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 Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 7:55 pm
This is the first poem that I have considered good in any way. I think it paints a good picture and I like the structure. Feel free to criticize it and comment, ect.
A Cadence of Silence that no man can hear,
A ritual at midnight, sound to a deaf ear,
To summon the Magic and bring it all near,
To clear the mind, erase all fear
We'll dance in the moonlight and all gather 'round.
We'll parade at midnight acroos sacred ground.
You can dance to the Cadence, the beat without sound.
Come along with me to this place that I've found.
Come, I will show you,
Or you'll never know...
The Cadence of Silence,
Come join the show.
Well, what do you think of it?
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Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 1:37 pm
I think it is really, really great smile Thumbs up!! Just one point, I would leave out the elipse (the ...) I think it breaks the monotony, otherwise it really is very good. Also I must congradulate you on keeping the beat in a poem, not many people can do that!
Jaikai
xx
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Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 10:46 am
Very nice. Not many people can pull off a proper sonnet. (Oh I do hope that's the right name.) But you'll have to forgive me if I don't count the sylables.
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