Teenage mother (my friend, not me)... advice?

[Pandalover263]

I just found out that my friend Katie* is pregnant. She's 15. And she wants to keep the baby. And she's actually glad she is pregnant. I've met her boyfriend, I think he would help raise him/her/it... but I'm concerned about her mother, because she mentioned casually that if her mother tries to force her to have an abortion, she'd run away. dot dot dot. I told her to talk to Planned Parenthood for counseling and testing just to be SURE that she is pregnant, but she thinks PP is only for abortions. What should I say to her, without being too nosy?

((changed her name for the sake of anonimity))  

[S.T.O.N.E.D]

Honestly, I'm advidly against teen pregnancy because no matter the girl says about wanting to have a baby, I don''t they take actual consideration of how a baby will affect thier life. Nor they don't know that they arn't mature enough to take care of a baby, nor finicially stable enough to take care of a baby.

Babies are a lot of work, I know cause I helped raised my three nephews which made me not want to ever...EVER...get pregnant.

But that really is besides the point. The only thing you can though, as a friend, is support her decision and make sure she knows ever option and how hard it's going to be. And honestly what goes on between her and her mother is between her and her mother, she'll talk to you if she needs to, just don't pressure her.  

[Aurora Sing]

My friend's sister had a baby at 15 and they were so sure that they were going to be great parents and they were going to "play house" and live happily ever after... She is now 20 and the baby is being raised by her mom. At 15 you are not mature enough to have a baby. What will she do when all her friends are going to the movies? going 'clubbing'? What about school?

Raising a child takes so much of your time~It's a lot of hard work!

I think that you should encourage her to do some research~maybe on the internet since she is afraid of PP.  

[S.T.O.N.E.D]

Oh I would also like to note.

You do not have a life after the bay is born. Your life becomes the baby's life and is devoted to making it happy. your life will literally just revovle around the baby's. Or well your friends.


ahaha sorry, I spent a lot of time's talking to friends about this.  

[KrazyTerry]

lol It's alright, I've talked to her some, and since she hasn't told her mom yet I'm still a little worried for her, but she knows that she's going to have to dedicate all her time to this baby... Although she plans on going to a local college, if she does go, I don't know...

ANYway... how do you think she should tell her mother?
EDIT: (oh, sorry, this is my mule ^_^)  

[TintedShades]

I have never been in this situation but I think it would be best to tell her mother straight forward. Leaving it until things get suspisous is only going to make things worse. Besides, I don't think any mother could force someone to get an abortion. It's the girl's choice and her mother might understand wanting to keep the baby anyway.

But that is just my opinion and it's probably not the best one.  

[Nycko]

About your friend, I would rather her talk to her boyfriend. He should take credit in helping her out. But if he's one of those guys who aren't committed, then you should tell your friend go to CPS or any local parenting association that will help your friend. If she wants to live with her mother thats one thing or if she wants to live on her own, she can get help. If she's planning on raising the baby and wants free medical, she should try and live on her own. Not in a sense in an apartment, she can live at a friends house and still collect money and medical from the state for being an dependant mother. If she's planning on continuing her education, she can go to school till she gives birth and then take classes at night or during the day.

There are a lot of options nowadays for teen mothers. I know because my sister-in-law was a teen mother and her boyfriend left her and her daughter. Now things are better for her, but just be supportive and let her know that you're always there to help. There's nothing wrong with being a friend in need.

oh and if you're wondering how I know a little too much, my parents are foster parents and my mother is a CPS worker.  

[TintedShades]

^That's some pretty smart advice.  

[.Stolen.Idenity.]

i know exactly why you are worried heh...i thought it wouldnt be to bad when i had a baby....and truthfully for me its not....my name is katie and im 18 i dont know if yall would call me a teen-mom or not but its still to young to be having a baby...i have a 3 month old daughter heart ....as soon as i found out i was pregnant i called my mom and just said it...i thought for sure she was going to scream and hollar at me but all she said was well...shes was kinda happy lol yet a little dissappointed but thats in the past now....now she has a gorgous granddaughter and she loves her to death.....my daughters dad recently kicked me out of the house so yeah we have been going through a lot of hardships right now...but so far i think its been for the better for me seeing as i am groing up quicker then i ever thought i would....ok to your questions....you need to just be there for her...just be a friend....and if you are willing just tell her anything shes need youll help with....but yes there is a lot of help out there for teen-age moms she could easily get on medicaid...wic possibly....she just needs to gather information if she really going to keep the baby...probably the best way for her to tell her mom...seeing as i dont know her....might just need to sit her down and say mom theres something i need to tell you and just take it from there....idk this might not be great advise to some people but hey she really needs to get it done...  

[~The~Wully~Bully~]

I dont think that would be the best for her body ( cause its not). But I really advise her to go take yoga cause thats what my mom did and she said it didnt hert when she has me and my two sisters. (she was 34 when she had me though). But its a good idea. and there are special classes for pregnancy to take. And she should go and fuind out all her options. And make sure that she does go to the doctor to make sure everything is ok and she does have a healthy baby, cause its not good to be a teen mother and have a child thats not healthy. And just support her and stuff. And make sure she want to have it cause its going to ruin her life. And I know that doesnt sound so good but if I got pregnant I would get an abortion and if I couldnt I would purposely have a miss carrage( I know that sounds bad but I wouldnt have a child now, I"m not that healthy and they dont know whats wrong with me and I have to take pills that wouldnt be good for a baby). anyway just support her and I really hope she can support her child. But YOGA is a very good thing, and if she doesnt want to go to a class she can get a book and do it on her own.  

[Ever-Changing Me]

Your friend "Katie" has no idea what she's getting herself into. My stepmom got pregnant with my baby half-brother when she was 23 or so; she had been living with her dad when she met my still-married dad (the tramp), hadn't even finished collage, and decided that she wanted to have a baby. And now years later, she's still at that 2-year-collage, spending my dad's money on stuff for herself, neglecting her kids because she's too lazy and self-obsorbed to make them food, drive them to school, help them with their homework, teach them morals or ethics, or just take a moment of her precious relaxing time to remind those poor kids that she loves them.

She just gives them junk food and sits them in front of the tv so she doesn't have to deal with them, while my dad works 12 hour night shifts and sleepts during the day to support them (and can't be bothered to pay me and my sister child support) She wanted kids to "play mommy" and now that it's not fun, she's not interested in them anymore.

The only thing that's keeping those kids alive is that my dad is paying for them, her dad takes them off her hands occasionally, and my grandma (my dad's mom) does most of the house work. What makes your friend, who's 15, still in high school, and has a boyfriend who doesn't have a steady job thinks she's going to do any better?  

[Manda_Panda_Bear]

I know this girl at school who had a baby at 16 and she still has the baby. Both her and her boyfriend take care of the child.  

[TintedShades]

Manda_Panda_Bear

I know this girl at school who had a baby at 16 and she still has the baby. Both her and her boyfriend take care of the child.

Yeah, that's possible but it takes away your whole social life and literally everything you do centers around the baby. Most young peaple aren't ready for that or crack under the severe stress and pressure.  

[plumbfairy]

ok honestly i think its her chocie to go out and have love*shakes* and get pregnant but if the boyfriend WILL stay by her side through the WHOLE thing it might turn out ok. most of the stories ive heard like this ended out : boy+girl= a babby babbys almost at birth. guy turns into a scardy cat jerk and leavs the girl and baby to suffer.-and im sure you dont want this to end up to your friend

what i say is you should go talk to her mom about it after talking to your mom (only if you feel comfortable) about it.and ask *friends name here*s mom to keep it quiet and ask her if shes gonna make her child get an abortion if she does say she wants an abortion for her daughter and if she doesnt she gonna kick her out and you know the daughter(your friend) does not want that and wants to have the baby ,id ask my mom if its ok and get a room for her at your house if the boyfriend just up and leavs. if not talk to the boyfriend about it.

my school has posters about this stuff and it has a toll free hot line i could get you if you wanted...so you could give it to your friend.  

[warm weather girl]

This is tough for her, and for you as her friend. If you know an adult she is close to, have a talk with them. She needs to get some good advise now. She will be making a life long commintment and needs lots of help with it. She will need her mother most of all at this time, and you can be sure she will hit the roof, but after getting adjusted to the idea, she will be the biggest help your friend with need. Sit and talk with your friend.