Here is a bit advice when it comes to death

[Hunter of the Dammed]

Nothing can harden you for the loss of a loved one.

Thats the truth, cause I though I wouldnt mourn for the dead but end up mourning. So there thats the advice.  

[Veruniel]

Personally, I don't want to be hardened.

I always react to death the same way. I get numb. Friends tell me that I'm obviously shaken and in a severe state of shock, but I personally feel as if I'm untouched and can't sense any emotion whatsoever. And I feel guilty because I don't seem to care as much as I should. I want to be able to mourn like everyone else, and I get the urge to call myself a b***h.

I saw a high speed car accident on Friday. A car ploughed into a shopfront. Several people on the sidewalk were badly injured, and one of them is dead.

Four days later, I still feel numb. I damned well wish I could cry.  

[lurichan]

I suppose it doesn't really matter how many times you tell yourself we all die eventually. It's always different when it's someone you actually know sitting there in the casket. Everyone grieves in different ways, but it's never easy to see someone you actually cared about in that state. The realization that you'll never be able to talk with them, laugh with them, and share time together can be absolutly devisating for some people.  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

lurichan

I suppose it doesn't really matter how many times you tell yourself we all die eventually. It's always different when it's someone you actually know sitting there in the casket. Everyone grieves in different ways, but it's never easy to see someone you actually cared about in that state. The realization that you'll never be able to talk with them, laugh with them, and share time together can be absolutly devisating for some people.

okay im not that soft  

[lurichan]

Amon the Halfbreed

lurichan

I suppose it doesn't really matter how many times you tell yourself we all die eventually. It's always different when it's someone you actually know sitting there in the casket. Everyone grieves in different ways, but it's never easy to see someone you actually cared about in that state. The realization that you'll never be able to talk with them, laugh with them, and share time together can be absolutly devisating for some people.

okay im not that soft

I didn't say that was myself or my own personal experiences, I said "some people". Everyone is different.  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

lurichan

Amon the Halfbreed

lurichan

I suppose it doesn't really matter how many times you tell yourself we all die eventually. It's always different when it's someone you actually know sitting there in the casket. Everyone grieves in different ways, but it's never easy to see someone you actually cared about in that state. The realization that you'll never be able to talk with them, laugh with them, and share time together can be absolutly devisating for some people.

okay im not that soft

I didn't say that was myself or my own personal experiences, I said "some people". Everyone is different.

okay , one thing everyone should no cars and beer do not mix  

[lurichan]

Veruniel

Personally, I don't want to be hardened.

I always react to death the same way. I get numb. Friends tell me that I'm obviously shaken and in a severe state of shock, but I personally feel as if I'm untouched and can't sense any emotion whatsoever. And I feel guilty because I don't seem to care as much as I should. I want to be able to mourn like everyone else, and I get the urge to call myself a b***h.

I saw a high speed car accident on Friday. A car ploughed into a shopfront. Several people on the sidewalk were badly injured, and one of them is dead.

Four days later, I still feel numb. I damned well wish I could cry.

*hugs* Eventually the numbness will wear off I'm sure. Sorry to hear you had to bear witness to such things.  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

Veruniel

Personally, I don't want to be hardened.

I always react to death the same way. I get numb. Friends tell me that I'm obviously shaken and in a severe state of shock, but I personally feel as if I'm untouched and can't sense any emotion whatsoever. And I feel guilty because I don't seem to care as much as I should. I want to be able to mourn like everyone else, and I get the urge to call myself a b***h.

I saw a high speed car accident on Friday. A car ploughed into a shopfront. Several people on the sidewalk were badly injured, and one of them is dead.

Four days later, I still feel numb. I damned well wish I could cry.

numbness passes with time  

[Veruniel]

Amon the Halfbreed

numbness passes with time

Numbness passes with years. And once it's gone, most of the sadness it's masking has worn off as well. This means I never have a chance to mourn in a manner that's socially acceptable. Guilt creeps in. "You need to let it out and cry." Believe me, I'd like to. "Don't you even care?" Well, I'd like to think so.  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

Veruniel

Amon the Halfbreed

numbness passes with time

Numbness passes with years. And once it's gone, most of the sadness it's masking has worn off as well. This means I never have a chance to mourn in a manner that's socially acceptable. Guilt creeps in. "You need to let it out and cry." Believe me, I'd like to. "Don't you even care?" Well, I'd like to think so.

If I didnt care I wouldnt have numbness to begin with. Meditation helps though  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

Veruniel

Amon the Halfbreed

numbness passes with time

Numbness passes with years. And once it's gone, most of the sadness it's masking has worn off as well. This means I never have a chance to mourn in a manner that's socially acceptable. Guilt creeps in. "You need to let it out and cry." Believe me, I'd like to. "Don't you even care?" Well, I'd like to think so.

Alao crying used to be for me a sign of weakness, in a way it still does.  

[lurichan]

Veruniel

Amon the Halfbreed

numbness passes with time

Numbness passes with years. And once it's gone, most of the sadness it's masking has worn off as well. This means I never have a chance to mourn in a manner that's socially acceptable. Guilt creeps in. "You need to let it out and cry." Believe me, I'd like to. "Don't you even care?" Well, I'd like to think so.

Not everyone crys. I think it's just as acceptable to say your goodbyes peacefully as it is to cry a river.
I would say your internal conversations do prove that you do indeed care, it's just that for some reason you don't actually express sorrow in the same way a lot of people do.  

[Exodus2]

Amon the Halfbreed

Nothing can harden you for the loss of a loved one.

Thats the truth, cause I though I wouldnt mourn for the dead but end up mourning. So there thats the advice.

yeah, it hurts  

[Spooky Wasabi Princess]

Eh. I'm s**t at mourning.
I don't greive properly.  

[Hunter of the Dammed]

spooky_sez

Eh. I'm s**t at mourning.
I don't greive properly.

there is a proper way?