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 Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:24 pm
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 11:46 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 12:02 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 7:58 pm
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Aight crip ima rip this, i rep the 210, ***** dont foget it//
I burn niggas wit my quickness, shut em down wit my illness//
you aint no rappa, u just a gangs biznitch//
keep the punchlines to a minimum, meet the end of my aluminum//
cant handle my lyricism, stop with your noobism//
That was just an uppercut to yo style, how//
well let me tell you wit a smile, take yah gurl and beat like machine doin doggystyle//
This aint no gangsta rap now, cuz if it was I'de put this down//
Pop pop, bang bang, huh dog, I cant hear you now//
my rap is so unique, like a b***h in her heat//
rap with a haiku, who, me dawg you just beat yah meat//
my ryhmes will murder you, like 23 skidoo, before you can eva touch me//
its sad just like the blues, on the 10 o'clock news, ***** im straight nasty//
ryhmes like atom bombs, they make history, dont bother me cuz you aint lyrically worthy//
cripple you lookin like a pirate with scurvy, hurry, befor you bore me wit yah fake a** story's//
last verse before i have to bounce, dawg dont worry//
if you come back from your dog house, then ill give you a cookie//
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:34 pm
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i rep that two eleven, ***** respect this//
i see you spitten it stupid, you just another person for me to disrespect b***h//
you play with aluminum while i bang with the tech b***h//
they say dont do em in cause y'all know who the best is//
verses so destructive break ya lines liek tetris//
i never know when enough is till i smoke you liek a sausage at breakfast//
then serve you up ***** cause my rhymes is relentless//
ain't no point for me to even go and repent this, god know what im doin//
to tear ya rap life apart, to leave you sullied and ruined//
its straight gully what im doin, assinating these wack cliques//
sayin i cant handle the lyricism, time to assinate a wack b***h//
do you know who you talkin to, ***** this eric//
my level of rap is phenominal, this style aint generic//
only known by a commin few, so my rhymes esoteric//
***** get on my level, attempt to reach my height//
a hundred stories to my building and you aint even make it to teh first flight//
kid this is your plight, the low point in ya life//
you put up a good fight, but the way you spitten wont right//
ya last line that you write was your wackest s**t of the night//
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:39 pm
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CripNiccaFoLyfe i rep that two eleven, ***** respect this// i see you spitten it stupid, you just another person for me to disrespect b***h// you play with aluminum while i bang with the tech b***h// they say dont do em in cause y'all know who the best is// verses so destructive break ya lines liek tetris// i never know when enough is till i smoke you liek a sausage at breakfast// then serve you up ***** cause my rhymes is relentless// ain't no point for me to even go and repent this, god know what im doin// to tear ya rap life apart, to leave you sullied and ruined// its straight gully what im doin, assinating these wack cliques// sayin i cant handle the lyricism, time to assinate a wack b***h// do you know who you talkin to, ***** this eric// my level of rap is phenominal, this style aint generic// only known by a commin few, so my rhymes esoteric// ***** get on my level, attempt to reach my height// a hundred stories to my building and you aint even make it to teh first flight// kid this is your plight, the low point in ya life// you put up a good fight, but the way you spitten wont right// ya last line that you write was your wackest s**t of the night//
((ima step out of the box of what we is doin and say yo last line was actually right lol...i couldnt thank for a minute lol...sorry it just is funny to me)) |
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:51 pm
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CripNiccaFoLyfe i rep that two eleven, ***** respect this// i see you spitten it stupid, you just another person for me to disrespect b***h// you play with aluminum while i bang with the tech b***h// they say dont do em in cause y'all know who the best is// verses so destructive break ya lines liek tetris// i never know when enough is till i smoke you liek a sausage at breakfast// then serve you up ***** cause my rhymes is relentless// ain't no point for me to even go and repent this, god know what im doin// to tear ya rap life apart, to leave you sullied and ruined// its straight gully what im doin, assinating these wack cliques// sayin i cant handle the lyricism, time to assinate a wack b***h// do you know who you talkin to, ***** this eric// my level of rap is phenominal, this style aint generic// only known by a commin few, so my rhymes esoteric// ***** get on my level, attempt to reach my height// a hundred stories to my building and you aint even make it to teh first flight// kid this is your plight, the low point in ya life// you put up a good fight, but the way you spitten wont right// ya last line that you write was your wackest s**t of the night//
U got that last bar right, LMAO!! I'ma spit ma feeling to U, aiight
But um....ya ish was a little off a bit
But don't get me wrong I liked Ur s**t
I mean U gotta find better words to end ya ryhmes
The word "b***h" was used 3 times.
Like I kno U used to having ya ryhmes hit hard. Come'on Eric
And give context clues cuz I don't remember tha meaning of "esoteric" LOL
U had nice word mechanics like similies but U have many punches to expand
It was good twards the end but more is needed to impress this fan
Pretend it was our battle where U got real serious, man
And if he does True, step it WAY UP understand? |
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:54 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:56 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 8:57 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:07 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:09 pm
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True Hip Hop Aight crip ima rip this, i rep the 210, ***** dont foget it// I burn niggas wit my quickness, shut em down wit my illness// you aint no rappa, u just a gangs biznitch// keep the punchlines to a minimum, meet the end of my aluminum// cant handle my lyricism, stop with your noobism// That was just an uppercut to yo style, how// well let me tell you wit a smile, take yah gurl and beat like machine doin doggystyle// This aint no gangsta rap now, cuz if it was I'de put this down// Pop pop, bang bang, huh dog, I cant hear you now// my rap is so unique, like a b***h in her heat// rap with a haiku, who, me dawg you just beat yah meat// my ryhmes will murder you, like 23 skidoo, before you can eva touch me// its sad just like the blues, on the 10 o'clock news, ***** im straight nasty// ryhmes like atom bombs, they make history, dont bother me cuz you aint lyrically worthy// cripple you lookin like a pirate with scurvy, hurry, befor you bore me wit yah fake a** story's// last verse before i have to bounce, dawg dont worry// if you come back from your dog house, then ill give you a cookie//
If U don't strap a vest in a battle U'll end up gon
Say s**t that niggas can't bust on
The ryhmes I mean U really can't miss
Let me demistrate, something like this
"...meet the end of my aluminum"?
"..... take yah gurl and beat like machine doin doggystyle" What the hell U mean?
"This aint no gangsta rap now, cuz if it was I'de put this down
Pop pop, bang bang, huh dog, I cant hear you now" If U said the words exactly how they are, "Down" doesn't ryhme with "Now"
"My ryhmes will murder you, like 23 skidoo...." Corny confused
"***** im straight nasty//
ryhmes like atom bombs, they make history" This doesn't flow that great, and the atom bomb punch could have been said much better
"....dont bother me cuz you aint lyrically worthy//" This would have been a good ryhme to start with but not the way U ended with it
"cripple you lookin like a pirate with scurvy....." Scurrvy is an illness with the lack of vitemin C, how does it cripple U?
"....if you come back from your dog house, then ill give you a cookie" The wackest ending to a ryhme let alone a whole damn Diss, what was U think'n? I'd save the best punch for last |
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Posted: Fri Jun 30, 2006 9:13 pm
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Graphitty-King True Hip Hop Aight crip ima rip this, i rep the 210, ***** dont foget it// I burn niggas wit my quickness, shut em down wit my illness// you aint no rappa, u just a gangs biznitch// keep the punchlines to a minimum, meet the end of my aluminum// cant handle my lyricism, stop with your noobism// That was just an uppercut to yo style, how// well let me tell you wit a smile, take yah gurl and beat like machine doin doggystyle// This aint no gangsta rap now, cuz if it was I'de put this down// Pop pop, bang bang, huh dog, I cant hear you now// my rap is so unique, like a b***h in her heat// rap with a haiku, who, me dawg you just beat yah meat// my ryhmes will murder you, like 23 skidoo, before you can eva touch me// its sad just like the blues, on the 10 o'clock news, ***** im straight nasty// ryhmes like atom bombs, they make history, dont bother me cuz you aint lyrically worthy// cripple you lookin like a pirate with scurvy, hurry, befor you bore me wit yah fake a** story's// last verse before i have to bounce, dawg dont worry// if you come back from your dog house, then ill give you a cookie// If U don't strap a vest in a battle U'll end up gon Say s**t that niggas can't bust on The ryhmes I mean U really can't miss Let me demistrate, something like this "...meet the end of my aluminum"? "..... take yah gurl and beat like machine doin doggystyle" What the hell U mean? "This aint no gangsta rap now, cuz if it was I'de put this down Pop pop, bang bang, huh dog, I cant hear you now" If U said the words exactly how they are, "Down" doesn't ryhme with "Now" "My ryhmes will murder you, like 23 skidoo...." Corny confused "***** im straight nasty// ryhmes like atom bombs, they make history" This doesn't flow that great, and the atom bomb punch could have been said much better "....dont bother me cuz you aint lyrically worthy//" This would have been a good ryhme to start with but not the way U ended with it "cripple you lookin like a pirate with scurvy....." Scurrvy is an illness with the lack of vitemin C, how does it cripple U? "....if you come back from your dog house, then ill give you a cookie" The wackest ending to a ryhme let alone a whole damn Diss, what was U think'n? I'd save the best punch for last
thanks for the constructive critiscism but it dont really help all that much |
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