Just let this topic die.

[MysticalBlueRse]

I met a great guy. Physically he's appealing in everyway. When I am around him I am at ease and feel no bad "vibes" from him. I feel a little safer.

Mentally he's everything I have ever asked for...

The only problem is spiritually...he is a baptist. I at first thought this might not be a problem since he told me that "I would be a bad Baptist if I where to judge your religion"

Now we've been only going out since Friday, THIS friday. Now I agreed to go to his youth group today but now I have been volunteered to go to some sort of youth bible study all week.

I figured I go once so I could later use it to get him to go to a sulstice (SP?) but...spending time...with little kids...all weeks...and well I'M A PAGAN! My dad even gave me this funky look like "What they hell is that boy thinking?"

Do you think I need to tell him to back off on the Baptist...or...suck up and take it?


We broke up.  

[Esteloth]

MysticalBlueRse

I met a great guy. Physically he's appealing in everyway. When I am around him I am at ease and feel no bad "vibes" from him. I feel a little safer.

Mentally he's everything I have ever asked for...

The only problem is spiritually...he is a baptist. I at first thought this might not be a problem since he told me that "I would be a bad Baptist if I where to judge your religion"

Now we've been only going out since Friday, THIS friday. Now I agreed to go to his youth group today but now I have been volunteered to go to some sort of youth bible study all week.

I figured I go once so I could later use it to get him to go to a sulstice (SP?) but...spending time...with little kids...all weeks...and well I'M A PAGAN! My dad even gave me this funky look like "What they hell is that boy thinking?"

Do you think I need to tell him to back off on the Baptist...or...suck up and take it?

I think it shouldn't be a problem as long as you are being true to yourself. If it does get to the point that you feel really caged, then tell him, I'm sure he will understand. (Or I hope he will, but judging from what you say about him, he sounds open-minded and all...)  

[Azana Brown]

Well, I would say to deal with it to a certain degree, like attending the youth group with him, but getting volunteered for a bible study sounds a tad bit much to me. Then again, these are my tastes.

My general advice? If you feel pressured or uncomfortable, you should tell him. I'm sure he doesn't want to force a conversion or make you feel insecure, but he may not know if he's doing so or not unless you tell him. He should be willing to make compromises if he truly has interest in you.  

[Siofra Da`Halbria]

There's nothing wrong with dating Christians, of any kind, as long as they don't try to convert you. I dated a Christian for a week and a half. The only reason we broke up is because I work mornings, he works nights, we have no time to see each other. When we have time to see each other again, we'll start going out again.

One of the reasons we work well together is because we don't even talk about our religion. Sure, we've seen The DaVinci Code, but that movie actually sticks up for Pagans. His parents are Christian too, so his dad is kind of uneasy about me, but his mom doesn't really care about my religion.

Now I've never gone to church with him (he never goes anyways) but of he asked me to go with him and I didn't have any other plans, I would go. I go to church with my friends sometimes, and I have nothing against church, but I'm really not going to go unless I'm invited. I wouldn't tolerate being volunteered for a Bible study group though. If I want to read the Bible, I'll read the Bible. But I'm not going to be forced into it.

I wouldn't force him to go to a Pagan gathering either. I'd simply say that I was going to some sort of gathering, ask if he'd like to go, and if he said no, I'd drop it (but I wouldn't be disappointed), if he said yes I'd be glad.

Tell him that forcing you into situations like Bible study makes you uncomfortable (if it does). He should understand. If he still tries to rope you into Christian gatherings, try to get him to go to a Pagan one. If he's not willing to participate in or at least toleate your religion, it's not good.  

[skipparoo]

I think this could be a little healthy. You both got your own little sanctuarys. That's just me though.  

[Atma311]

A relationship is built on trust and honesty. If you can't be honest and "suck it up", you'll resent him for it later, especially if you keep sucking it up until you reach a breaking point. Tell him the truth. If he is as good as you say, he'll understand and back off... but don't go to his thing just so you can have leverage to make him go to your stuff when he doesn't want to.  

[MysticalBlueRse]

I don't want to do it just for leverage, I also would like to do it so that he realizes I am tolerant of his religion. I don't mind going, I'm just nervous because the people at his church already know I am pagan (They asked and I'm not going to lie).

I want him to realize I am willing to do things he likes, I don't want to seem like someone who DOESN'T tolerate Christians. I mean most of my closest friends have been Christian.

But I still feel like I might be hidding part of who I am going to church, and I don't normally feel like I belong there.

Also, apparently there is this no touchy rule thingy....I didn't know you couldn't hold hands in a Church parking lot....O.O I understand about no kissing and stuff but...  

[Nuri66]

If he's voluteering you for stuff... that's not right. I would tell him how I felt, and forget about being seen as a Christian hater.  

[The Bookwyrm]

That he's a Christian shouldn't matter if he's as tolerant as he says; I have no idea why so many people freak out along the line of "Ohmigosh! My partner is Christian and I'm a Pagan!" Most Christians are decent people, and they're going to leave you to do your own thing while they do theirs. Some jointly attend special celebrations, while others don't

Now my first question to you, honestly, is that he'f he's so okay with your religion what the heck is he doing asking you to go to church with him? Especially if it's making you *that* uncomfortable.

Secondly, don't feel compelled to participate in an event you were volunteered for. Seems a little rediculous, doesn't it, for a Pagan to be a volunteer at a Bible study? You said it: You're Pagan. Be proud of who you are and say that you don't wish to participate.

You shouldn't have to suck anything up, and I suspect asking him to go to a solstice event might go poorly; you started dating him three days ago, and look at what he's pushing on you. After saying "Oh, no I'm alright with your spirituality!" The hell with backing off the Baptist, back off the boy.

Honestly, would you let a friend do this to you? Or wouldn't you expect the friend to show you enough respect to not coerce you into attending functions that make you a) uncomfortable, b) that you have no interest in, and c) that you really don't seem to want to do. If your father is anything like my father, he isn't giving you the look on account of what the boy is thinking; it would be on account of what you're thinking letting someone treat youlike that after three days.

My appologies if that sounds a bit rantish, but I've gone through a miserable relationship with a control freak for a boyfriend, and this is how it got started: First I got dragged along and volunteered, the next thing I knew I wasn't allowed to spend time with anyone but him, my family and friends were inculded in that "anyone."  

[The Bookwyrm]

MysticalBlueRse

I want him to realize I am willing to do things he likes, I don't want to seem like someone who DOESN'T tolerate Christians. I mean most of my closest friends have been Christian.

Have any of your friends ever accused you of not being tolerant because of never going to church functions with them? Honestly, to be tolerant doesn't mean you have to go to church, join the choir, and teach the children; it means that you accept their ideas and beliefs as theirs and respect those beliefs.  

[Nihilistic Seraph]

I say go. It would be a nice time to spend with him, and throw yourself into the activities and try to have fun. You don't have to excuse yourself from the Bible study. Participate, discuss with other, you might even learn something about the religion. Couldn't that be a way of bonding with your guy? Both of you could teach the other about their religion.  

[Guitarhero356]

I would just be sure to keep discussion away from religion then, far far away.  

[MysticalBlueRse]

Well it's not bible study, it's more like babysitting...I sat on the grass while kids tried to destroy the frisbies...because there where so many adults I wasn't needed. But I have never met so many people at once before. Everyone there HAD to know who I was. So I was a bit...caught off gaurd.

And sadly I don't have that great of an outlook on Christians because most of the ones I have met have tried to force me into converting or going to church and the like. And my other pagan friends have found the same problem.

I enjoy going...for the most part. The no touchy rule is so....::growl:: I am a solatary pagan and all, but I am not used to not being allowed to touch people just because it is holy ground. Especially since all we do is hold hands.

I am hoping that I could get him to take me shopping at the local "paganmart" (I'm just a tad bit hyper). And sadly I have not had much chance to introduce him to my religion...Not like there is a local Pagan Church...I could always try to give him a tarot card reading. But that in itself isn't really anything to do with the religion

What was worse was worse was the question "Why did you become Pagan" after her learned I was from a family of Lutherens...well was. My mom has since become a Pagan and my dad...uh...is something  

[The Bookwyrm]

Get used to the no touchy rule and more besides it; Baptists are strict. Depending n how deeply religious his family is, he may not be allowed to go to dances, play cards, things like that. A friend of mine is Baptist, and we used to tease him about being a sinner for going to high school dances. His family likely isn't going to be real big on you cuddling away from church, either. My friend's family didn't tolerate it. At all. Oddly enough, however, the whole family with the exception of his sister (but including his parents) played Dungeons and Dragons...  

[Nihilistic Seraph]

There's no accounting for taste, is there Blue?