Mind Rape and Hopelessness

[Nazo no Kanjojin]

I was recently informed that my exposure to pornography at an early age is the equivalent to molestation. Now I know why I am messed up. I'm going emo, but I've almost lost 2 friends in teh process. I don't know what else to do...my girlfriend is ignoring me (it seems), my parents are harping on my failures, I'm messy and...gah! I just wanna explode sometimes, but I can't. Someone please help me? crying  

[Dirzdra]

Yeah, it is, but, while it is horrible, it's probably not correct to say as a reason, especially if you probably never had an idea of it being "wrong." People that know they are abused tend to dwell on it and know that it makes them feel "unclean" or "dirty," even if they're not sure of why. No one can really say why they are the way they are except that environment has a lot to do with it. You can't put it on just one thing. I'm not trying to sound mean or anything, but it sounds kinda of like you're making an excuse.

Just remember, everyone goes through hardships, and think of the good, not the bad. I know those are really common statements, but they are true.

Also, you control your life. You can make anything seem one way or another if you just put your mind to it.

How about you try talking your girlfriend, or say a few jokes to make her laugh? Getting her a gift on an ordinary day that's not an occasion makes some girls feel special. It's like saying, "I don't need them to remind me that I like you."

You can show your parents everything you've done right. You can even use their disapproval for failure as way to do better.

Hell, you can just try to improve on the little things you do, too. Like: opening the door for your friends and strangers; saying "Thanks," and "Your welcome;" trying to help others out (physically and/or mentally); etc.

You can also pick up a hobby. Many people go into the arts or sports.

While this may seem like a lot, I never said you had to do all of it. You don't have to do any of it if you don't want to. This is just some words of advice, by your request, that I have seen that do tend to work.  

[GilAskan]

An individual is made up from all of the experiences in their life. We, as ourselves, are the culmination of all which has occured within our perception within our lifetime.

While exposure to pornography at a young age may have affected your behavior in some aspects, you can't use it to explain everything which goes wrong in your life. It can't be solely responsible for every single behavioral quirk, every problem, every little detail.  

[Silly_Doll]

Sorry for the stupid question earlier... you'll have to excuse me, I'm on pain killers >.>

Anyway, I know that this is as cliche as it comes of an answer that you'll ever get but... I'm pretty sure that 95% of the population has gone though what you're going through now. Feelings of hoplessness and confusion in our youth are the things we go through, that determine our character. We learn all sorts of things about ourselves, like who we are and who we would like to be when we suffer.

My advice would to be reflect on everything you feel now, everything you've felt before, and what you want to feel. Write down your thoughts, study them, and use them as a key to make your life better.  

[Corpse_Bride_131]

I'm sure exposure to pornography had an impact on you, but you can't blame that one thing on many other things that you consider make you 'messed up'. I'm sure that there were a few other things that contributed to how you are living your life now.  

[-Isel-]

Nazo no Kanjojin

I was recently informed that my exposure to pornography at an early age is the equivalent to molestation. Now I know why I am messed up. I'm going emo, but I've almost lost 2 friends in teh process. I don't know what else to do...my girlfriend is ignoring me (it seems), my parents are harping on my failures, I'm messy and...gah! I just wanna explode sometimes, but I can't. Someone please help me? crying

That's laughable. Looking at porn as a kid, qualifying as molestation? So you saw a picture of some genitals, it's not really ever going to screw you up.

Sounds like what you're going through is typical teen angst, and if I do say so myself, it sounds like junior-high frivolous pseudo-problems.

If "going emo" is causing you to lose friends, then stop. Following a scene is a personal choice. So your girlfriend is ignoring you, why don't you try to fix it? All parents harp on failures. I've got straight A's because of mine, and I'm a busted-up drug addict, I think you've got a lot more going for you.  

[ketchakik]

define exposure and early...

as a victim of molestation i hightly doubt anything watching porn did to you is the same as being molested...

Nazo no Kanjojin

I was recently informed that my exposure to pornography at an early age is the equivalent to molestation. Now I know why I am messed up. I'm going emo, but I've almost lost 2 friends in teh process. I don't know what else to do...my girlfriend is ignoring me (it seems), my parents are harping on my failures, I'm messy and...gah! I just wanna explode sometimes, but I can't. Someone please help me? crying

 

[Nazo no Kanjojin]

Isel

Nazo no Kanjojin

I was recently informed that my exposure to pornography at an early age is the equivalent to molestation. Now I know why I am messed up. I'm going emo, but I've almost lost 2 friends in teh process. I don't know what else to do...my girlfriend is ignoring me (it seems), my parents are harping on my failures, I'm messy and...gah! I just wanna explode sometimes, but I can't. Someone please help me? crying

That's laughable. Looking at porn as a kid, qualifying as molestation? So you saw a picture of some genitals, it's not really ever going to screw you up.

It was a whole movie. 2 or so hours.  

[KendallvonM]

hm.... YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't "go emo!" you could possibly be ruined for the rest of your life! (most of the emo i know are doing just fine...) BUT! you need to stand strong! I for one am not emo or goth, but i can still THINK like one. that is enough for me. you need to watch some sick kiddie movie to get stuff that's bothering you out of your head. or cry in your bedroom when no one's around. crying is fine to let things out though, not to make people give you what you want...  

[Veruniel]

There are different levels of molestation. Exposure to porn at an early age isn't as severe as a sexual encounter when you're way too young for it, but I believe it could be counted as molestation. It depends on the porn, and how you were coaxed or forced to watch it, and how young you were, and a lot of other factors.

But I agree with most of the posters here when they say it's probably not the only reason you're feeling 'messed up.' I don't know the situation, but it sounds to me like you're confused for a lot of reasons, and you're focusing on the porn because it seems easier if you can blame it all on just one thing.

It might help to think of other things that might be confusing you. You've already mentioned critical parents and girlfriend who seems distant. It sounds silly, I know, but one thing you could do is make a list and then think of how you could try to fix each problem, one by one. Break the big mass of uncertainty down into manageable chunks. It's something that's worked for me.  

[The Reused]

wierd... its like drugs.. you have to keep away from it for a couple of days... then you will detach yourdelf from it  

[apanda999]

Sorry, I HAD to get that out! Talk to your damn girlfriend and get over yourself. Your problems are because of things in the present.