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 Posted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 1:55 pm
Here are a couple of poems that I wrote a while ago. They're not great I mean I'm not much of a write, but they are very "emotional".....well enjoy =^_^=
~Lost~
What am I supposed to do now?
What am I supposed to think...
It's a race between heart and mind
Who will understand first?
Confusion dwells and lingers as a leech sucking away reason.
How much chaos must there be before peace?
I must hide.
Dissappear from the phase of illusion
Deceit, and heart break.
I must evade weakness and let myself be lost forever...
Never to be found again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~How easy~~
Its amazing how easy we forget
wonderful moment that seem like
it was only yesterday.
Moments that for some may last a life time
but we forget.
Its amazing how easy it is to make one happy
but its amazing how much easier it is to make them sad
Actions without thought, can lead to
certain misunderstandings
But im not misunderstanding this.
You came and left just like a breeze
I though there might be a light there
to guide me but it was all a lie
The nigths we spend together in each others arms
just staring within each others eyes...
it seems like yesterday was the day a flower
was not anymore to be called a flower
for its virgin petals had been touched and taken
by an evil sin
As a stranger i knew i couldnt trust you
but i sought you to be different from the others....
I was impecably wrong...
Its amazing how happiness can end so quickly...
yet not notice it was even there.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:38 pm
Wow...are they really that bad? =;_;=
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:38 am
They aren't bad at all, they're quite good. : ]]
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Posted: Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:39 pm
Thank you ...I'm glad someone took the time to open the file and read it. You will now receive a gift =^_^=
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Posted: Tue Jan 30, 2007 3:46 am
You're very much welcome. : ]
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Posted: Thu Feb 01, 2007 5:49 pm
Hm... I'm going to try to give you constructive crticism. Please don't kill me sweatdrop
The whole emotional thing is way overdone. Sorry, but a lot of these are written without emotion. It's more of a style nowadays than a feeling, which takes away from the "oomph."
However, I love the imagery you use. I see literary devices in there! Many of these "emotional" poems don't bother with anything except "the blood is red." Good job using descriptions, better than usual. I'd recommend that next time, you choose a more... "light" topic, though.
Once again: Please don't kill me!
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Posted: Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:26 am
ha ha ha ha not to worry =^_^=, believe me, I know how to take criticism well. Although I do have to explain myself maybe then you can understand the situation.
See a few months before graduation, I fell into this HUGE depression stage. I wouldn't eat, I wouldn't talk, I stayed away from everyone at school, including my best friend, and whenever I came back home I just wanted to sleep. Back then the whole "Emo" thing wasn't that well known and not everyone could just be labeled emo.(it was in its begining stages I suppose) So really, these poems really have more emotion than any other emo poems. I truly did think about suicide, and I really did cut my wrists(nothing major cuz I almost got caught, which was a good thing) Sadly enough, even today I still go into little Depression stages, but nothing as bad.
I hope I didn't leave a negative impression, It's just the truth. I may sound old by the way I said things, and I just graduated last year, but really, the whole "Emo" things is really getting to me. Anyway, thank you very much for the comment, I appreciate it =^_^=
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 7:47 am
Thank you for the comments guys =^_^=
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Posted: Sun Feb 11, 2007 11:25 am
I really like 'How Easy'.
This line really stood out in my mind, though.Quote: for its virgin petals had been touched and taken by an evil sin
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