This burned out my eyes...

[MyOwnBestCritic]

This was originally posted on quizilla.com, and it was reposted and parodied on fictionpress.com by my good friend SapphireIris in Rants, Raves, and Reviews.

It goes something like:

One day, Jim was walking through the forest, when all of a sudden, a fairy popped out!!!!11!! ‘OMFG,’ he said, wondering what the hell a fairy could be possibly doing in his boring life with no friends. He was dressed in all black of course being an emo, with totally pale skin and wonderfully blue eyes when both his parents had brown eyes. The fairy sneezed and fell to the ground. ‘achhooooo!!111!!!’ said the fairy. The fairy sprinkled golden dust everywhere along the ground that sparkled in the sunlight along the path that led thru the woods. ‘owie’ said the fairy, and sneezed again/ anyway, teh fairy started talking about the flowers, ad as pecial flower called the Ruby Queen that wuz makin her sneeze all teh time. 'hm, jim said, maybe i can go find the speceal flower!!111!!!!1 'then again, myabe its dangerous, if it makes the fairy sneeze all the time... oh well1 noboby loves meh, i'll just go and leave them and find a ruby queen flower!11! ten i'll give it to Alecya and shell love me 4ever!!1!!!!!1'


Does this burn out your eyeballs or what?  

[MyOwnBestCritic]

Surprisingly enough, there was a WHOLE STORY typed out like this.

When I asked for an edit, I got:

fu u duno wat ur dng i lyk it dis wy

Which goes to show that even if someone cleans it up a little, inside they are still untranslatable when PMing.  

[Archdemonessa]

Owie? Ouch, that is painful. Fairies are SMART!  

[Galadedrid Damodred]

Fairies are also human-sized beings of magick and darkness, prone to sadism, caprice and mean tricks.  

[street lamps]

I wonder if I even read it all right....?  

[Kaizoku-sensei]

I think my eyeballs are gone.
One has to wonder how I'm typing this though. lol  

[Byrn_in_hel]

That is a truly eye-gouging piece of work. What really made me spasm was "thru". The way people shorten the word through to "thru" annoys me to no end.  

[MyOwnBestCritic]

Is that... blood? Am I bleeding internally?

Ahah, I told the person who wrote this what I did with it. What kind of response do you think I'll get?  

[Jojibear]

I am truly horrible with text talk and you will rarely catch me on anything using text talk. (Regardless of trend)

WHAT THE HELL?!

I know people who write stories like that (especially on fanfiction.net) and it is just a turn off! Put the vowels back in, for heavens sake!  

[MyOwnBestCritic]

artxxisxxbang

I know people who write stories like that (especially on fanfiction.net) and it is just a turn off! Put the vowels back in, for heavens sake!

It's better on fictionpress.com, but there aren't fanfics, just original works. There's less abuse of the language. I'd recommend it if you want to read something with vowels.  

[rae-chan-sensei]

kaizoku72.5

I think my eyeballs are gone.
One has to wonder how I'm typing this though. lol

Touch-typing perhaps?

Anyway, if I find a story typed that way on any site, even if it appears to have a promising plot I refuse to read it. Why waste my time when I can find good stories with vowels?

Of course, one of my favorite authors on Fanfiction.net wrote a parody story of typical Harry/Draco romances (Harry Potter, in case you didn't know. Some people don't...) and did two whole chapters in thirteen-year-old-girl mode. One of the funniest things that I've ever read, and the txt tlk added to the story. (Of course, she doesn't always write like this, which made it ok...)  

[Tarantellatears]

I don't think I'll ever be able to see right again . . .

Do people read this? And like it? Not only is the grammar horrible, the plot is non existant!

I think I'm going to crawl into a hole and die now . . .  

[Kairi_12]

Indeed it does... Indeed it does.  

[Masamune no Hi]

"TXT Talk" overdose... I think my brain is going to explode.  

[Aubrey Nicole]

thestarthatshines

I don't think I'll ever be able to see right again . . .

Do people read this? And like it? Not only is the grammar horrible, the plot is non existant!

I think I'm going to crawl into a hole and die now . . .

Depressingly, people do read things like that.