memory standing before a council. She knew, of course, but he did not seek to reassure her or mollify her, merely to stand by her as witness. "Deciding, judging others based on predestined lineage or some trait that need not dictate who they are..." his sighed, his voice strong and sure but not wishing to overstep. They had, after all, once been her herd.
Even if borne of a different philosophy.
To be told that what comes as naturally as breathing, even if it does require much more effort, was wrong...
"... Just as healing is a universal thing, it is not for the healer or any other to judge whether a being deserves to be healed, or what they might do after. Only to judge the severity of the wound." He might be oversimplifying things, for after all one can not claim innocence of consequence for their actions, but "Once the blood is cleared and flows once more where it belongs, perhaps then judge and jury may approach. But until then, and even after, it is not right to interfere with a healer's purpose."
He realized then that he thought of healers as a calling apart, one that should not have mortal consequence and judgement rendered upon them.
But even a great healer is still a mare, or stallion.
Beings, themselves, and not above error. But this was not one.

"I hope she lived a long, happy life." His smile came freely, and easily, with her. "Thanks to you."

CitrusCupcake

Trying to get this going again. *snug* heart