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 Posted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 1:27 pm
Heres just one of the many poems I write..
Together At Last
She was found face down
with a note in her hand
It read " I can't do this without him
I hope you understand
She signed her name with a pretty pink pen
and she dotted her i's with a heart
The tear stained note was a painful reminder
of how young love grew apart
News travels quickly as he found out
his best friend and lover had gone
his new friend, whiskey, took control
on & on he sang his song:
Your eyes as green as the summer grass
I thought our love had faded fast
But the passion stayed until death
now you are gone and I have nothing left
deep inside 'I ask should I?'
but the bigger half still says 'Why?'
I love you still, until I die
We're together at last. Goodbye.
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Posted: Tue Mar 28, 2006 3:58 pm
Gah. Morbid. But it's not a bad piece of work. I only found one grammatical error: 'I ask should I?'
It should read I ask 'Should I?' with the quotations placed around the actual thing that this nameless comitter of suicide asks.
Keep at it, because while it may not be true that practice makes perfect, it most certainly does make it better.
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Posted: Thu Mar 30, 2006 6:31 am
Oh yeah, sorry about that error. You see, originally I had this poem on a friend's website; so when I went to get it, I just copy and pasted it into here. I probably should have checked it over for grammer errors and such.
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