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 Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 10:28 pm
Heaven's Golden Gates
What put the blood,
On that innocent sun?
Who carved in red,
Through that brilliant light?
Sailing through the hardship,
Of the days yet to come.
The silence is now roaring,
In that room left alone.
And for him, oh, for him,
For the faded out light,
The golden gates of Heaven,
Shall let in.
And just him, oh, just him,
That torn out young memory,
The golden gates of Heaven,
Shall accept.
What stained in red,
All those times I recall?
Who tore in shreds,
Endless blue skies?
Walking through fire,
Waiting to be saved.
The sounds of last summer,
Had left with the Fall.
And for him, oh, for him,
For the faded out light,
The golden gates of Heaven,
Shall let in.
And just him, oh, just him,
That torn out young memory,
The golden gates of Heaven,
Shall accept.
*I know there are no rhymes, but that's my style of writing.
*You should be able to understand the storyline of the poem.
*I tried to match it to the singing of celtic folk music.
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 7:53 am
Can someone please comment?
I really would like opinion about this poem..
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:31 am
Wow...it's...well, fifferent ( not in a bad way of course) It kind of reminds me of the old style poems writting back when people still talked with 'thee's and 'thou's and such( I know you didn't use them, just reminds me of it). And I can see how this would match up with celtic music, it kind of has that haunting rhythym to it. Well, anyway, I say good job! ^___^
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 8:32 am
Whoops, I meant different* Sorry! sweatdrop
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 9:15 am
Thank you very much for the comment whee
I'm glad you liked it.
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Posted: Sun Jan 21, 2007 6:34 pm
Very nice ^.^ It reminds me of the old Celtic, and Welsh poems we read in history class!
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Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 6:32 am
Thanks for the comment and compliment.
I'm very glad that people like the poem, I wasn't sure if it came out worth reading. I hope to get more comments, opinions, and advice as well.
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Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 4:20 pm
That's a beautiful poem. I LOVE your abstract...ness... I think you did a really good job giving a personality to your poem. Very colourful and very well done.
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Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 7:51 am
I'm glad you liked it heart
Thank you for the deepening describing in the comment.
I hope to get more comments and extra notes please.
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 1:41 am
Does antone have other notes, advice or opinion about the poem?
I really would like to know, since I want to improve as much as I can..
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Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 4:26 am
I really liked it myself. I do some seriious Haiku sometimes. Maybe sometmie if I'm not swamped with homework I can write some and post it in the forums.
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 12:17 am
Thank you, glad you liked it heart
I'll gladly look at one of your poems when you post it.
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