|
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles Captain
|
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:52 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:55 pm
|
Shadow of Miracles Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles Captain
|
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2018 12:55 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2018 1:19 pm
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied. Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning. Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly. Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it ( IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather." Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do? Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^
Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin
o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time))
https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955
I have updated the missing parts !
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 4:17 pm
|
Shadow of Miracles Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles Captain
|
Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 4:41 pm
|
|
|
|
vneondreamsv Shadow of Miracles Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied. Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning. Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly. Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it ( IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather." Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do? Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^ Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time)) https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955I have updated the missing parts !
Thank you for making the changes I requested and answering my question ^^ lets get this new review under way!
Okay so for the alchemy topic, I think its best if the word "alchemy" is removed since it doesn't really sound like its alchemy if all she's doing is creating charms and herbal medicine. What I would like for you to do is to remove the mention of Alchemy and instead replace it the explanation you provided me: that she likes to make medicine using herbs and she creates her own charms. Seeing as her grandfather is a spiritualist, its more believable to say that she enjoys making charms than to say she's practicing witch craft. She sounds very similar to the trainer class of Hex Maniac which I think is really cool 3nodding
So basically what I'm saying is to remove the mention of alchemy and to replace it with making medicine and charms. You can mention that she likes reading about hexes if you'd like.
Also I saw that you added the pokemon and inventory sections which is great! But you're going to need to make some changes sweatdrop
1) Pokemon: Because she's starting as a Y1 student her Pokemon's starting level is 5 (you have her with a lvl 12 gastly) so please change the level as well as the moves accordingly. 2) Inventory: You've added extra items to her inventory. Right now, all new students will have their inventory empty except for the PokeGear. You've added Pokeballs, Potions, and an Escape Rope. Please remove these items, the academy will be providing students with items so you do not need to worry.
Alright ^^ please make these changes and quote me once you're done and we can get this profile approved and ready!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 6:33 pm
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles DragonFang099 I want to thank you for taking the time to look over Brian's profile, and I appreciate the feedback. I went ahead and moved his profile to a new thread, as requested, as well as changing some things as far as his bio. I also removed the requested items, and added a sketch pad and notebook. If you would kindly review his profile again and let me know if anything else needs to be edited or removed, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much for making all the changes! I've read the profile again and everything looks great 3nodding I did notice that you included Brian's grandfather in his biography to try and give some reasoning behind his psychic powers. I have heavily debated this, but unfortunately I cannot allow your character to have this power. The idea itself is pretty harmless, but at the same time its too much power for one person to have. Feeling someone's emotions can give you a lot of information about the person and even provide someone with the ability to manipulate situations to their favor because in a sense they'll always know what the person is thinking by the emotions they feel coming from them. So this is my final decision, you must remove all mentions of psychic powers or being able to sense emotions. This includes his grandfather having that power as well. Please remove that from your profile and once you do quote me and I will approve your profile 3nodding I must also mention that you still included a "Poke Ball" as part of your inventory. I have gone ahead and removed that item from your list, Pokeballs will be given to the students in the new academy year so no one may already have a Pokeball (except for the returning students). Thank you once again and I look forward to approving this profile ^^
I can understand where you're coming from as far as the empath ability. I went ahead and removed all mention of the ability, including from his grandfather, though I left his grandfather in his bio as teaching Brian to work as a team with his Pokemon, even though Brian was too young to have any Pokemon of his own. Also, is it alright that I left the part about Brian forming a bond with his mother's Gardevoir as a second mother? If not, I can edit that out, as well.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2018 7:06 pm
|
|
|
|
Shadow of Miracles vneondreamsv Shadow of Miracles Thank you for your patience and I'm excited to get started on this profile review ^^ this thread was created specifically for profile reviews so please make sure to reply here and to always quote so I'm aware you've replied. Alright so let's begin! Akasha sounds like a fun character and I'm looking forward to see how she'll develop during her time in Ordell. Her personality is very interesting and her profile looks great, but there are some things I'll be pointing out that will require a little more explanation/tuning. Age: This is a change that we'll be making to the rules, but depending on which year your character will start the academy will determine their age. First Year students are 11 years old and Second Year students are 12 years old. Therefore please decide whether Akasha will be a First Year student or Second Year student and then change her age accordingly. Alchemy: Okay here is where I have the most questions. What is Alchemy and what does it do in the Pokemon World? I need to know what you are referring to when you say that she "dabbles in alchemy." It just seems a little too broad and I need more specifics on this before I can approve it ( IF I'll approve it). The part about her being able to tell fortunes and read tarot cards is pretty neat and creative so I'm not going to mess with that, but I definitely need to get more information on this Alchemy ability and also what you mean when you mention that it was "inherited from her grandfather." Pokemon/Missing Information: I noticed that there sections missing on your profile which are "Pokemon Team" and "Inventory". I understand that this was probably done on purpose, but please do not forget to include these sections. Now regarding the Pokemon Team section, you have the option of choosing your own Pokemon to bring or you can randomized a starter Pokemon HERE. I would like to know which one will you be choosing to do? Well this is everything that needed reviewing 3nodding as I mentioned, Akasha sounds like a fun character and her personality and traits are all well worked out. Please look over what I mention and quote me once you've posted your respond. Once I have received the answers to the questions I asked, then we'll take a look at your profile again for further review ^^ Okay so for alchemy I was thinking of traditional witch practice. The combination of elements and herbs for things such as medicines, rituals, and charms etc. If this isnt acceptable thats totally fine biggrin o_____o Thats weird I dont remember deleting anything to do with pokemon or inventory (( O H wow I just re checked the profile page and saw it- Im so sorry I didnt even realize it was there last time)) https://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=25267709#383394955I have updated the missing parts ! Thank you for making the changes I requested and answering my question ^^ lets get this new review under way! Okay so for the alchemy topic, I think its best if the word "alchemy" is removed since it doesn't really sound like its alchemy if all she's doing is creating charms and herbal medicine. What I would like for you to do is to remove the mention of Alchemy and instead replace it the explanation you provided me: that she likes to make medicine using herbs and she creates her own charms. Seeing as her grandfather is a spiritualist, its more believable to say that she enjoys making charms than to say she's practicing witch craft. She sounds very similar to the trainer class of Hex Maniac which I think is really cool 3nodding So basically what I'm saying is to remove the mention of alchemy and to replace it with making medicine and charms. You can mention that she likes reading about hexes if you'd like. Also I saw that you added the pokemon and inventory sections which is great! But you're going to need to make some changes sweatdrop 1) Pokemon: Because she's starting as a Y1 student her Pokemon's starting level is 5 (you have her with a lvl 12 gastly) so please change the level as well as the moves accordingly. 2) Inventory: You've added extra items to her inventory. Right now, all new students will have their inventory empty except for the PokeGear. You've added Pokeballs, Potions, and an Escape Rope. Please remove these items, the academy will be providing students with items so you do not need to worry. Alright ^^ please make these changes and quote me once you're done and we can get this profile approved and ready! Haiiiiiiiii ! She's all fixed up now :3
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xX Vice Captain
|
Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2018 10:39 am
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 15, 2018 9:20 pm
|
Xx_Yume_Shinkirou_xX Vice Captain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|