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Tags: grammar, literate, english, language 

Reply Poetry
As if ??? stupid enough.....

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Poetry is like your own little world, isn't it?
I couldn't agree more. Now give me the damn gold!
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Total Votes : 10


Violet the mystical

PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:43 am


Here's a poem I did because I was bored.
Enjoy.

As if i'm stupid enough to smoke ciggaretts,
As if i'm stupid enough to hurt my friends.
As if i'm stupid enough to show all my feelings,
As if i'm stupid enough to not see what my friends are feeling.

As if my dad is stupid enough to get drunk,
As if my dad is stupid enough.
As if my dad is stupid enough to get into a fight,
As if my dad is stupid enough to listen to my mum.

As if my mum isn't stupid enough to smoke,
As if my mum isn't stupid enough to get drunk.
As if my mum isn't stupid enough to leave the radiator on all the time,
As if my mum isn't stupid enough.

As if my friends are stupid enough to make a very bad decision,
As if my friends are stupid enough to get into loads of trouble.
As if my friends are stupid enough to take all the teachers advice,
As if my friends are stupid enough to not know how to fight.

As if my sisters are stupid enough to walk across the road,
As if my sisters are stupid enough to get really bored.
As if my sisters are stupid enough to not like fluffy bunnies,
As if my sisters ain't stupid enough..... God dammit!

As if i'm stupid enough to get into strangers cars,
As if i'm stupid enough to like the teachers much.
As if i'm stupid enough to not know how to survive,
In this cold, lonely place we call earth.

As if i'm stupid enough.....

Just to clarify, i'm not a miserable jerk, nor goth, and hardly ever emo.
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 12:59 pm


I rather enjoyed this poem. Though, it did get a bit redundant with the AS IF's but I think it works well enough. You weren't goth, emo or other, you are/were yourself. That is a rare trait these days!

Hirashio


Violet the mystical

PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:33 pm


Hirashio
I rather enjoyed this poem. Though, it did get a bit redundant with the AS IF's but I think it works well enough. You weren't goth, emo or other, you are/were yourself. That is a rare trait these days!


Thanks.
You know, for some reason you remind me of fish.
.....Put down on note pad, must seek pherapy.....
Quickly.
o_0
PostPosted: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:31 pm


Vikay Kamasu
Hirashio
I rather enjoyed this poem. Though, it did get a bit redundant with the AS IF's but I think it works well enough. You weren't goth, emo or other, you are/were yourself. That is a rare trait these days!


Thanks.
You know, for some reason you remind me of fish.
.....Put down on note pad, must seek pherapy.....
Quickly.
o_0


Fish? O.o

Corrects note pad-- Quickly Immediately.

Hirashio


Violet the mystical

PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 1:58 pm


Hirashio
Vikay Kamasu
Hirashio
I rather enjoyed this poem. Though, it did get a bit redundant with the AS IF's but I think it works well enough. You weren't goth, emo or other, you are/were yourself. That is a rare trait these days!


Thanks.
You know, for some reason you remind me of fish.
.....Put down on note pad, must seek pherapy.....
Quickly.
o_0


Fish? O.o

Corrects note pad-- Quickly Immediately.


.......
Oh, bollocks!
*Phone just died*
PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:20 pm


frkl.

I read the first stanza and had to stop when I saw every line begin with "as if".

The Man who was Thursday


Violet the mystical

PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 11:40 pm


Judas lscariot
frkl.

I read the first stanza and had to stop when I saw every line begin with "as if".


Well, technically...
Thats the idea basically.
PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 7:48 am


Over repetition. Great concept, but... you need better words and clever ways of giving images.

It's "cigarettes" by the way.

Lord_Skyy


The Man who was Thursday

PostPosted: Wed Feb 14, 2007 9:32 am


Vikay Kamasu
Judas lscariot
frkl.

I read the first stanza and had to stop when I saw every line begin with "as if".


Well, technically...
Thats the idea basically.


No offense, but it's a terrible idea.
PostPosted: Sat Feb 17, 2007 12:09 pm


Lord_Skyy
Over repetition. Great concept, but... you need better words and clever ways of giving images.

It's "cigarettes" by the way.


Thanks.
Can't focus straight when i'm bored or tired.
If i'm really tired i'll start to make many mistakes.
Like I do when i'm role playing on Gaia.
I'll get repetive too when i'm that bored, like I did with this poem.
........
Giving images?
I'm not certain what you mean by that.

Violet the mystical

Reply
Poetry

 
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