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 Posted: Sun Oct 04, 2015 6:15 am
I know my parents' intentions are good and all and I'm lucky to have them but I cant continue living their dreams/visions for me. They want me to be someone, doing something I dont want to. I only agreed to do this in the first place because I thought maybe this is God's will but I was kinda forced into it. Also, I thought maybe God will change my heart and give me passion to do it but until now, tbh I feel the opposite. My heart feels heavy, my conscience is bugging me and I kept getting depressed over this.
I've been planning/thinking of leaving them, my church, hometown..everything behind and live somewhere far. I also want to experience God first hand in my life and to be independent. It's different when you're born into a Christian family.
I've been continually praying to God for change - to change me, give me the passion/vision to keep doing this or to give me the sign and strength to go with my plan. I honestly dont know what to do -- to stay or leave. If I leave, it will be a huge step for me and I will be out of my comfort zone so its really scary.
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:49 am
ScarletXCrossXCrusader I know my parents' intentions are good and all and I'm lucky to have them but I cant continue living their dreams/visions for me. They want me to be someone, doing something I dont want to. I only agreed to do this in the first place because I thought maybe this is God's will but I was kinda forced into it. Also, I thought maybe God will change my heart and give me passion to do it but until now, tbh I feel the opposite. My heart feels heavy, my conscience is bugging me and I kept getting depressed over this. I've been planning/thinking of leaving them, my church, hometown..everything behind and live somewhere far. I also want to experience God first hand in my life and to be independent. It's different when you're born into a Christian family. I've been continually praying to God for change - to change me, give me the passion/vision to keep doing this or to give me the sign and strength to go with my plan. I honestly dont know what to do -- to stay or leave. If I leave, it will be a huge step for me and I will be out of my comfort zone so its really scary. I went through the same thing with my family. They were hindering my spiritual growth instead of building me up to be who God wanted me to be. They constantly pestered me about being who they wanted me to be. It isn't their fault, they just want what is best for me! But they don't know what is best for me, only God knows what is best for all of us! I am 29 years old now. Two years ago I left my home state to move to an entirely different state. It was my first time living in a state other than my home state. I left because I needed to go out on my own and listen to what God wanted instead of listening to the noise around me. I didn't shut my family out entirely, but I didn't let them bother me anymore about what I was doing with my life. Now, two years later, I am in a much better place than I was. MUCH better is an understatement. I found my faith in the Lord (YIPPEE) and I accepted Jesus into my heart. I have always loved God and known He was there watching over me, but I had never accepted Jesus. I have learned to forgive and have forgiven a LOT of people who were still holding me back because of my own grudges. And now I am looking forward to being who I was meant to be all along... Wife to my wonderful husband and Mother to our future children when we start our family! I can focus on getting ready to start our family and taking care of myself and my husband! My situation was probably a lot different than yours, considering I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic.However, the main thing seems to be the same... I needed a change and a fresh new perspective. Sometimes you can only do that by getting away from everyone for a while and just listening to God. My advice to you is PRAY TO GOD! Ask Him what He wants you to do!! If you feel in your heart that He is telling you that a change is in order, then go ahead and move out on your own and be independant and focus on listening to God for a while! He might just let you know what He wants you to do wink
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:49 pm
If possible, could you explain a little more what is happening between you and your parents?
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 3:46 pm
Aloha,
I think there's some things you've left out for us to advise you, but I'll give this my best shot. I'm what some may consider ancient and I hope that my many decades on this earth have given me a little bit of wisdom and discernment. As I shared, you've left out a few things, but I'll share with you the same things I've shared with my own daughter and all the young ones that have come to my lanai to hear 'AuntyKeli' talk story.
There's a big difference between leaving and running. Leaving requires us to make sure we have a few things set before we leave. For example; what will you do for your basic needs? (e.g., place to stay, food, clothes, money, etc.) In all my adventures in life, I have always made sure that if I left one job, I always had another waiting before I quit. Another is age. If you're still in high school, please... stay until after you graduate and before you leave, make sure that you have a job to support yourself. If you're wanting to leave college, would a technical school be better for you or perhaps would be happier to change your major to what you want? No matter what, know that in our technical world of today, getting employed requires some form of education. Staying in school is best; even if it's a certificated program or technical school (those will get you graduated in under 2 years and give you better than minimum wage)
If you're leaving has anything to do with another person, you cannot expect them to support you. You MUST be independent completely. Remember the story of the prodigal son. He too wanted more for his life, but he wasn't wise with his intentions and the world chewed him up and spit him out. He eventually realized that he had the wrong intentions when he left and 'home' became his peace.
If you're in an abusive situation, you must think of your safety as well. However, from what you've shared, this doesn't seem to be the case.
Everyone at some point in their lives looks at where they grew up and makes the decision to either stay or leave. It's a very personal decision to make. Please realize that if you're wanting to find the Lord out in the world, remember that He's right next to you no matter where you go.
No matter what decision you finally make, I would encourage you to be honest with your family. If you leave and don't want to receive many calls per day, be honest about it.
As I said little sistah, there's a big difference between leaving and running. I have always shared with my daughter and every young person I've ever taught or met, that before you get married, make sure you explore the world around you. Live on your own for awhile and definitely live in another country for at least three months... it helps you appreciate your own country and gives you some interesting adventures along the way. If the Lord is leading you, it will become very evident. He will show you where to go and what to do. But be wary if you're not being led. Trust me... I've been on a few roads in my life that I knew were from my own doing... didn't end well. But every time I've been led; the road traveled gave me some grand adventures and I grew in the Lord.
Christian parents always want what's best for their children. I know because one day, my own daughter said to me, "Mom I don't want this path you want for me... It shocked me and saddened me, but we have a very good relationship. I stepped back and supported her 100%. I can pray and hope one day she tries my suggestions, but then, she's an adult and needs to walk the path she best feels she should be on. But mama will ALWAYS be there for her. Your parents may not be quick to support you, but if you're honest and are open with them, I think that will be much better than to leave and cut them off. If you're waiting for one of us to say the words you want as a means to give yourself permission to leave, that's not the best way to make a decision.
I wish you well little sistah. Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Keep you eyes on Him and you'll be fine. I will pray for you. Take care, stay safe and aloha 'oe,
God bless,
AuntyKeli wink
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 3:48 pm
Young King under Heaven If possible, could you explain a little more what is happening between you and your parents?
Aloha, I agree. We're missing information. Good discernment my braddah. wink
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Posted: Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:26 pm
Hello! I agree with these two advice. I kinda feel you there because we're in some sorts of similar situation. If you think your parents might be able to listen well, then go ahead and tell them. Perhaps they would understand.
On the other hand, if I could give you some advice, it would be to WAIT on God's timing. If you know in your heart what God really wants you to do, then I suggest that you don't push it and don't make any rash decision of leaving just because you feel pressured. Don't be in a hurry. If it's really God's plan for you, it WILL come to pass in your life, because God's plans can never be thwarted. Pray for it, give it all to God and lighten up a little bit. Don't be so hard on yourself. God could be preparing you and working things on the background right at this moment for you.
Don't rush. Go talk to your parents if you can. But if you can't, just silently and prayerfully prepare for it, really. Because even if no one understands you right now, it's still between you and God. Trust Him enough to launch you to your destiny at His proper time.
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 6:08 am
Im sorry if I missed out some details. I didn't want to make my post too long for fear that no one would read it sweatdrop but if you guys are still up for it, here goes: To clear things, I already graduated from college. My dad wants me to keep being a teacher and to take charge of the school (a Christian school) someday. I already told him/mom/aunt of my plan in moving to UK (where my aunt is) but they expect me to do the same job and even help my aunt build a branch there and I was like "you gotta be kidding me." I was stunned. I can't tell them that I dont want to be a teacher anymore because they will be disappointed especially my dad. This school thing is great tbh since its ultimate goal is "The Great Commission" w/c is why I kept praying to God to change my heart and give me the passion for teaching. Your advice got me thinking also. Am I leaving or running? I'm not entirely sure. I might be running from a responsibility but should I continue doing something that my heart & mind are not into? I have been struggling for these past 3 yrs. Moses' story where God chose him to lead Israel out of Egypt even though he claimed he was not fit for the task was my inspiration for so long but I'm still confused. Was it really God who called me or my parents? If this is God's will for me, why do I feel unmotivated, repressed and depressed? Regarding the "leaving" requirements you mentioned, I'm still working on it sweatdrop since Im from asia and there are a lot of paperworks to process but I'm thinking that if I get accepted in a new job, maybe it is a "yes" sign from God? Thank you so much for reading and your advices. You're all wonderful! May God bless you even more!
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 7:37 am
So if you do not think that teaching is your passion, what IS your passion? What is it that you want to be doing? What do you feel would be motivating to you? Just curious.
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:00 am
Lady of the Royal Forest So if you do not think that teaching is your passion, what IS your passion? What is it that you want to be doing? What do you feel would be motivating to you? Just curious. That's the problem. I don't have one. But my interest lies in music and arts. How bout you?
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Posted: Thu Oct 08, 2015 8:41 am
ScarletXCrossXCrusader That's the problem. I don't have one. But my interest lies in music and arts. How bout you?
Well, maybe you can teach music also??
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Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:03 am
Lady of the Royal Forest ScarletXCrossXCrusader That's the problem. I don't have one. But my interest lies in music and arts. How bout you?
Well, maybe you can teach music also??That's lovely. I wish I had a talent in writing. I do write short poems sometimes when im inspired. I play bass guitar and drums but im not a pro so definitely no. I really want to work in a museum/art gallery or a library. I hope the Lord will grant this desire of mine.
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Posted: Tue Oct 13, 2015 1:21 pm
ScarletXCrossXCrusader Lady of the Royal Forest ScarletXCrossXCrusader That's the problem. I don't have one. But my interest lies in music and arts. How bout you?
Well, maybe you can teach music also??That's lovely. I wish I had a talent in writing. I do write short poems sometimes when im inspired. I play bass guitar and drums but im not a pro so definitely no. I really want to work in a museum/art gallery or a library. I hope the Lord will grant this desire of mine. That sounds like a nice dream to have. I will be praying for you and your family.
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