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 Posted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 5:40 pm
Morning had come and sin still remained.
No rain could wash it off. No wind could drift it away.
The Angels and the Gods cried in shame for their follies.
So they decided to end it all as they did before so long ago.
When sunset came all had fallen to dust as did the sins of people and all.
The deed was done all was nothing now.
Except the skies shaded with luscious and crimson orange blazing endless fire in the sky.
A perfect balance was made with the clouds painted a majestic shade of purple.
And the Sun shimmered and shimmered until it's golden light faded.
With the skies the clouds, and the sinful world all gone putting a close to the universe. The only thing that remained was a teardrop that was made from the grieving sun.
Fin.
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Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:22 pm
Lovely!
I suggest you put a comma between 'The deed was done' and 'All was nothing now.' So, like this:
The deed was done, all was nothing now.
I hope this helps!
. biggrin .
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Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 1:34 pm
Everything chile just said I agree with, especially the part about putting in the extra comma. Well done, I especially like how it ends.
Jaikai
xx
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