Blonde Jokes

[haloshatterer]

sorry guys i couldn't resist whee

i know a blonde so stupid she stared at an orange juice container for 20 minutes because it said 'concentrate'  

[haloshatterer]

i knew a blonde so stupid she sent me a fax with a stamp on it  

[haloshatterer]

i knew a blonde so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone  

[haloshatterer]

i knew a blonde so stupid she tried to drown a fish  

[haloshatterer]

i knew a blonde so stupid she studied for a blood test  

[haloshatterer]

i knew a blonde so stupid when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home  

[BigJammer]

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant  

[BigJammer]

A blond keep going in and out of her house to check the mailbox. A neighbor saw her do that so many times he asks,"Why do you keep doing that?" She replies" Because my computer said I have mail."  

[BigJammer]

how do you know a blond used a computer? theirs whiteout on the screen
how do you know a blond played with the joy stick? its all wet (eww XD)
how do you know a blond used the mouse? its in a cage
how do you know a blond used a keyboard? theirs keys in it.  

[BigJammer]

Two blondes were walking in the forest one day, when they found some tracks on the ground. The first blonde said, "I know what kind of tracks those are. Those are deer tracks."

The second blonde shook her head and said, "No, those are elk tracks." The first blonde said, "No, my daddy showed me those kind of tracks before, and those are deer tracks."

Then the second blonde said, "Well, MY daddy showed me these same exact kind of tracks, and I'm sure these are elk tracks." The two of them argued back and forth for about 15 minutes, and then a train ran them over.  

[BigJammer]

What do you call a blonde with pigtails?

A BJ with handles  

[BigJammer]

There are two blondes and a brunette on an island.

One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each (you get the picture)...

The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat."

With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.

The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need a jetski."

With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.

The genie looks inquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says, "Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge  

[BigJammer]

She Was So Blonde...
...she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
...she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
...she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
...she thought a quarterback was a refund.
...if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back.
...they had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade.
...under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics".
...she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here".. she put "Capricorn".
...she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
...it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
...if she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless.
...when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
...when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home.
...she locked herself in her car and couldn't get out... and cried because the top was down and it was about to rain...
...she refused a chance to go to the policeman's ball because last time she gagged when she got to it...
...she had an abortion because she didn't think it was her's.
...she burned her lips on her muffler trying to blow the dents out of her car  

[BigJammer]

So there was a blonde and she was trying to finish a puzzle but she was having trouble so she called her boyfriend
she told him that the puzzle was suppost to be a tiger so he went over to her house to help her finish
he went in and looked at the table where she was working and he said,"Put the frosted flakes away."  

[BigJammer]

Why did the blond jump out of the building??? to see if her maxi pad had wings!!!!