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Talon Tearine Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2006 6:57 pm
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1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write “for sexual favours”.
7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”.
8. Don’t use any punctuation marks.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle music all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you are not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by a wrestling name.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won! Third time this week!!!!!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!”
19. Tell your children over dinner, “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:05 pm
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haloshatterer Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 7:35 pm
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Posted: Sat Sep 02, 2006 10:09 pm
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Talon Tearine Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 9:50 am
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Posted: Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:25 am
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Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:59 pm
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Posted: Tue May 29, 2007 9:39 pm
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Posted: Wed Jan 02, 2008 4:24 am
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Posted: Fri Jun 04, 2010 8:21 am
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