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 Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:54 pm
An old poem/ song of mine
"Cherry Blue has lips like Sunday Mornings
And Cherry Blue has eyes like evening wine
She walks along the rocks that mark the ocean
And even stops to talk to me sometimes.
"And Cherry Blue can sing like Alka Seltzer
But Cherry Blue can cry like saxophone
She keeps herself apart from petty problems
And promises to never dance alone.
"So Cherry Blue puts on the hippest record
And Cherry Blue slips on the hottest dress
The clubs along the strip alert their doormen
She's VIP and never nothing less.
"So Cherry Blue will sparkle 'til the morning
Yeah! Cherry Blue surrenders to the beat
And when the chill-out music drains the patrons
She'll find her shoes and stumble through the street.
"But Cherry Blue won't show that she's imperfect
And Cherry Blue will shine with Chrysler gleam
She walks along the rocks that mark the ocean
And cries like any angel on the screen."
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 3:03 am
I didn't really like that one, I think you repeated ''Cherry Blue'' to often for my liking. Over repitition. Sorry.
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 10:55 pm
Electrash I didn't really like that one, I think you repeated ''Cherry Blue'' to often for my liking. Over repitition. Sorry. That's, I guess, why it works better as a song than a poem. You can hear it sung here, where I think the repetition works as a metric device. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymPkQtYGn04
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:50 am
Farthingale Electrash I didn't really like that one, I think you repeated ''Cherry Blue'' to often for my liking. Over repitition. Sorry. That's, I guess, why it works better as a song than a poem. You can hear it sung here, where I think the repetition works as a metric device. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymPkQtYGn04.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 2:02 pm
I loved the poem, but I think the song was better.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:36 pm
Electrash Farthingale Electrash I didn't really like that one, I think you repeated ''Cherry Blue'' to often for my liking. Over repitition. Sorry. That's, I guess, why it works better as a song than a poem. You can hear it sung here, where I think the repetition works as a metric device. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymPkQtYGn04. Gosh, thanks!
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 10:40 pm
WickedALady I loved the poem, but I think the song was better. I suppose I do work better in sung metre than written... Most times I've set out to write a poem, I've ended up with a little ditty. wink
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:53 am
Farthingale Electrash Farthingale Electrash I didn't really like that one, I think you repeated ''Cherry Blue'' to often for my liking. Over repitition. Sorry. That's, I guess, why it works better as a song than a poem. You can hear it sung here, where I think the repetition works as a metric device. ]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymPkQtYGn04. Gosh, thanks! Welcome. ^. ^
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Posted: Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:03 pm
Well, I quite enjoyed your poem and the tunes you sang. I would love to hear some soft acoustic guitar along with it. I have to agree with others here. You do have a beautiful voice. Thanks for sharing.
Peace.
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 11:54 pm
hippiepoet1964 Well, I quite enjoyed your poem and the tunes you sang. I would love to hear some soft acoustic guitar along with it. I have to agree with others here. You do have a beautiful voice. Thanks for sharing. Peace. Thank you! I have a lovely acoustic guitar, but I have yet to compose backing for most of those. Claret '91 especially always came to me a capella... It requires some thought. wink
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Posted: Wed Jan 31, 2007 10:37 am
I had to come back and listen to you again today. I think I am falling in love with your voice. One of these days I hope to be popping your CD in and listening to you, whilst relaxing. I've shared you with my husband and daughter as well. My husband(Damon) also thinks you have a beautiful voice. Dangerous Twine; you really do sound quite a lot like Tori Amos. I'll have to go back and listen again to decide which one is my favorite.
Peace.
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Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:42 am
hippiepoet1964 I had to come back and listen to you again today. I think I am falling in love with your voice. One of these days I hope to be popping your CD in and listening to you, whilst relaxing. I've shared you with my husband and daughter as well. My husband(Damon) also thinks you have a beautiful voice. Dangerous Twine; you really do sound quite a lot like Tori Amos. I'll have to go back and listen again to decide which one is my favorite.
Peace.
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