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 Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:28 pm
I'd like to share some of my poems to relinquish some feelings i've been bottling inside of me. I'd appreciate it if you could give some comments about it.
Broken Stone
by Seraphic Desire
I cried in a million
I bled my heart
I thirst for warmth
I crawled from grief
I thought of you
Did you think of me?
I longed for you
Did you long for me?
I buried myself
Agonizing in despair
I sat in a seat of black roses
As emotions drained
Thoughts of Mine
by Seraphic Desire
Behind my smiles
Are endless tears
Behind my thoughts
Are buried feelings
My once red heart
Turned black as stone
My eyes with emotion
Went to subtle caution
I thought I was dead
You thought I was sad
I felt nothing
But you felt bad
Wanting You
by Seraphic Desire
Though pain is a memory
It comes back at night
Though you never told me
I still wished you'd come back
Will you still hold me?
Will you still love me?
Sometimes I'm lost in thought
Or would you walk farther,
In the oblivions of our past?
Touch me, Feel me
That's all I ask
But if you can, if you want
Love me, my last
Illusive Truth
by Seraphic Desire
Reality is but a book for me
While illusions and delusions are imposable dreams
I thought I could reach my agony
And dump it out in this battlefield
The deaf are blind,
And the blind are deaf..
Why can't you see?
Why can't you hear?
The truth is nothing..
If you can't even trust me
Trying
by Seraphic Desire
I’m a shattered piece of art
Trying to be her
Someone, I’m not
I’m a chained prisoner
Trying to love
Afraid of losing,
As I untied my knots
I’m a lone flower
Trying to survive
In a wage of battle
Between my fear and my heart
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:34 pm
and feel free to share your own poems as well.
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:41 pm
Emotional, I grant you that. But, they're a bit too random. I sympathize with you, when your emotions are bottled up and let out, it can come unstructured and unorganized. But, relive those memories for but a moment and refine your poetry. It's repetitive, as if you were stuck on one part of a thought and couldn't continue. A few words are forced, while others just don't fit. Some of your poems don't seem to have an ending. You have a lot of thoughts though, and you wrote five poems in an emotional state. Channel your emotions, control is essential. I shall post another poem of mine.
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:45 pm
Lord_Skyy Emotional, I grant you that. But, they're a bit too random. I sympathize with you, when your emotions are bottled up and let out, it can come unstructured and unorganized. But, relive those memories for but a moment and refine your poetry. It's repetitive, as if you were stuck on one part of a thought and couldn't continue. A few words are forced, while others just don't fit. Some of your poems don't seem to have an ending. You have a lot of thoughts though, and you wrote five poems in an emotional state. Channel your emotions, control is essential. I shall post another poem of mine. Thanks for taking time to read them. I wrote some on the same day but obviously I wrote them with the same mood. It would be great if you post your poem here. It would be an honor.
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Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2007 11:48 pm
Woops. It's out there... somewhere.
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Posted: Sun Feb 04, 2007 12:09 pm
Lord_Skyy, I think you overanalyze poetry. It's creative expression.
I thought they were all very good, especially Wanting Me. It had a certain flow to it. heart
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Posted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 2:06 am
sanguinaryheart Lord_Skyy, I think you overanalyze poetry. It's creative expression. I thought they were all very good, especially Wanting Me. It had a certain flow to it. heart Thanks!! I love that poem myself. I've shared it with some of my friends and they always seem to give me a positive comment about it.
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