Funniest attempts at insults

[Anardana]

I'm sure you know the deal, you are walking down the stree minding your own business when someone suddenly decides it would be really really funny to yell out some half thought out attempt at wit to you.

So what's the funniest "insult" you've ever recieved. Il put up a couple of my own below.


My uncle: "heh heh , where'd you buy that *witch* skirt a halloween shop hsahahhahah"

me: "marks and spencer"

my uncle: "oh..."

rofl

***********************************
Our local chavs have a unique way of "insulting" people. Aside form the standard. It appears to involve picking somthing glaringly obvious about their target and asking the target if they have this trait...bizarre.

In practise it looks somthing like this..

chav (to my 6"6 boyfriend) - "EHHHHHHHHHHHH ow tall r u??"

from their tone of voice this was clearly supposed to be a rhetorical question.

chav (to me) - "EEEHEEHHEHEH how much blak do u av???"


I could cry for them I really could.  

[Krys_Night]

i guess one of mine would be people screaming goth out of a car window driving by... and then running a red light at the corner from where I'm standing so that I won't follow them.
randomly honking their car horn and giving me the finger, which i cheerfully return.  

[Dorian Requiem]

I've gotten a few honks, dunno if it was mates of mine passing buy, or idiots being idiots. I got the "I would kick you in the face if you piss me off" thing going on. I don't remember what bullies were like when I actually had any, they lasted 1 week before getting scared... emo lol  

[Roaming_D]

Hehe...there are so many attempts at insults that I won't even bother to tell you guys...but it's accutally quite funny and great to tell your friends as a funny story mrgreen  

[Tom Gunn 666]

ok i got one, a guy drove by me, threw somthing liquidy at my window (luckily rolled up) ran the red light and got pulled over 2 blocks later, i drove by waving and smiling....  

[Funkyblueeyes]

Insults... Hahaha.
Guy to me: You're so stupid, you tripped over a cordeless phone!
Guy's friend: ahhahahahah good one man hahhahhahah- rofl
Guy to friend: Shut up. stare
Guy's friend: Okay.

I've been called a witch, and get this: A black cat. Ooooh I'm so hurt! I'm gunna run to my room bawling because you called me a black cat.
All that because I had blue hair.  

[Anardana]

tom gunn 666

ok i got one, a guy drove by me, threw somthing liquidy at my window (luckily rolled up) ran the red light and got pulled over 2 blocks later, i drove by waving and smiling....

thats awesome  

[Anardana]

Funkyblueeyes

Insults... Hahaha.
Guy to me: You're so stupid, you tripped over a cordeless phone!
Guy's friend: ahhahahahah good one man hahhahhahah- rofl
Guy to friend: Shut up. stare
Guy's friend: Okay.

I've been called a witch, and get this: A black cat. Ooooh I'm so hurt! I'm gunna run to my room bawling because you called me a black cat.
All that because I had blue hair.

surely blue cat would have been more logical...if not just as unoffensive  

[GilAskan]

Her: Y'alls can't talk right!
Me: You mean "You all cannot speak correctly"?
Her: Shuddup, raciss' faggit

...

Wait, what happened?

Well, it's about that simple. Some girl came up to me at a book store, and said "Y'alls can't talk right!". I wasn't speaking. I didn't know her, at all. I had never met her. And again, I wasn't speaking in the first place.

WTF?  

[MortSanglant]

I think I might have gotten insulted today. I couldn't tell though.

So I ride my bike to work everyday. Instead of riding in my sneakers and carrying my boots in my bookbag, I just ride in my boots. It's not like it's difficult to do.

I was riding home from work today, listening to Tool, and this car drove by with a kid - maybe a year or two my junior - sticking his head out the window and he yelled, "Nice boots!"

But I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or sincere. I mean, driving past someone isn't the best method of displaying sincerity. Plus I had headphones on.

::shrug::

 

[Krys_Night]

Dorian Requiem

I've gotten a few honks, dunno if it was mates of mine passing buy, or idiots being idiots. I got the "I would kick you in the face if you piss me off" thing going on. I don't remember what bullies were like when I actually had any, they lasted 1 week before getting scared... emo lol

all the bullies that I used to have are now worried that I am going to come to school one day and kill them all... It's fun to play into those fears.  

[DreamerSpirit]

I've gotten many of what I assume were supposed to be insults in regards to my naturally pale complexion.

Girl: Damn! You're so pale you look like a friggin' corpse! Get a tan!
Me: Why thank you for your kind comment on my complexion! I would preferr not to put myself at a igher risk of skin cancer and thus refrain from tanning. Remember, parasols and SPF 50 are your friends! ^-^
Girl: *gives me a wtf look*


Alongside that I've gottne plenty of comments in regards to the fact that I usually have my face stuffed in some bit of classical literature or other. I can't think of any particular incidents at the present, but I have taken some so-called insults for this obsession... I usually just retailiate by reading off random quotes from whatever I'm reading... "Not a dog good Christian fellow, but a flea, so that I may be here and there and everywhere. Oh I'll tickle the pretty wenches plackets!" ~Dr. Faustus by Christopher Marlowe (sorry if the quote is a bit off... 'twas done from memory... ^^'')  

[little_evil_goth]

i get the typical "goth!" "satan!" and "gothic b***h"

last converstaion i had where they tried to insult me went like this;
dude; where the ******** did you get those shoes?$5 bux at savers? *smirks*
me; i wish! $200 at vicious venus
dude; *goes silent*
me; *continues* if you ever happen to find some while your down there make sure you tell me.
 

[chick_with_a_chainsaw]

i get the goth, goth b***h remarks to. my friends decide to be idiots so im described as the goth girl over there.

but my friend was bored in science so he decided to get a pen and write

* die
*goth
*b***h
*slut

all over my arm im just like wtf?  

[Ryuujin X]

"Wierdo", "Satanist", and some more I can't remember because I just don't listen to stuped people. So it's nothing amazing.